Category: Way of Life

Keep your opinions to yourself!

~ PA ~ Leave a comment

One major challenge of simply trying to survive in this information age- is this screwed up part- Everyone thinking and believing that they know it all; have done it all and harboring little or absolute non-existent acceptance towards considering even a feeble possibility of the fact that, “there is and there will be something that is yet to be unraveled and understood”!

To this challenge, add the complexity of growing up in a society where you have pesky neighbors- extended families, dumb witted friends (remember the old adage- Your known by the company you keep!) and office colleagues who are working from their own positions of diminishing intelligence and insecurities- and yes, each one of these characters have an opinion- an opinion about everything and everyone else- but themselves!

Highly opinionated societies are the hallmark of societal dissonance and degradation- the more opinionated a society is, the more screwed up it eventually turns out to be, the closer and familiar synonyms with these kind of messed up places- hypocritical, autocratic, myopic and deep rooted “yes sir” culture!

As an NLP and CBT Practitioner,studying human behaviour- one key learning always has been to ensure all the time and always that we are not carrying this nonsensical burden of being opinionated, judgmental and prejudiced!

You would have come across these typical characters, who have an opinion on things and aspects like- when you should get married, to whom, when to have kids, what dog you should get, when and where you should travel, what new food you should try and why, when you should change your job, what the President of US should do, which politician is better, which political movement is right, how the world must change, why your boss is always screwed up, why you are the only shiny little angel in the whole universe and wear a comic character “save the world” tag on your dumb mind with a blinded vision! At this point your funny brain is tricking you into believing, if this is not what we should be speaking about to others, what the f**k do we speak, well, this is where the trick is, you can and must speak about all this, albeit in a mindful way sans the opinion, judgmental and prejudice laced rhetoric! and trust me that’s a big task and an ongoing learning curve for each one of us (me included).

So, how do you go about it, well here’s what works for me, if it works for you great, else seek your own heaven and until then keep your mouth shut!

One mindful and powerful way to avoid getting into the trap of sharing unwarranted opinions and shutting off being- judgmental and prejudiced, is to be an active and patient listener! This sounds simple but is very very difficult to achieve; listening to the other person without allowing your brain to race away- into creating scenarios and running ahead to conclude before you completely hear what is being said- let me tell you, this is tough and comes with practice- a lot of it- how much- well I have been practicing this for last two decades and still am a student! (you can opine-right away that I am dumb- but well that is exactly what we need to stop!)

Active and focused listening is the first step and the next one is – which is again an important one- remember it is ok and perfectly ok to say, “I don’t know- I need to check the facts and come back if you ask my opinion on or about xyz”. Do these two things and trust me you will start immediately feeling better and realise you have so much time left for yourself to learn and unlearn new things about everything and everyone around you!

Conversations always should be uplifting and enlightening, no I am not suggesting you top be some “guru” or “god sent teacher” of sorts, conversations need to be intellectually stimulating and help yourself and everyone involved, arrive at a moment and say unto themselves, “Ah ha” this is something new or fascinating, well something new to seek, understand…” this my friend is the right space to be in when striking those innocent looking, time killing conversations with people around you!

Normally people tend to mistaken these conversations for serious debates and intellectual verbal dissertation, well some of them would be, but all of them are never that way! The fact is, to be able to speak with intelligence (without being opinionated)needs more effort, energy, wisdom and technique which needs to be nurtured with every conversation!

The dangers of blabbering are more serious, they may start from initiating quarrels/ misunderstandings within workers and in worst case scenario can lead societies to mayhem believing their rulers are doing something gravely wrong and unjust (which may or may not be the case) just based on some loose opinionated blabbering- by someone whom you hold in high regard/ value (without any verifiable metrics) for reasons and opinions best known to you!- because you have been the initiator of the problem as well ( by carrying a brain which feeds on opinions rather then wisdom)!

Before I sign off, for my coffee, simple final words- listen, speak about what you know- what has been evaluated on scientific metrics- logic and when you have nothing to say- keep your mouth shut!

Hope you liked this one, keep writing in and let me know what you would like to read about next…. at Simplifylives, we are on a journey to create value – one day at a time- one challenge at a time…until next time.. ciao!

Welcome to your level of incompetence!

~ PA ~ Leave a comment

Yes, i can feel the grin on your face, right away, after the last blog that seemed a bit heavy and serious; what else could have been on my mind, but to make the misery of your life a little less, by ensuring all of us (me included) to look into the mirror and welcome ourselves and those around us to our respective level of incompetence!

Well, at the very face of it, this seems to be a cute problem , but trust me this is a baby faced killer! and this has harmed organisations not only at local levels but also has resulted into global meltdowns– well case in point- does anyone remember the downfall of the wall street- sub prime crisis- take some time off to dig into those not so helpful discouraging episodes, the fact remains- there were all smart men and women who were screwing up things at the grandest scale while the world was still looking at their coveted degrees in Law and those ever elusive MBAs- you know from where!

People often forget that we are a bio-chemical machine and can fail and fall like any mechanical machine- if you nourish it well- results are amazing- path breaking and scintillating, abuse it and throw garbage into mind and body and well, yes that’s what exactly will come back to oneself and also gift everyone around- the same age old principle of “garbage in and garbage out”!

People have always asked me, why I have been so passionate about aviation ( to such an extent that I choose my window based on the equipment and start doing the pre-flight checks on the android app, to give the crew company from the comfort of my seat)! Well the answer is very simple, it is possibly the only commercially viable profession where you simply can’t screw up and if you still managed to- you will certainly be global headlines- right after the breaking story from The White House- in case you don’t make it with your material body (which is quite likely) your soul will be drenched in outpouring grief from world over- even by people who have nothing to do with you, the passengers or the aircraft manufacturer- this singular overwhelming nuisance has played on the back of the mind of aerospace companies and I believe has managed to keep checks and balances with the odd screw ups every few years!

This overwhelming public shaming and nuisance ensures that commercial aviation works with precision, accuracy and with absolute zero tolerance to manageable and predictable challenges and issues with equipment and people alike! Go a little deep into this fantastic industry and you will uncover the ceaseless, selfless attention to detail, pro-activeness and ownership that each and every person associated with every single take off and landing each time (irrespective whether they are at ground control, the ATC or in the air) its a beautiful ballet that’s rehearsed, improved on an ongoing basis- day in and day out- with only one purpose- Not to screw up!

This unfailing, thrust has made aviation an industry to envy and continues to provide case studies in human mental conditioning and studying aspects of human brain- from simple aspects like body fatigue to complicated behavioral studies- all to ensure- all is well and nothing ends up in the well!

So if, competence is so priced, why is there so much dearth of it all around- well, the fact remains as long as no one gets killed, no one will really bother!

A garment manufacturer will not bother with that odd thread swinging in the air, nor will the call center angel that you spoke last evening will care a damn about what you said, as long as your conversation fits into some customized narration box for her to update and get moving with you sick, overdue card account!

Another fascinating reason why incompetence thrives is- people get promoted to their level of incompetence! and then magic- they have no where to go -within the organisation or outside- because they just manage to make themselves unhireable!– for reasons varying from sheer technical incompetence, to updation of knowledge to sheer laziness and the evil joy of screwing up others even as they mess up the organisation- one department at a time- one level at a time- till all of them become indistinguishable and then there is this great clean up act carried out by some poor investor how finally wakes up to smell the coffee and have the pests weeded out! But by then most of the damage has been done and more often then not at this juncture organisations get into the chameleon mode (new name, new logo, new business vertical, mergers and acquisitions and if nothing works well shut shop)!

So what next, are we all doomed to suffer at the hands of few incompetent souls, well actually the way societies and way of living gets constructed, we still do have a choice- to limit our exposure to external incompetence and dumbness- but for that we need to up our level of competence to be able to distinguish between the innocent point of ignorance and devilish incompetence hiding in plain sight under our nose!

An easy way around this menace, is to be self reflecting- sans carrying the baggage of being judgmental, prejudiced,patronizing and living with a head full of planet saving ideas and believing that you are the modern age Noah with answers to all the miseries! The moment you do this- life will in a wink- become a little more sensible and you should start to see beyond the fog of camouflaged incompetencies around you and genuinely start begetting real leaders who create, add and sustain value for themselves and everyone around- for that is the real hallmark of competence!

I will sign off at this point, time to take a break and try smelling competence among the conflicting odors of incompetence and stupidity around the coffee shop from where I am punching this article!

Until next time, happy reading and raise yourself to your next level of competence and do yourself and the world around you a big f**king favor! God Bless!

Lost smiles,conversations and diminishing common-sense!

~ PA ~ Leave a comment

As the world races ahead, proclaiming technological excellence, with an automation driven solution for everything (except common sense!), one would have expected this to be a great time to be alive! Dig deeper and you would realize how messed up and screwed up all of us are in a grand way!

When was the last time, on a casual stroll you smiled at a stranger and greeted that person, and in process you too were greeted (no staring, stalking or senseless grinning counts in this space- just to be absolutely clear and sure about the choice of words being used).

Our present times reflect a considerable amount of lost faith and trust in fellow human beings- this is again directly proportional to the extent of automation and exposure to senseless capitalism, consumerism and urgining people to participate in the stupid rat-race which has no finish line!

Choose any country on the planet and take an urban mega city of your choice and obeserve the demonstrated behaviour of people towards strangers, forget about smiling, people would be lucky if they were to make an eye contact – most of them would be buried into their smart screens with an omnipresent dumb look on their face all the time! You would see behaviors ranging from mildly unwelcoming to absolutely rude and rarely but sometimes getting on the border of confrontation!

Now, move your location around a 100 mile perimeter to a town or a countryside village or cluster and just see the difference! Well it will be a striking contrast- people have time, courtesy and want to be absolutely sure that they have made your day and you are not lost! (rarely do they know how lost individuals are within themselves!). The fact also remains that great cities are often built and and are a result of the unrelenting toil of people who would have migrated from such small places and have eventually made it their new abode! So the next thought- why do people then change- is this change real or is it something else?

Well the answer has many contours, psychologists would tell you- people acquire behaviors over their intrinsic value systems. The intrinsic value systems are the core of the persona of any person. These intrinsic value systems more often then not set the tone to the patterns displayed by individuals- whether to help or not, whether to strike a conversation or not, to smile or not, to ignore or team up..so on and so forth!

I know this article is kind of being a little slow paced unlike my other salvos, but this one needed a pause in between (the tonality bit) so that sinking-in of thought seeds happens to begin progressive reflection!

Well automation is doing good and screwing up as well-with equal measure and precision. It all depends on which end of the spectrum you are and at what time and for how long!

I had this instance when, once a colleague opened up a weather app on the smartphone and said it will rain as the app predicted. I looked up towards the sky and there was not a shred of grey anywhere, forget the clouds being there or not- well this is how bad our common-sense has got messed up!

We live our life in a way, where a majority believes -all that an apps tell us, what goes viral must be real, what a social site is screaming out is good and true, what the newspaper carried on the front page was the final gospel form the angels; I am not saying these technological advancements are all useless and must be junked or done away with- the point here is that societies have lost the fine sense of judgement and balance when it comes to limit the use of technology in the right way for the right purpose.

I am yet to understand those stupid posts on social handles where couples are telling the world how much they love each other, or if some idiot has got promoted to a President of some cardboard manufacturing or cargo hauling logistics firm or an IT firm or whatever – I mean, really who cares and what the fucking difference does all this crap make to any other random person’s life on the planet- even to the lives of the people you know- you love someone great- let that person know and leave it at that, you got a job or a promotion, let those who matter know and leave it at that (unless you have been elected to lead a country or some shit like that!)

Well psychologists, call this behaviour as an extended form of attention seeking disorder arriving from inability to strike sensible and meaningful conversations- which lead to meaningful relations in real time with real people!

Well people, I will cut this article here, could have gone on and on citing one dumb example after the other, but the whole point is to provide a direction to a sensible and purposeful thinking.

Start by setting “me” times; -a time with yourself to begin with, followed by “authentic” time- to strike conversations with friends and families and make a genuine effort to possibly make that commute a little warm and vibrant for yourself and fellow humans around you (of course yes, in these times of challenges, you must respect privacy of strangers) and be able to connect to new friends and make life a worthwhile experience using appropriate and balanced judgement.

End of the day, when your tombstone is written, no one is going to mention the number of friends you had on a social networking site or how many likes you got for a social post or how many of your videos went viral, what will matter is- How much value you carried with you to your grave and in doing so how many lives you touched and made a positive difference so that it made their journey’s fun and purpose driven!

Logic is good, but common-sense is the holy mother of all hence so hard to seek and even difficult to retain!

At Simplifylives– we touch lives of people and make a directed effort to make that change which will be purpose driven and value driven for times ahead! Until next time……ciao and take care- stay sharp and start smiling!

Leave climate change unto itself!

~ PA ~ Leave a comment

A lot has been said, discussed, written, awards given, money distributed (by nations and banks) and a lot of eye wash and nonsense and “yes” “yes”, do you want a change? “yes” that kind of rhetorical nonsense with people within it not really knowing what they want or what is that these idiots are agreeing to! Welcome to the biggest social party ongoing on planet Earth- The Climate Change party! Now before you think of not reading further, I have my sanity and qualifications intact to be writing on this topic and of course since no one funds my writing, I can be brutally honest and in-the-face with no agenda but to share what it is and then let the reader decide what they want to do with their gifted intellect!

Climate change- It’s hotter, colder, rains a lot, more storms, more powerful, more intense, more impacting and causing more losses! Well in all this narrative apparently what I want you to focus on is the last one- “more losses”. Now the question is why would there be more losses- well guess, since you follow my blog, I assume your level of intelligence and by now you too would have figured out- well as humans- our natural curiosity and ability to keep on flirting with danger and taking senseless risks have pushed us directly in the path of nature’s horror alley! This is the plain and simple philosophical truth about climate change!

Improvements in living conditions have been amazing in the last three decades, we live longer, don’t normally die when we must, keep hanging on with advance medicines, we keep reproducing ( not really caring a bit for anyone or anything) – of course some regions across the globe show a decrease in this aspect- but that’s more a demographic distortion than any real sensible intent to serve a greater cause of humanity! All these advancements and developments at the cost of nature and gross disregard towards it has qualified us to be at the receiving end of nature!

Data that is thrown in our face- citing temperature increase, sea water increase, increase in pollution levels- partly this is also because the ability to measure attributes has become more better and sophisticated with toys developed by scientists coming out of the labs and agenda drivers get to play with them as they like to sell the agenda which makes them happy and rich!

The fact remains, planet – Earth- the third rock from the Sun, cares a damn about who won a Nobel for Climate Change, Physics, Chemistry or how much donation which charity paid to which nation- we are all on this massive rock, travelling along space and time and like everything governed by rules of science- Whether we do something about it or not – things will always continue to progress in the direction that they must as per laws that govern the universe. All this nonsense and spending towards so-called arresting climate change is like wearing your old clothes and chopping yourself to fit in and look younger and nicer!

So you must be thinking, alright to what’s cooking here, well a lot – if you know to choose your menu correctly. This trump card of “climate change” is used by nations to influence how trade is done, what can be done, what cannot be done and importantly all this is dictated by a select few to service their own agendas and how much that lot cares about the climate is for anyone to guess! Just give it a thought- the amount of conferences, movements, protests that happen under this umbrella, just imagine how many people travel, money spent on communication strategies and use of paint, wood, colors, fabric and so called eco-friendly materials to propagate the thought that the climate is getting messed up and we should use resources wisely and sparingly and be just etc. etc…. the irony is that even the process of communicating this bit is filled with hypocrisy and does more harm to the cause than what these groups supposedly claim!

Things are very simple- the planet is changing and will always continue to even as it obeys the laws of physics and eventually gets consumed by the Sun in the next 4.5 billion years- at that time, no matter how many placards you hold nothing will change the fate of the planet! The learning and honest take here is simple- be honest the way you go about your living, have sensibilities to what you consume and how much you consume and open up to a culture of collective sharing and caring for the larger good of the society and respect natural boundaries and stop living where you must not- other things will be automatically managed and for all you know- you will start to enjoy live telecasts of storms and floods from the comfort of your home once you begin to live where you should be living- without trespassing into the natural zones that you mustn’t.

Always remember it is not the earthquake that kills- it is the structure that falls when the earth quakes that kills you! Think about it and stay wise and don’t get sold into this new propaganda! Be kind and do your small stuff for your wellness, take care of your home and the earth will be a wonderful place and nothing to worry about….the only thing that is certain is change ..so what if it is about the climate! Stay wise and stay grounded!

Learning from the uncrowned masters!

~ PA ~ Leave a comment

In today’s world, societal compulsions and exposure to harmful media distractions and propaganda laced thoughts invade us every now and then! Well there are advantages and challenges in equal measure- end of the day a knife is a knife- whether you choose to chop vegetables or your sanity really depends on you and end of it ends up defining you!

If you have observed children- yes those tiny cute little things that keep on wailing, giggling, laughing and enjoying at the expense of their parents and grand parents and as they grow; at times teachers- you will find some remarkable survival techniques that they can teach us! No matter how smart you think you are, whether you graduated from Harvard or MIT, all of that becomes a big meaningless attribute the moment you encounter kids in their elements! If you are a good student- kind of a student for life personality- they are the never ending source of teaching you amazing things- until they get exposed to the senseless and screwed up materialistic and consumption driven madness which starts innocently with the first bucket of fries or small tub of ice cream!

Focus and get what you want: This is the first simple lesson that kids can give you. This is also what is taught over and over, year after year, this what your math and science teacher told you and this what your boss would have kept on telling you or yelling at you- depending on what type of love-hate equation you share with that person!

Of course, this maxim gets a lot more complicated as we end up growing and get into the endless traps of prejudices, assumptions and begin to experiment with our limited intelligence (even this is, by auto-bias set at a higher then real value by ourselves!)

So what is the real way of going about this simple thought? Well, do as the kids do, be diligent, be cranky and be driven intrinsically, irrespective of everything around them, no sense of “what will people say”, “what great aunt will think about”, “what dad’s boss and friend’s think about me”.

The fact is kids are superlatively smart (as long as they are unexposed to nonsense around- that starts with so called schooling and then just gets amplified with time) and know to find a way around their problem- which could be as simple as tying up the doll’s hair or fixing the wheel of a car or sketching their image about the world as they feel it and as they see their parents… small things indeed but end up saying a lot!

As we grow up, peer pressure, confirmation bias, misplaced self-identity all of this and all the unwanted muck that society feeds into us- the feeling and emoting and reacting society (not a proactive, responsive and responsible society) drags us further down into chaos to such an extent that we loose the child in us some where along the journey and with it we loose the most original part of us! that’s a loss that keeps us haunting always and then we seek solace in trying to rediscover the same in our offspring (which just adds up to be being another element for a rapidly developing disaster!)

Not to be a sob and go on writing like an obsessed person, to give you the space to think and reflect, the idea here is- the path to know yourself better is to know and reach out to the child in you (if that child is alive and kicking- it’s great) and start viewing life around you through this lens- it may not be an answer to all your problems but certainly will be an answer to quite a few of your unwanted miseries and unwanted headaches that you would have given refuge to in your mental asylum (as in mind!)

Finally, if you are still wondering if the kid in you is there or not- think about the last time you had a crazy, stupid moment and you laughed it off like there was no tomorrow and you did not care a damn about it!

I end here today, and hope you are able to reach out to a few smiles and giggles from here on everyday and take a little load off your burdensome existence!

Feel like yelling or complimenting, do get in touch with me! I am dying to interact with grown up kids!