The only thing that matters…

Well, as you get ready for your weekend during these times, what better way can there be, to urge you to spend you weekend in knowing and discovering that, there are really only a very few things that will matter or that ever matter and it’s always wise and sane to know them and stay anchored along them! Join me here to know what this is all about and why these are really the only things that matter!

Our lives are always filled up completely to the the brim! Irrespective whether that filled cup makes sense to us or not, that’s what we get to handle each day of our lives, that filled cup is at times you work, at times its your family and some other times its your network/ friends/colleagues or all those areas that you tend to stay invested! Well there can be nothing right or wrong about that, each one of us is free to choose what matters and how much priority one gives to which area of ones’ life! The real trick though, is being able to understand and appreciate the depth and quality of the things that you consider to be a priority for yourself and re-check if thats really what you want the cup of your life to be filled up with completely all the time!

Well you may be working for yourself or for someone else, many a times, this space contributes the major part as far as keeping our cup filled up goes, the question here, is what are you really doing? Are you really sure that you want, your work area to dominate and take up so much of volume in the cup that you hold? Is it really worth it? Look around you what are you coming across (not necessarily now, things have been the same way for a long time, only now they are becoming more and more evident!), pay cuts, job losses, realignments, new loyalties, shut downs, all this even as you had your cup filled up and put in your efforts at an individual level and did what was right throughout- no questions asked, yet when the time arrives, you are the first one to face the shock? Why do you think this develops? If this is an area that is so important for your cup? How can it become redundant so sharply and quickly? What have you missed? Hold on your thoughts here and read on as you will be able to decipher the same we we move ahead!

Let’s explore the other aspect which goes on to complete your cup, your network, in few cases this part often takes up more space than the work part, yet few other times, there is a heady cocktail between this space and the work space- at times because of the nature of the work, some other times as an occupational hazard- which if not managed can evaporate both the elements of the work and network form your cup rapidly even before you realise! But wait, how does this network really help you, I mean if say there’s no work, does this come to your rescue- as in not helping you get back the work that has gone missing- but as in being there for you! How many of your networks can stand by you like a mountain- not helping you with the money or the next break- but by just being there? Well if you haven’t got any of these type of mountainous network elements standing by you, then sadly enough, you have just added additional baggage to your cup which occupies space- adds to your wright and actually does nothing to enhance the favour of your cup! So that’s so much about your network element within the cup and yes, you can sure enough weigh and read through other elements like friends and acquaintances through the same lens,the people who say they are there and then disappear as if they never existed! Now let’s move to the final elements of your cup!

The family area which takes up again the decent volume of your cup! Well, now depending on the originality of the contents and how they play out with regards to the flavors and intensity, either you will get a cup with an additional dose of vanilla or have a cocktail of tastes- leaving your mind tipsy and brains fried all the time! Well, since it’s about the part of the family, you too are equally responsible to what you end up getting in the context of tastes that come back to you! If you have been able to provide the right conditions, temperature and ambiance, the flavors will always resonate that and if you haven’t; well might as well prepare for what you have done- whether intentionally or unintentionally! Needless to say this element overrides all other elements in your cup and has the potential to unleash havoc or create great balance depending on its own intrinsic character! But did you notice, even as your cup is so filled up and has all elements that you ever can ask for or think about- you know what’s missing here? Its You!

You may argue, that all other elements in the cup are but an extension of who you are, certainly they are, but they are your extensions- you- perceived by the others and not the real you! This is where people struggle the most and tend to get waylaid easily as they rush through their busy lives holding to their cup of life- not realizing that what they hold and are managing is what the world exactly wants them to be- not necessarily who they really are or want to be! This fundamentally folly is what makes many of the lives around us a struggle- simply because we are living lives- not of what we should be because of who we really are but rather because of who we are perceived to be, by others whom we have ended up collecting around us either by intention or by accident! So is there any way around this or further to this, can anything be done and if yes, whats it?

The only way to go around this and the only wise way, is to ensure that “you” end up filling as much as volume you can in the cup that you hold and let this volume be filled up with “who you really are” and no matter what comes your way- ensure that you don’t loose that element- because once you have anchored yourself to who you are- You will then automatically gravitate and end up attracting other elements of family and network circles based on who you really are and not end up becoming “who others want you to be” (which is possible only when you end up adding others to your cup before you could add yourself)!

You see, once you have developed a refined sense of understanding who you are, what ticks you and what ticks you off, you will be in a better position to connect to spaces, people, things and pursuits in line with what is helping and growing you- intrinsically rather than monetarily. Monetary growth no doubt, is important, but when done and pursued in divergence of all your founding elements of your life- family, network, work and yourself often will end up draining you in the long run and over time instead of making you stronger will end up making you weak and susceptible to the ravages of time and other powerful competition that you face which possibly are growing on virtue of their own internal core alignment!

What really matters is how well you have been able to craft the idea of who you are and how well do you want to execute that idea into the world with allies who are around you as network circles and families because of who you are! Once you have achieved this zen like space, trust me nothing at all will bother you- neither the ups and downs of your business neither the layoffs or the firing of the jobs that you are engaged with, because once you have connected within and know you worth well enough- these out worldly aberrations will not be ever strong enough to slow you down or knock you over!The only thing that matters is, how well you are connected with yourself and that one singular reality is what will help and empower the right things, people and contexts gravitate towards you!

I will leave you here, urging you to grab that cup and reflect on one simple point- How well are you connected within and how much of “you” is present in the cup of life that you hold so dearly close to you at all times!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another article! Until then stay safe and stay wise!

The mystical “frame of context”

Well, as my title suggests, if you were wondering why my new blogs have not been coming in for the last few days, it’s time to start wondering and seeking the answers using this much abused technique of “frame of context”!

Well, friends no matter which nation you belong to and which town or mega city that you come from and how comfortable or uncomfortable you are in the moment, we all have been entrapped at some or other point in time either failing to use or using it with great perfection- “the concept of framing the context” It looks like a trivial aspect of our lives but don’t be fooled it is as important as anything else for your ability to build meaningful contexts around what you obeserve and see goes a long way to alter your psyche and the resulting behavior that comes around either pleasing or screwing up everyone and everything around you!

In an era where we have a chronic ailment of diminishing attention spans and focus, it is just obvious that in many cases, people end up simply missing “the context” altogether – in some cases with dire consequences.

How does this manifest- well if you have ever been part of those dreaded weekly update meetings (whether they are on a Monday, Tuesday or a Friday, really doesn’t matter!) which often end up with more issues and agony discussed rather coming up with solutions and answers- people end up leaving those social gatherings with more confusion and more new questions instead of finding answers to the already existing challenges- this often happens when context goes incognito! I am certainly not suggesting all meetings end up this way- but if you were to compute the number of meetings that happen around the world across offices and across levels and if you wanted to assume that all these are meeting their objectives of the meetings- well then our world would be a different place by the time I finish writing this article! So now you may want to ask me to stop whining and suggest a meaningful way around this- well that what we do from here!- since the context is set!

Like I mentioned in my previous blogs- in a way the context of our times is hyper-dynamic– for everyone that we deal with and everything that we do! You walk into the office- all geared up in the morning and the junior colleague (who was your best pal until last evening) has suddenly become your worst nightmare- courtesy a major goof up at work which has got your client and two levels above you fired up and going for your jugular- So now what just happened- in a matter of minutes- contexts are fleeting – one aberration (possibly beyond control) has got everyone into a vicious circle and zone of calibrating their engagements with each other for an act which has already occurred and importantly which may or may not happen in the future with similar severity! It is in times like these- the need arises to rush in and “frame the context” and let everyone know what it was and because of which – whatever shit happened – did happen! You may call this as retrospective problem fixing or morgue analysis (as the incident has already occurred with no way to salvage the incident- the impact may or may not be alterable!) but the necessity is very much real and much required to mitigate further damage (which would be completely unwarranted!)

This singular act of being able to decipher about what led to what has happened and what must be done to ensure that a similar environment is not created or offered (because of which the probability of this event getting triggered again may increase) is the essence of framing the context to events and people at workplace to have a truly sensible and meaningful scenario of team dynamics- certainly other variable factors will kick-in depending on what the organisation does, type of skill sets and personalities working at a given place- but as I said the whole approach is through offering solutions by framing the context well!

On the other levels of engaging with people out of work engagements- the personal sphere- often people miss out the “context of the statements or acts said and done” which – if you are an alive and kicking human- would have experienced aplenty- both to your advantage and disadvantage with equal measure! The only way to correct this is to give time and when it comes to building strong engagements with people- it is all about staying with them in the context that they wish you to remain and ensuring that the contextual frame is around that engagement- a slip through a word or deed which nudges you towards the edges of the contextual frame is just enough to have you ejected completely from the consideration set of the other person (don’t forget we live in times where choices are many and no one really cares or has time to do an evaluation based on meritocracy and none of your laurels will come in handy!) So the way forward…

Well keep a few simple tricks up your sleeve as you navigate the minefield of life and you go on with people and work engagements! Firstly engage only as much as you need to- limit this and you will save yourself from all the unnecessary melodrama and headache- the fewer the people and things that you manage -lesser are the frames that you need to juggle around with for managing and monitoring the dynamic contexts all the time with your fragile frame!

Next, be honest- about yourself to begin with and what you do and be a giver and stay away from the taker mindset! Ensure your frames do not end up becoming windows of your greed and slyness to meet and reach personal objectives and gratifications- this will just burn you out eventually sooner or later and leave you completely messed up- intellectually and otherwise with s sense of stagnation which will not be a very happy place to be in!

Finally always ensure that you have a grip through a strong and refined moment to moment awareness about what you deal with– whether people or work- ensure requisite ownership is displayed and is visible– remember- the trick is to ensure that your frame is also acceptable to the people involved with the context or to the activities and the people who all are going to be affected by the event!

A right frame to the context of your life- people and events around you- in a dynamic manner which is managed and monitored well- with reasonable acceptance from all those involved will help keep away a lot of meaningless conversations, conflicts and spooky thoughts that originate from failing frames and fallen contexts!

Spend some quality time with yourself and as you do so; think about your frames of context that you hold for everything that you and everyone around you! What is that you are staring at? What is coming back tom you- ease and happiness or discomfort and anxiety?

I leave you with these thoughts for now and promise you will be back soon with another interesting piece as we race ahead towards the festive season! Stay blessed and stay wise and hold your frames high and right!