Tag: empowering

The oncoming Leadership pandemic!

~ PA ~ 2 Comments

Among many lessons that 2020 has brought ti us, one important one is about the fragility of leadership even as establishing the point why it is so scared and important! It is between these spaces the seeds of the next pandemic can be found and this one relates to the leadership pandemic and how well we are able to steer through this one will largely decide- as individuals or societies whether we progress or regress and whatever we choose to do- how fast or slow will that onset be! Join me here as we take a quick look through this concept and see what this is all about and what is that we can do about it- of we can do something about it!

Needless to say there is a whole lot of art and science to leadership, but what is equally important is the fact that neither can leadership be enacted in vacuum and nor can leadership be made available on demand! The whole of 2020 has seen the world over inter-personal engagement dynamics change- some of these may be welcome and few others may have been not that so welcoming but irrespective whichever one you have witnessed or have been part of there certainly would have been one certain casualty of all this disruption and that would have been the Leadership aspect!

Leadership was and never will be about recorded video logs of company CEOs, PR generated perfected newsletters and “From the CEO’s desk” communication”, simply because no one really gives a damn to any of that and none of that really matters! What alone matters to every soul on the team is the simple pointed question-what is my role in this changing space and how long am I needed here and for what! This is yet a very smaller instance around just the communication disasters that leaders worldwide have engaged with their colleagues and team members over the last few months! There are far more graver ramifications which perhaps have already been unleashed and the results of these will be needless to say more impactful, visible and played out in the open- through failing products, services, and organisations in the days and months that follow us in 2021! The primary reason for all that to set in, is not only the failure of the existing leadership mechanisms within organisations, but also because there are more than required number of organisations which stand out as brilliant examples of colossal organisational incompetence especially related to the critical space of Leadership and this in turn sets off a chain reaction- driving the firm and the people therein into a never ending death spiral of fading and failing leadership across levels- one level at a time!

What the pandemic has done is, that it has effectively stripped away the whole corporate world of all the necessary and unnecessary camouflage in one go! Needless to say, like a chameleon who has lost it’s colors, every element in that corporate set up lies exposed like a striking contrast to the chosen background- which makes it all the easier for the the other chameleons (read competitions) and the enticed viewers (read clients/ customers) all the more aware and clear of what really lies beneath the hood and thereby taking away all that built your charm, energy and warmth that would have ever been there in that ongoing engagement! Not only that even within the set ups of the myriad departments and organisational hierarchies, it has been now then ever before (thanks to the pandemic) that reality has set in and for once people know- who really works hard, smart or not at all and all those time-sheets have been begun to offer productive data which is far more meaningful now then ever it was earlier! In all this churn, there are casualties, many simply because they happened to be at the right place at the wrong time and few whose luck had eventually ran out- again the Pandemic to the rescue! Either ways what has now eventually evolved is a scenario where there are a few leaders left at the top, few people at the bottom and a middle level surge- where everyone seems to be herded together- with very few among them having the competence, knack or the finesse to lead that flock as the time moves ahead! But you may ask why should this happen? Well let me explain with a simple example!

For all those of you, who have spent some time being alert in the corporate world- a few things would have been absolutely clear- there are groups, group-isms, favorites and teams that work and teams that don’t work, leaders who work and who don’t so on and so forth! Before the pandemic hit, each organisation no matter how large or small it was, had the space within to navigate and allow a certain permissible and width of non-performances simply because it would be too costly, difficult and tenacious to monitor and track that- the effort wold have been more costly than the result of that observation! Hence earlier when colleagues said they had “Lunch meeting” you were never sure how much of that was Lunch and how much of that was a meeting! You never knew how much of meeting time was really required and how much was taken up! Before the pandemic you always needed the large conference room – full of people with additional chairs drawn in and tea and coffee raining all over the conference tables within the maze of wires and cables- only for everyone to come out of that conference room- agreeing on one thing that had to meet again! It is in instances like these that pandemic had eventually ended up being a blessing in disguise!

As soon as organisations, got their act together and established process and policies for the new world standard of the “WFH” (Work from Home) they began to realise and see their folly! Vendor expenses started to go down- no more travel, no more endless headache of tea/coffee, canteens, food orders so on and so forth, worrying about the light’s been left on, that AC left on – noting of all that at all! Furthermore if that was not enough, now you had a perfect chance to track and trim performance to the minute! No tea breaks, smoke breaks, no saying , “I was there”, “I was in a meeting”, all those long meaningless and conclusion-less meetings suddenly started to get productive under 30 minutes- simply because now you had to write the agenda in the subject line with the expected outcomes by the end of the meet (God alone knows why people had to wait for a pandemic to just get this bit done!)! Another fallout of this, unwitting expose of performance and competence/incompetence needless to say would be the head rolls, doing away with people and processes that do not matter anymore simply because there is nothing forthcoming from those areas in the Now or in the times ahead! This is the space from where the real onset of the Leadership pandemic starts!

Now that there are a handful of “resourceful leaders” having done away with “the ones’ not needed” and with middle layers of the organisation being told decisively that they hold the key to the future (not sure whose- theirs or the organisations) and not many junior level positions being retained or replenished (so that the mid level takes upon the incompetence of the higher ups and makes up for the loss of productivity due to the lack of resources at the lower levels!) the game is all set to usher in failing and fatalistic Leadership Incompetence! Why! Well, simply because organisations, as we speak right now are replete with doers’ they may be great no doubt but if you don’t have the visionaries who behold the vision of the future to lead and the support of the enthusiastic and curios generations that er to follow, every attempt to try and do something different or do the same thing better will fail- always and each time! This is how the leadership pandemic will manifest and play out as severe and un-treatable incompetence- simply because the real leaders are no longer steering the ship and with amateurs at the wheels who think it is easy to swim by reading a book, well the outcomes are almost always predictable and far way from the desired ones’ that an organisation would ever want to have!

This mindless rejig of organisations, by doing away with people and process without applying detailed thought and process and furthermore trying to expect the mid level to rise to the occasion ( at the same expense/cost and provide an output of the higher level!) and deliver what the seniors couldn’t with ever diminishing support from below and around, well it’s anyone’s’ guess what we are setting ourselves up for and what kind of leaders will emerge- if they ever do from these scary shadows of corporate dumbness! You may still want to present you case citing, why should thins be a problem- if there able people at the mid-level then why shouldn’t they rise and deliver! Well, I am sure there are and there will be- the problem is not about they being able to deliver- the problem will arise in the space of “how the deliver” well you can bake a cake as long as you learn how bake one, but to come up with the finest of them, you need to know the intricacies of the process and those magic moments where things begin to happen for taking that bread from the ordinary league to the premium league and this is what is missing at the mid – level- simply because the earlier masters would have forgotten to handover that secret key- either intentionally or unintentionally and without that no matter how many time you bake- your cake will yet remain ordinary! The story of Leadership pandemic is the story of rise of incompetence to further complicate things simply because the original masters are no longer on the scene!

If you look around you, you would have by now experienced some fall in the level and professionalism in the services that you seek, may be that engagement centre, the communication tonality, it could be the lacking warmth or simply renewed alignments on the agreed way of engagement- whichever way you are able to perceive what you do- the fact is that all of this is emerging out of the ever increasing leadership deficit, which is doing nothing but accelerating the onset of the leadership pandemic! If you thought this was limited only to the corporate world, think again! Just take a moment to pause and reflect on what can and will happen when this leadership pandemic sets in powerful offices which lead nations and societies! That is when the real ramifications will be felt and hit hard and fast and needless to say they will not be even an ounce pleasing to anyone for that matter! You would end up societies and nations having dumb rules and even dumber ways to manage that ever increasing dumbness within and around! Want proof?- I am sure, wherever you live, you would have heard about night curfews to manage the virus! There are many such subtle examples of dumb decisions coming up from powerful offices, for only one reason- the leaders (who are supposedly advising) are the ones’ who are part of the leadership pandemic and even as they are failing fast, they are preparing a whole new nightmare of even dumber people coming into succeed! So what’s the way ahead, can anything be done!

If you ask me, the only way to fix a systemic problem is either to set up a completely new system sans the garbage of the old ones’ or start rectifying existing systems at multiple fracture points and repairing them in tandem and ensuring that the right people are always at the right places ( no matter what their price tag) for quality has a prices and unless that is paid, rest assured all of us are on a one way ticket to a hellish dumb future! perhaps the only saving grace about Leadership is that it has a core intrinsic value- something that can’t be wiped off or taken away and if you are a leader in the real essence of that word then the chances are that you would be among the few people standing between complete chaos and method to the madness scenarios that we collectively look forward to face in the future!

I leave you with these thoughts for now, urging you to stay ever vigilant and practice what you can by being the Leader that you can be for yourself and the others around you so that we are able to stall the onset of the forthcoming leadership pandemic at an individual and a collective levels alike! Feel like you have already experienced instances of failing leadership- have heart- if you have noticed it and have been able to discern it- chances are you have the way around or over it to stall and overpower it!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one, until then stay vigilant about this leadership pandemic!

Embrace “Minimalistic Opulence”.

~ PA ~ Leave a comment

This quick one is to share with you thoughts on what I call as, “minimalistic opulence” ; which in turn can bring welcome changes to your life and even in the lives the people around you! Join me here as we try to unravel and decipher what this is all about and how it manifests and what are the tell tale signs of minimalism with opulence. As we skim through this, we also understand why this matters and how this can empower individuals to do what is possible in their own realm! So here we go!

The challenges that we see around the world have fundamentally to do a lot with the natural (yes natural) tendency of humans to hoard and hold! You see, as we evolved, through the ages, human settlements have flourished and perished on account of having and not having- now what those elements were changed from time to time- in the earlier days, historic times it was as simple as sustainable and on going food shelter and safety (from the wild and fellow humans in a minor way) but as we progressed and settlements began to change into civilizations and rules and regulations of societies began to come in- everything else changed, but the problem of the people on the fringe- the people who in these societies still have to wage a war to just ensure they have a shelter over and food on the plate! But within these same societies you have people who have all what they would ever need and continue to hold on and hoard on still more and more and this is the setting which makes a compelling case for embracing “minimalistic opulence”

I am not asking you to be opulent in a minimalist way, rather I am urging you to stay a minimalist and stay opulent ( not being miserly or frugal) and this is perhaps the only way that society can accelerate resource re-distribution, re-allocation and re-prioritize what the society needs and how much of it! Sure enough, you don’t have to be a billionaire to do this, but every action that you take, just by being who you are, you will end up transforming the ways that billionaires probably want to sun or ruin the societies as the case may be and just one intervention from you- will set the clock in motion to create enough ripples to bring about changes that you want in the society that you are in! It certainly will depend on what’s been held up and what’s been hoarded in a society, but rest assured a slight nudge from your end and walking away from that party- will soon enough destabilize the social frameworks as you begin to embrace this route of “minimalistic opulence”. Don’t be mistaken this not any socialist rant, it rather is a way to empower individuals so that they can keep shifting the balance of a society in a dynamic manner which discourages hoarding and promotes the idea of “minimalist opulence”. So what is this really? How can we practise it? How can we see it manifest around us? Is it viable enough? Read on!

Since this is a blog, I am going to keep it short and to the point! Whichever society you live in if there’s any way to stop the skewing of opportunities and resources within the context of the frame- it will have to start by knowing when “enough is enough” about everything and anything that we do and is around us! How many clothes are enough, how much travel is enough, how much money is enough? Well you see, you can come with different answers and don’t mistake there’s nothing wrong in wanting more or less- that all depends on who You are and what your aspirations and chosen path of life is- the real issue is- is the society ready and able to give you what you choose? Because if the social frame doesn’t allow you to (by making or promoting conditions so), nothing will matter, whether it is the extra dollar you want to make or those millions of dollars that you aspire for! This is where Minimalistic Opulence again comes to your rescue! How? Read on!

To begin with, as I said earlier, it is not about frugality or being a miser or being a Robin Hood to equally reallocate wealth to everyone! No, that’s not how it works! It all starts at the very foundation of everything, and that foundation is “You”. Once you are able to know yourself well enough-then you know what is that you need and what is that you aspire for! These are two different and fundamentally important things! When you don’t get what you need- you have an existential crisis- but when you don’t get what you aspire for- you still exist but don’t get to live the way you aspired for! The whole process of “minimalism with opulence” gets played out in the space of your needs!

It all starts by you getting to know who “you” are and once you have done that, then the only thing remains is to arrange all that you “need” on the canvas of your life. These needs can be big or small , easy or challenging , possible in your social frame or may be not- what matters is this is what you “need” to have and this is what will make “you” complete and this is the essence of social opulence! Once you reach this space, decisions as trivial as, “how many clothes in your closet”, to “which car” to “what profession” or “which vacation” all of these begin to get answered and go a long way to de-clutter your life and thereby ensure that at all times your inner circle of life is always filled and complete with(as much as possible) things and people that go on to make your “needs” and this is what “minimalist opulence” is all about! It is about knowing yourself, your needs and then living a life pursuing what matters and is critical to your existence! So what about aspirations?

Aspirations are important, no one is asking you to do away with your ambition or aspirational attitude to be better and ahead than where you are right now! What is important is that these aspirations have to be allowing your need horizon to expand naturally and in a congruent way so that even as you grow and thrive in the times ahead, you do not succumb to the hoarding or holding mentality and get drawn into the mad race of wanting beyond your needs- immediate and long term both! Let me explain this, say you are a doctor and doing well and everything that you ever wanted is there around and in your life- one fine morning you get an offer to own a hospital- your own hospital and with a little stretch you know you will be able to own it- Now the question is how natural will that step be to expand the horizons of your need and how much of that will manifest in an non-divergent way! You see owning the hospital is one thing and being able to run it like a business is a different ball game altogether- that’s why not all Doctor’s make great surgeons and neither are all of them great administrators! There are very few and rarest of the rare who are able to blend in the best of the both worlds and it is eventually these set of doctors who end up running the biggest and the best medical and healthcare facilities- simply because their aspirations melted into being their needs with the passage of time and they allowed that to manifest and evolve slowly and in way that allowed them to practise and embrace the change!

As long as your aspirations are aligned to your current needs and hold the ability to be transformed into the needs of tomorrow, you are all set to live your aspirations; provided the social frame permits that! The moment your aspirations are synced out of your need, you will begin to get consumed in the war of wanting more and holding to what you have (simply because you will find it difficult to understand how long what you have will remain!). This is what leads to never ending strife, chaos and ambiguity and often people end up spending entire life time trying to pursue aspirations that are in direct conflict of their needs and which perhaps never have the potential of transforming themselves into becoming needs in the times ahead! This is why “minimalism with opulence” helps, it helps to significantly de-clutter all that will not serve you now or in the times ahead and hence leaving you with more time and energy to pursue what matters, whether it is related to the realm of your needs or your aligned aspirations so that the journey stays congruent and converges to present you with empowering frames through the moments of your journey on an ongoing basis!

The word “opulence” you may be wondering why is it here, well opulence is all about being suave to know what really matters and how does that serve you in the now and in the times ahead! This frame of opulence alongside minimalism creates magic to help de-clutter in a rapid and aggressive manner all that one must!

The moment you start to want less, aspire less ( in line with what your trim level is) you will find you start to do a great service by buying less, wanting less, spending less and thereby no more holding back, unwanted hoarding of resources (whatever type they may be) and importantly you live a life- moment to moment- with greater focus and depth which again brings amazing clarity to build empowering moments which serve you in your now and in your oncoming tomorrow!

I leave you with thoughts, urging you to think around this space and embrace the frame of practicing “minimalistic opulence” to have an empowering now and a resilient tomorrow!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Until then Stay Safe and be in the now!

Why Inspiration and Motivation stalls.

~ PA ~ Leave a comment

Being an author, rather being into writing, speaking and coaching, one striking thing that I have always come across is that people are just as fine as they should be and each one is good at a few things and great at few others and a genius at one thing! More often than not majority of us, end up wandering away from that unique “one thing” that holds the key for us to realize that zenith of who we can be from who we are. Somewhere around all this hectic and urgent business of trying to know oneself, people begin to get flooded with a sea of books, talks, podcasts, workshops and what not all promising to bring about radical change, promise that they will feel inspired and will gain a new sense of motivation and so on and so forth, but the fact remains that only a tiny fraction ends up being where they ever wanted to be- without any of these tools and techniques- some trained some not-so-trained and few inspired, few motivated but all of them driven by purpose and an objective! So the question here is does inspiration/ motivation really work? If yes, why do they weave the magic only on a few? Why isn’t every person in that workshop proportionally successful, if all of them got the same tools, wisdom and opportunity? What makes motivation click for a few and why do some people succeed even if they are uninspired? Join me here as we try to unravel, how and why this whole business of inspiration, motivation works and doesn’t!

Since time in memorial, people have always looked up to someone- either it was their Gods’, their spiritual leaders, their protectors ( Rulers, Kings, Queens, Emperors), as the new age arrived, people of eminence too started to be looked upon, studied & admired for they seemed to have answers for questions that plagued humanity in the contexts of those times! The more recent modern times have seen people seek stories from the field of sports, arts, theater, music, films and many other diverse areas- choose an area that you can think about and you will find this space of people wanting to be inspired and who are either in the process or already aligned to that one source! In all this pursuit of looking up to people, there’s only one real mission, that of seeking a common ground with regards to something related to either skills, competencies, abilities, aspirations or craft which provide that ray of hope to drive through the challenging times that an individual must overcome to surge ahead and make their mark!

The whole process of Inspiration is a fallacy of the prevailing social biases and social compulsions, sure enough there would be genuine contenders, I am not denying that any bit, but if you see what drives or what majority of humanity uses the word “inspiration” for is to either relate to someone, feel a sense of belonging for someone or thing or just try to align their social acceptability by falling in line with what the majority of social behaviour seems to be! In the context of the recent times, people all over the world, say they feel inspired by healthcare workers, well that’s fine only to that extent, because half of this inspired world, doesn’t give a damn to the guidelines issued by their inspirational health care workers and end up jeopardize everyone in the game that is being played out now!

The other immediate cousin of inspiration, called motivation too faces the same challenge, you see, people are always (as they claim) motivated and self-driven about themselves ( that is a good part) , the real problematic area is, “motivated about what or by whom and for what?” A lot of human tragedies are nothing else but a result of these misplaced motivations and uninspiring inspirational stuff! So you may, now want to ask me, so what’s the point? Well, the point is really simple, Inspiration and Motivation, stall, become ineffective , not because they have a problem or the beholders who personify it have a problem, the problem lies within each one of us, who end up getting inspired and motivated by the right things at the wrong times or the wrong things at the even more wrong times! Let me explain!

Let me take you back to your early childhood! Remember, “Twinkle Twinkle little stars..” that wonderful nursery rhyme! Believe it or not, that perhaps has been the very nascent seed that has propelled many careers of people in the areas of aerospace! This is what pure and unadulterated Inspiration is like! It connects with you at the level of your soul and nudges your mind to follow that essence and undertake that journey, no matter how easy or difficult to achieve what it must to live that moment of being among the stars either seeing them out of an airline cockpit window or seeing them through the space modules high above the earth’s atmosphere!

Likewise if you think about that school sports competition that you won for the first time, someone or something nudged you and your team mates that day, and for that reason you played the game of your life (until that moment) and ensured each one of your team mates did and thereby translating those moments into a memorable victory! That is what puritan motivation looks like, no prejudice, no information overload, just a nudge, perhaps that motivation was a treat by a group of friends or the name of your team mates being called out during the school assembly, or perhaps receiving that shiny medal- whatever that it could have been, it was just a nudge- at the right time, at the right place for the right thing!

So you, see whether it is that inspiration that you seek or that urge to be motivated that you have- as long as you try to seek that by looking at others, the chances are you will end up complicating your matters more, then solving them- especially when you tend to start focusing on the person, and not on the content!

In a lot of cases when people go to workshops, seminars, events buying those valuable tickets and tables at the show, waiting anxiously to be drenched in the seeming elixir of truth that the presenter is about to share, what they end up actually doing is that, they end up buying some hope and optimism instead of inspiration or motivation!

The reason why inspiration/motivation stalls and fails to work its magic is not because it doesn’t work, but rather because that piece is simply not aligned to the contextual reality of who you are! Let me explain! You may sure enough get lucky to witness some “A” grade speaker, who is renowned to motivate speak, but the fact is unless the speech, the examples and the proportionality of the challenges that you face are not aligned, neither that talk will motivate you nor will you know something that you weren’t aware of! It will all end up being the first row ticket to a one act play! It is vital that you find a common ground, a connect which is based on proportionality of contexts for inspiration/motivation to work its magic upon you, else you will either be left indifferent, ignorant or confused more than ever before!

Another factor is the construct of who you are and what the contextual realities of your world are! You may get lucky and you may really get that vital inspiration or motivation, perhaps that great speech, or that great book, or that sudden incident, something right may just cross your path and also the timing could be as great as you ever desired, but unless and until, you aren’t constructed to embrace all that coming your way and unless your contextual settings – the kind of society, the social norms, social viability aren’t in place, even the greatest of opportunity will slip away from your grasp and in many cases, you may actually end up passing that idea to someone less inspired and less motivated, perhaps less deserving, simply because there was a framework available to deploy and act upon once that seed was made available! Say you always had a vision to provide education for the economically challenged kids- but if your local laws don’t allow you to raise the funds and run the show the way you want to run and manage it, chances are your idea will eventually get picked upon and played upon in some other society where there is a favorable climate to implement and execute! Needless to say the execution may not be that impactful or effective as you would have planned simply because the other person may not be even as half inspired or motivated to do! This is a classic case where the right motivation/inspiration comes at the right time but in the wrong frame and you have perhaps no other choice but to let it pass!

Finally you have those instances where these very rare and gifted individuals who never give a damn to anything that’s unfolding around them! The reasons could vary, at one end of the spectrum you may have that eccentric artist, who likes to lock away and keep doing what pleases irrespective of who says what, or that politician who likes to ruin a nation under the garb of running it! This space is the pinnacle of human behaviour and intent, above and beyond all inspiration and motivation, simply because this is the impregnable fortress of the self and this is the area where only one maxim works- “My way or the Highway”! It is in these by-lanes of self serving, self-centered personalities and human attributes that a lot of inspiration and motivation is wasted and what’s more damaging is that this time around the people who come forward to share and care end up going back with bruises and small patched of self-doubt no matter how inspirational of motivational they are!

My final words, well, inspiration and motivation like everything else will work only when there is a human connect to it, nothing that has progressed humanity has ever worked in isolation! As long as there is a conformity of alignment between the inspired, the being inspired and the contextual settings around both of them, things will work and work remarkably well, nudge one element in that equation and you may end up the Motivators and the Internationalists of today needing a master class on their craft!

I leave you with these thoughts here, urging you to nudge yourself and know whether you Inspire, get inspired or are you indifferent?

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Until then stay safe and stay wise!

Don’t bite the dog back!

~ PA ~ Leave a comment

Even before you think about it, here’s my disclaimer, I love pets,cats, dogs, all animals except humans as pets- because humans being who they are, are simply un-tamable! Join me here to know why it is important not to bite back at what bites you!

The past few years, the time that we are transiting now and the few years that lie head of us, all have and probably will witness an ever growing approach of humanity- which is will be something like- you did this so I do this! Well, as long as this remains to be a child’s play date- it seems fine- that too when it is within the limits! When adults start to behave that way- as they run nations, corporations and to a certain extent their families and themselves- well society is all but set up for one disaster unto the next- because everyone’s speaking and no one is listening!

If Industrial revolution, made us more crazy workers, operational wizards and business tycoons were created from the cradles of that system, it also simultaneously held on to the values of humanity, collaboration, community care and so on and so forth, sure enough few of the social value were attained only after some struggle across different societies of the world. But essentially during this era, which lasted well until the early 80’s, even as human society made advancements technologically in almost every sphere that one could think about- humanity was still able to hold on to the proverbial human glue of compassion and care- perhaps not spread equally everywhere, but it was visible and could entrap any human who ventured too close so that even the odd care free souls could be knitted into this web of humanity!

Something changed as we embraced the dawn of the digital economy- the human connect- and the need of human interaction, the way we knew it and we should have continued it- changed forever- devices, gadgets, screens and automated messages began to replace that essential warm shake hand, that hug and that pat on the back- with the whole world of emoticons that you can possibly think of! But hasn’t the digital revolution eased our life? Sure it has, but like with every technology and every tool- as long as you apply that technology or tool at hand to create something meaningful it helps, the moment you want to abuse it, you will be harmed! A hammer that is used to shape molten metal to create metallic art forms, while that same hammer thrown at someone- could mean a certain walk to the hospital! You may say, that’s all fine, now what- what’s biting back and how? Read on!

Unlike the earlier revolutions that humanity witnessed, none has changed societies the way the digital revolution has, it has disconnected societies even as it has connected the world! As humans we have lost the value, the color and the intensity of the interactions that we had amongst us, before the dawn of the digital age- now while that may be a blessing for a few, it has undoubtedly turned out to be a curse for the millions of people across societies! You see, unlike the earlier times, even as people accepted and embraced the social divide between the rich and the poor, diverse opinions, the working class and the employment providers, there was never an unwarranted urge or drive to rush towards being a success story and make it the sole purpose even if that meant trampling upon anything and everyone that stood between the individual and the opportunity! So why did this change? How has the society of today, encouraged this, why has a digital society which should have been connected become seemingly so dangerously polarized and complicated where every other person seems to be hounding the other!

What digitization, has done is, it has played over our minds to begin with and later on as we progressed and advanced, with the cost of staying connected being cheaper than buying a nutritious meal, our malnourished minds have happily lapped up and consumed everything that is served over the screens- sense and non-sense in equal measure and needles to say- all that seems to be too easy to be true is readily believed – that is what the human brain is programmed to do! You see, as long as your brain is sure that you are not getting killed, it doesn’t matter which post you liked or which share you did or what you said or which snap you uploaded! It’s only when regulatory frame around has started to get more meaningful that now some minds have started to think before they rush to act over the digital space!

This reckless human behavior is now, not limited to the online space and this un- serving approach has trickled down into the way we engage offline too and the results are everywhere to see- road rage, outbursts of anger, bouts of fist fight, mob mentality, believing that might is right, failure to listen, connect, engage, listen and collaborate- because more and more time spent on the online world has gone to reinforce the belief that Alone is good, I am fine, perhaps the best! So when real life encounters with real smart people begin to manifest, the online perceptions about people engagement begin to fade away and one quickly is able to see the gaping void within oneself! This is where shit happens and that urge to start biting back at everything and everyone around!

People, not all, but a decent number have now reached a point where for them to define what is normal, is a task unto itself and the time will not be too far, when videos will have to played teaching people the right way to shake hands and communicate to re-engage with other people! Even as this starts to get corrected, it is vital for people and the society to learn and understand that, the problems of today that we have manifested are more within each one of us and unless those are addressed, no matter what and how much we do to help the people around nothing will work- simply because this habit of biting back- snapping at others, has to first be eliminated! The habit of reacting in equal measure to everything that comes ones’ way is the founding premise which has been perhaps the biggest curse coming in form the online space! The whole thinking process of doing “tit for tat” and mimicking to gain popularity, support (read social acceptance) are all but manifestations of the biting back problem! So you may, want to ask, fine so what can be done about it?

Well to begin with, it starts by having some wise self- discipline, say no to gadgets and say yes to people- while at home, when driving, while at the station, while commuting, throw away that screen and start to practise and rehearse the lost art of engaging with people- those chats, discussions, healthy opinions and those closing smiles and hand shakes- well that is what is needed to ensure that we regain our human aspect of the social fabric that we have and once this is done- the tendency to snap back and hit back at people for every opinion they say, every comment they make will be managed to a great extent- and to begin with even you may find how powerful this simple re-engagement trick is! The more people begin to connect and engage with people than gadgets, the lesser will be the instances of wanting to hit back, lash out, react, and comment on things and matters what others say and a better judgement will prevail and sane discernment will be applied to engage in what matters and all that doesn’t hold any value will be ignored or let go! Once this happens, as the brain is freed from the burden of unwarranted hit backs and episodes of mercurial swings- it begins to go back to its creative frame and ushering in a new promise for a better tomorrow for the individual and the society as a whole as more and more people embrace this approach to re-engage with humanity!

The only way to course correct anything, as individuals or as a society is to deep dive within and respond and not react- each time we end up reacting rather than responding we are just preparing for the next show down of who snaps first! and trust me the world has too many offerings around for you to excel at that! The real trick is observing these, know where they are and than ignoring all that crap, keep moving to achieve what you must through minimal conflict and maximum deliberation!

A few final words, no matter how mad we are at the dog, because it barked at us or probably tried to bite us, we never bite it back! This is what is at the foundation of who we are, each time we forget this and end up lashing out at everyone around us and start to bark at everything that is unfolding around- we just end up trying to bite that dog back and doing so we end up becoming more of an animal than being a human!

I leave you here with these thoughts, urging you to wear your smile, light up that warmth and when you have to choose between people and devices- go for people- you may not always be pleased- but you will always learn and that learning is critical to make you wise enough to either write the next book and or have some new context on the screens that you hold so dearly!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another article! Until then, stay wise, stay safe and yes, don’t bite the dog back- whatever that dog personifies as, in your life!