Don’t stress(for nothing!).

This is not a pep talk article, about trying to give you ten tips to wish away your stress, rather this is about trying to simplify what stress really is, rather than what is ts thought to be and possibly explore what can we do about it, if we can really do something about it! So join me here and let’s simplify the formless shadow of stress!

Have you ever had the privilege of being part of a group of kids discussing their challenges? yes kids- those 3-4-5-6 year old who discuss amongst themselves and figure their way around either by themselves or with help from their buddies! Have you ever seen them talk to each other using words like “stress”? Consider this, you have this bunch of kids who are given a new jig-saw puzzle to fix, with no context and no background- what happens- well kids being kids- they will try for sometime, eventually as it makes no sense and if there’s no reward for what they are doing, they will simply put those jig-saw blocks to some other creative use and that’s where that will end! None of those kids are going to bed sulking and thinking about what that was, why it could not be done and so on and so forth! But these very kids, as they start to grow, they come under the influence of directed thinking (you see directed thinking is not about helping them think- it is about making kids thinking in a particular way that suits the broader social fabric of a society) and this is where the problems begin to manifest!

Humanity has always been lead and rewarded by curiosity and that innate value gets wiped off as modern day societies start to enforce directed thinking principles which conform to social biases and standards and don’t allow any kind of eccentric attributes, sure enough the ones’ that pose a threat to the social fabric should be curbed and managed, but with that approach we also end up loosing all hope of developing geniuses around us!– If you ever thought that great geniuses of any field were not eccentric- well it’s time you picked up and read one of those biographies to know the facts! The essence there was that their curiosity and eccentricity to a specific pursuit was always upheld and encouraged and that what led to innovation and discovery, which has gone a long way to share who we are today- as Individuals and collectively as societies the world over!

Once kids are programmed to think the way society wants, these kids loose all resilience that childhood would have naturally given to them. As they grow up they keep getting pushed from one scenarios of “what you must do and not” to the next and that shit also continues even as they begin to work and keep moving up the corporate world as they keep getting successful! You may be wondering how come they keep getting successful if they lack curiosity and ingenuity- well you see 95% of corporate world is all about directed work- the Big Boss shares the big plan and we have an army of all other smaller bosses and laborers working on that- while each one of them thinking that it is their thought!- If there was ever a personification of a hypnotized work force- that is the era that we are living in! This is why , when you see how things get played around, they rise and fall every time “The Big Boss” gets it right or screws up! So where is the stress coming in all of this?

Well the invisible stress is always there, as the born intelligent kids get to high schools and colleges, where they are again and again battered down to stop being creative and think the way they are ought to and furthermore as they land “The job” of their dreams they are further indoctrinated through the fabled ” corporate induction” which is nothing more than a kinder way of saying, “This is what we do, This is the way we do it, Either take it or leave it”! So, when does this stress begin to show up? Well it shows up every now and then when life throws questions in your face, where you don’t have templated responses- like the times when you are asked to go ahead with your first surgery , or that first assault if you are a cop, or that first fire rescue, the first time you asked someone out for date! See, stress starts to build and this stress is not building because you aren’t able or you are incompetent, but this stress builds up because for the first time you are in direct conflict between the way you have been hammered down to think and how you naturally think and feel about the reality that is staring right down back to you! In that moment of truth- you are evaluating your choices of being safe, alive and making it back in one piece with a result that works in your favour or in the favour of greater good! Since this is something that no business school or practise teaches- stress creeps in and this is how it starts to play havoc with you, each time from your first time! Whenever you come to the cross road where you don’t have a templated solution- you will start to feel that stress race up to you- not because you are dumb or can’t handle a situation developing in front- but the years of “programmed thinking” has been made your default thinking style to seek answers from around and not within and unless you don’t switch back your default to within- like you always did when you were a kid- stress is going to get the better of you- it doesn’t matter whether you make a few hundred dollars or a few millions dollars, unless you don’t begin to think and feel from within and learn to junk away programmed and directed thinking escaping stress is going to remain a very tough thing to do! So how doe we go about it?

Stress is not the absence of competence, rather it is the presence of it and importantly the inability to be able to deploy it- in the contextual settings that an individual finds themselves in! Each one of us are magicians in or own way- we are gifted at something to ensure that a task assigned to us, gets done the natural way which comes to us easily- unfortunately that is not how the real world works- from the call centre to the White House press briefing everything is scripted- some for the right reason and few others for the most stupid reasons! Consider this, how simple it would be to empower people to greet and speak to customers who call in the natural way which allows people to spread their personality and warmth as they speak- rather make them narrate the script written- the way it has been- even as the callers and the narrator have no clue what that is and than you have the timer to mark you off that call, simply because you were too slow or fast- I mean who really works that way! It is instances like this and many more- that go on to add stress to the people at all ends of that kind of a scripted approach- which does nothing more than taking away form our true strengths and puts us in a territory where we are completely disadvantaged and we are supposed to switch our thinking to a lower level of “do this and than that and do it this way” kind of a lever!

Given, this is a blog, will share a few final words before we wrap this piece up, stress is not about your competence, abilities and who you are, stress is nothing more or less than your inability to cope with the ways of directed thinking- the more creative you are as person- the chances are that you will always tend to experience higher levels of stress no matter what vocation you choose to pursue! Some areas of work do have in built stress associated with the kind of work- but people are trained about that- again not through directed thinking but rather by providing clarity and support to do away with that space- I am sure you don’t want to be in an ER where the Doctor is sweating more than you and wondering what to do next! The unwanted stress that gets added up to you, only robs you away of whatever creativity, ingenuity and intrinsic genius that you have and tries to align you to be normal as defined by the compulsions of your work place or society!

The only way and the real way to deal with stress, as I see it, is to be connected within and lead yourself as you always did when you were a kid- through curiosity, persistence and intellect- as long as you continue to do this, you will be able to sieve through everything around you with amazing clarity and immediately know when its time to act, which way and when it’s time to exit a place- simply because it threatens to steal the gifts within you and try to make your extraordinary story an ordinary one!

Well, think about it and trust me, don’t get stressed for nothing! You see when you have a situation, the realities are only two- Either you can do something about it or you can’t- this irrespective of whether they impact you or not. So when you can make a change- Lead yourself and get that done by being who you are- there is no social template for that! and when you can’t do anything, use all your gifts to ensure that you are able to stand the storm and emerge on the other side with as little as collateral damage as possible! Stress really makes no sense and has no place- junk directed thinking, social biases, read through the agendas and keep yourself intact and stress free!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Until then relax and be yourself! Always!

Intellectual Fatigue.

The human brain is as amazing as anything there is in the universe! the only organ in the entire body, that can play the fool with you and offer you respite and nightmares in equal measure as you deserve them!This article is about trying to learn more about the human mind, the manifestation of intellectual fatigue and its’ about possibly learning to stop – when we must- because going about our daily lives with a tired and fatigued brain can cause more harm than you can ever imagine! This is about understanding how we end up possibly tiring our self (much of the time without a reason) and if there’s anything that we can do about- the tired brain and the manifesting intellectual fatigue!

We live in an era, where information is constantly evolving by the second, things change, contexts keep shifting and the mind is exposed to one new truth after the other, without any real time to explore the underlying causation and we are ever driven into a mode to course correct our approach to life, as we learn new things about the situations around us and this loop is driven more tighter by the intrinsic urge of “wanting to get control over our now” and this is the space where all complexities begin to get created and this is where simple things end up being complicated and we begin to add unwanted layers to existing problems- which at many times are nothing more but a passing phase!

The last two decades, have seen a literal explosion when it comes to access to information, knowledge and resources. As humans, we always have been aware of and as societies we have always strived to gain the upper hand when it comes to dominance of knowledge. Go by the number of patents files, the copyrights, the IPR’s all will tell you the same story- the urge and desire to dominate and control knowledge empowered bu human ingenuity which is propelled only by a fit mind- which is not tired and never defeated! This is where we arrive at a fundamental paradox, the abundance of information and knowledge causes intellectual fatigue at the one end while the same resources end up creating innovators and ingenious scientists among us- so what’s really happening? How can the same contextual set of information create two different results- one productive and progressive, while the other being withdrawn and regressive? The answer to this lies in the simple trick of keeping your mind lighter and in- the- moment (NOW) at all times! Let me explain!

When our mind is glued to the onslaught of information with no sense of direction/ purpose, the endless onslaught does noting more than tiring up our minds. At the same time if we are training our mind to seek a specific bit of information/knowledge for a limited period of time and for a particular objective that has been thought about- the same mind operates like a de-cluttering tool and blinds out everything else and gets going to the specific area of what you seek! So like a fine blowtorch the mind is sharp, intense and focused on a small area, unlike being diffused and blunt over a wide area- not knowing what it is supposed to do! This basic difference on how we use our mind either leaves it eternally fatigued or keeps it razor sharp and alert at all times- waiting to be unleashed for the next assignment! So now you may want to know, how to avoid this fatigue in the first place? Do we necessarily have to be always be alert and aiming for some invention? Well no, you don’t have to slog that hard to ensure your mind is healthy and not fatigued! You don’t need to be racing for innovation marathons either, what you must do is- keep things simple and be in the now!

The constant pressure to like/comment or wave at something over the social media space, that urge to contribute to opinions and pass judgement over the seemingly innocent cups of tea- creating half baked views about people and things (who really don’t care who you are and your views anyways don’t make a damn difference), instances like these and many more such episodes end up feeding our minds with an uninterrupted supply of intellectual garbage- and once your input is compromised- needless to say the output will be of a similar order and in the process ends up damaging the equipment- your brain! Remember that old saying- Watch your thoughts, they become your words- and watch your words for they will become your actions and so on and so forth- basically what you think and what you focus on thinking is what you will end up becoming and if your thinking is cluttered and tiring- you will never have an ounce of enthusiasm left to even pick the next grocery bag- forget about leading yourself or teams or organisations! Cluttered minds- are often the most tired ones’ not because they have been constantly at work- rather they have been grossly abused and put to action and think over- almost everything and anything that is around except what is relevant! This is the real reason why our minds get tired or fatigued- It’s not by doing what we want to- but more often it is by doing what we don’t want to , need to or are forced to do- the way we don’t want to!

Tackling Intellectual fatigue can be done by a simple process of alignment! Once you learn to align your thoughts and your approach to the contextual settings around you, with a definite purpose and you have clarity in how you go about your life- automatically the needless clutter will vaporize and you feel lighter and will surprisingly find that your mind too feels energetic! As you create a routine to stay focused to the purpose driven approach that you have and as all your thoughts and actions align to this approach- you will see – you won’t have time for gossip, that social media presence (which never really produces any worthwhile results) and hence with lesser non-productive stuff to deal with, your mind has enough energy left at all times to rise to the occasion and perform at things that really do matter and contribute to the alignment that you have chosen! This approach however must not be mistaken akin to someone to get serious with life- no way- this is about – creating an approach wherein you are aware and invested in your present time- so that you know how much of what to soak in and what to let go and what time- this ensures you have a lighter mental baggage to carry along at all times and as you travel light- you can adjust and harness the power of your minds as the situation at the hour demands form you!

At the workplace intellectual fatigue can manifest from areas and dimensions beyond one’s control, it could be as simple as doing what you don’t like- too easy or too hard or it could be the over riding manifestations of other people dynamics that play out- which seem to continually overplay and dominate the focus or approach that one plans to take- all these or any of these overbearing circumstances can make one feel mentally tired and eventually this reflects through work- lack of focus, mistakes, arguments, etc etc and this often results into the individual being ejected form the system! The way and perhaps the only way to arrest Intellectual fatigue from cropping up at the workplace is – having the right minds at the right places- (not right people). You see, we live in a hyper dynamic work arena and even if we were to have the right people but with the wrong minds- that is more than enough to trigger the fatigue syndrome and if we are speaking about close knit teams than this intellectual fatigue is as infectious as it can be! Sure enough you will be able to replace the old people with new minds across the team levels but you will still not know what hit you- because you will think you always had the right people- the only problem being you had the right people for sure but not the right minds at the right places!

The human mind, is amazing and in a way has a mind of it’s own! The fact remains that a tired and fatigued mind- doesn’t help anyone- nor the owner, neither the people around, a vibrant and energetic mind is always ready to pull off the incredible even in adverse times and provide respite to one and all for a greater good! This is the fundamental truth and the reason why we need to take more efforts to ensure we don’t end up tiring our precious mind for mindless things and the digital garbage that lies strewn across the digital landscape! Use your mind like it should be! If it’s a precious gift that you have, use it like one, if that’s the most potent weapon that you have, use it like one, if that’s the hope you have for humanity and the society you live in- use it to further that cause! Remember the mind is never fatigued when it is used with purpose and direction, it thrives & improves with challenges/ uncertainties and risks; it begins to experience fatigue when the surroundings are unbecoming and too junked for it to exist and operate!

I will leave you with my thoughts here; do think, if you experienced intellectual fatigue and what was it like- and why was it! I am sure whatever that reason would have been, your mind would have helped you to steer away from that clutter to ensure you keep progressing on a path of self- empowerment through an alert and vibrant mind!

Ciao for now, I will be back soon with another article, time for a coffee break! The mind needs one!

Fatal optimism!

How often have you got into that never ending trap that says; “Tomorrow is mine”! and what’s even worst is that we have tons and tons of garbage in the form of books, training material and mindless talks, examples which go on to try (and try very hard) to hard wire this thought of “never dying spirit of the human mind”, “don’t ever give up, no matter what” – well to be honest and in your face, time to face the mirror- it simply doesn’t work that way! It never did!

Now before you start to come up with judgement and a prejudice if I am actually screwing up your mind totally and you think of sending me a stinker of an email- wait- pause and hold yourself for that extra second. Just answer my question- “If all these techniques are so awesome and so accurate- with thousands of training’s happening every second, somewhere across the world- over so many decades- why hasn’t the world changed over time to be a better place with all that wisdom and glorified thinking at individual and group/society level? No, don’t start jumping to answers right away… take a pause and come back…. the flaw is not about the intent or the knowledge or the method- it is in the intent of the recipient and the flawed application of knowledge with misplaced intent! the sole reason for all the misery of mankind! The biggest among them is the fatal optimism that comes out of the rooms after all that pumped up training sessions and reading!

So now the million dollar question- what is this all about and how do we deal with this epic shit which kind of gnaws away common sense and logic even among the brightest of our stars across academia and the corporate world!

This is what really happens and what manifests this problem of fatal optimism.

Since time in memorial- “knowledge” has been guarded across civilizations and societies in funny and dangerous ways- our ancestors rightly believed in the maxim- knowledge is power and that it landing in hands of intellectually constipated minds can actually wreak havoc and do more harm than good! Hence over the eons different cultures devised structured ways to share knowledge in a way that only the very mindful and eligible would eventually be able to have the greatest exposure to the repository over a long learning curve- which continually assessed the intent of recipient at all times ( I am more specifically referring here to ancient Indian system of “gurukul” wherein all students would advance basis of merit rather than social status and standing. Of course there’s much more to that- but this article is not for debating and detailing this bit)

The point that I am trying to make here is simple- as we lost the upper hand in guarding the meritocracy with regards to access of knowledge, its use- cascading interpretation and then subsequent application all began to get into a downward spiral of diminishing intellect!

So how do we beat this- again a simple approach- choose your students carefully! Easier said then done in today’s era where- every trainer, coach (even like me) tries to make a living and hence is caught between the eternal dilemma “Will this stone in front of me breathe, live and let live!” Well , not everyone is really that messed up, let me be honest. In fact one approach that has helped me a lot to avoid people and my clients to get into the trap of fatal optimism, has been to do a realistic and honest expectation setting (from the coaching or training or engagement). This helps a big deal to ensure my clients do not end up in a optimism trap- because we all know the Sun will never rise in the west, no matter how hard you wish for that, and if it does- you are not going to be around to see that utopian sunrise- that’s a scientifically backed up certainty!

This one fundamental approach of grounding and setting right expectations, helps me to ensure my clients do not enter into the dangerous zone of “fatal optimism” which can be more destructive than having a general lack of confidence and or pessimism!

A few sure signs of fatal optimism are for all of us to see- living beyond one’s means, trying to take up assignments which cannot be delivered, promising the moon and stars to your boss each time targets are discussed and simple failure to see your own face in the mirror and always seeing the reflection of your twisted mental frame which is always grinning and smiling for no reason! These manifestations look innocent, funny and stupid but continued over a long time take shape of chronic ailments which is similar to running after a butterfly that never was! This becomes all the more complicated when people with these symptoms occupy chairs of responsibility- you can find them easily in offices- they lead the teams with the highest attrition and have a polarized team environment bordering on chaos and ambiguity and waiting for a spark to ignite into a massive fireball which has the potential to engulf an organisation depending on how high the chair is from where this misplaced optimism comes!

Do the world and yourself a big favor, and help avoid the spread of this chronic ailment of misplaced optimism which is fatal! Following simple clinical steps- like managing expectations, measuring changes in behavior over time and calibrating them across results is all that is needed ot ensure that we help our clients steer away from this dangerous fallacy of mindless “fatal optimism” and it goes a long way to make life good and enriching not only for the individual but this revived mental health also helps the immediate social circle at home and work to make the world a better place one person- one circle at a time!

At Simplifylives, we do a genuine effort to ensure every interaction has created value and brought in more clarity, direction and intent to keep away negating and dragging attributes like “fatal optimism” as much as we can!