Tag: thinking

Allow Thinking to be Intrinsic.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ 1 Comment

Thinking- the space which defines who we are and will become with the passage of time. Thinking that empowers us to create history or become part of it, which has the power to liberate us or bind us into timeless shackles of our own imagination and the ghosts that emerge within our minds. Thinking is perhaps the only one singular virtue which sets us apart and helps each one of us get that unique intellectual signature which has the hallmark of our unique thinking design all over it! Join me here as we take a fleeting look into what makes thinking so intoxicating and empowering and how something like that has the power to liberate and bind us in the same context of time but in a different context of arrangements around us! So here we go!

If there has been ever one thing that had the potency and the power to differentiate each one of us decisively, it is that intrinsic ability to Think! As simple it may sound, trust me there is nothing more complicated then this bit over here! The reason for that exceeding level of complexity with a simple act of Thinking , resides not in the ability to Think or not, it resides in the ability to be able to Think Intrinsically from the very core of who one is, as an individual and as discerning human! This is what is the holy grail of meaningful thinking is all about and this is what makes this so complicated and for the majority of us almost always a case of slip between the lip and the cup!

In the rushed lives that all of us lead, we are ever faced with that challenge of requiring to take decisions like that, hiring people, firing them off, picking up stuff for the home, planing that vacation, going for that event, that award ceremony, those bills that need attention, the modern human brain is simply working at its peak capacity – if I may say so- when it comes to enforcing the mind to take decisions like- now and here! You see the human brain was never designed that way, it was always designed to observe and record , calibrate and then decide- how fast and how rapidly these events unfolded and at what frequency well that would largely depend on what situation an individual is- say you are out there on the primitive woods and been stalked by a predator- your brain is going to race up and make you take those fight or flight decisions based on its assessment of the threat and your abilities to deal wit it, likewise if you have to select two packets of bread from a super market shelf- well- it’s going to allow you to take all the time in world that you need simply because it knows there is no urgency unless you are about to collapse out of starvation! This intrinsic default mechanism has of late, been put to much lesser use- in context of the ability and the quality of decisions that one can make good vis a vis what we end up feeding the mind with and the kind of decisions we ask it to make! Let me explain!

If you were to sieve through the last 1000 years of humanity and tried to find when were the greatest observations and intriguing questions were ever asked- chances are you would land yourself in the times of great civilizations, prosperous kingdoms which alone allowed the human mind to explore the fullest potential to question and more importantly Think! Think as in really think- not the mundane thought process of “What I tell my boss?” or “when do I get the next pay check”. Sure enough people back then would have been there who would have had similar challenges and questions bothering them as well, the only change for our times now is that more of us are engaged into Thinking about things that don’t really serve us and very few , very few of us are really asking the most pressing questions and Thinking as we should! This skewed off take between the overpowering density of useless thinking and very limited valid thinking is what keeps on drowning away any relevant voices that a society may have and thereby ends up pushing societies into that singular direction of less servicing and myopic scenarios.

Sure enough, I am suggesting we move to societies where we all have only philosophers asking finite and potent questions and finding the answers to these questions and we go about our utopian world just discussing! No, not a bit, what I am trying to share with you here is the compelling urgency that each one us must pay attention to make a choice to ask at least once in a while (if not often) some pertinent and valid questions which bring some justice to the fabulous thinking machines that each one of us has been gifted with! It is only when you allow that space to ask and get surrounded by intriguing questions once in a while that your brain will be stimulated enough and forced to come up with answers to perplexing observations that are beyond the routine and thereby provide your brain with that very much needed dose of stimulation to keep it abreast and tuning it to be always leaning and looking forward rather then only relying on past experiences and accumulated knowledge repository that is available at disposal on the click of a button!

The whole idea of allowing Thinking to be Intrinsic, is to allow it to be free of any pride or prejudice coming in either from the individual or from the surroundings that one may be in- for once that happens, then you are no longer thinking but rather aligning your observations and thought process to certify and validates what is around and what you desire for and this is where the fundamental disconnect happens and you are then entrapped for ever in a never ending circle of self- gratifying thinking either for yourself or for the people and things around you! Another level of conformation and compulsion just to get a sense of belonging among a groups- which again happens to be a hallmark of what humanity is!

Sure enough, you don’t need to think- the intrinsic way to buy that ice cream or those movie tickets or have that vacation, Intrinsic Thinking is for the more compelling questions about your individuality- about what you are – who you want to be as you transform through the stages of life and what is that you aspire and what to leave after you as a legacy that you have created- even if that has to be limited only for your family tree- if the stakes are higher and you have ever thought about influencing a society or a nation- then needless to say you need to have and embrace this space of Intrinsic Thinking more often then the others around you and need to also ask the right questions to have the right answers coming back to you in the time that they must! Thinking loses it’s potency as the quality of questions fall! Poor questions lead to poorer answers and thereby miserable solutions which lead to a myopic understanding of the life around us and then we are always left in that short served context until that next person arrives on the scene who asks the right questions, making it possible for the right answers to come in and thereby bring in the much needed change that the society would have been waiting for! So what is it that really makes Thinking Intrinsic? Well read on!

As I said earlier, It has to come from within and has to be pertaining to something that is compelling and which seems urgent in the context of the answers that the questions may provide- this is the space where great research, philosophical enquiry, scientific validations and myth busting takes place! Intrinsic Thinking is perhaps the purest form of thinking by staying focused on a perplexing question of high quality and then compelling your mind to provide equally high caliber answers/ solutions which are able to provide solutions or pathways which seem to deem fit to the quality of question asked in the first place! Once this is achieved (which in itself is a huge ask), what follows through the implementation of the solutions, needless to say is almost always in line to serve the greater good for humanity on a big scale! Use this Intrinsic Thinking with the wrong questions and what you get is the power to unleash hell on earth and cause misery to the millions around you! Intrinsic Thinking is all about carving a pathway to empowered thinking to allow individuals and societies to lead empowered lives by answering compelling questions in a way that high quality solutions and answers are found!

What happens when we do away with and shun this effort to allow and make way for Thinking in an Intrinsic manner? Well, you get what you are facing now! Screwed up ideologies, competing value systems and an omnipresent overbearing haze of ambiguity and myopic thinking across all levels within the society- right from individuals to the highest offices that a nation may have! When this happens, needless to say, everyone suffers, then it all falls back down to the scale of the majority- if the majority are wise – who practise Thinking the Intrinsic way- you still have a chance to think in an authentic manner and keep your head above the water line- but like it happens- if you are in a crowded society replete with idiots and dumbness, well you will have no other option to save your intrinsic thinking to just ensure you don’t get killed and walked upon over by the dumb-wits all around you!

I leave you here with these thoughts and urge you to mark that moment when you would want to deep dive into thinking by the intrinsic way and come up with some great answers for the great questions that you would have challenged and then race ahead to apply those finding to live an empowered life and perhaps also lead others through the empowered way!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Until then stay wise and keep Thinking the Intrinsic Way!

The cost of leadership.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

Everyone wants to lead and everyone has an opinion (valid or not) about the leader that they see, everyone concurs that they, are better, smarter and more able than their leaders (especially when it comes to the political or community space), whereas the fact remains that, none of this is really true, authentic or accurate- for the Leaders alone knows what holding on to that leadership position has cost them- the untold saga of sacrifices, decisions going wrong and being coerced to choose between the evil and the lesser evil! Join me here as we try to decipher what plays on the mind of the leader as they sieve through multiple decisions that they must take, to continue leading what they lead and ensuring that all the stakeholders are safe, secure and the greater good is served over everything else at all times!

To begin with, one needs to understand that Leadership and Leaders are quite different from Mangers and the Bosses that you come across every now and then, Good Leader by default make great managers or bosses- that is what leading is all about, however the converse is not true! To that effect we must know what leadership and leading is all about! Sure enough there are volumes and volumes written by experts who have worked in the area of leadership and leading teams, but if you were to condense all of that and try to decipher what is the essence of leadership- it will eventually come down to a few things, like Leaders are courageous, vulnerable, rooted yet able to soar high and apart from many other things they are, they connect heart to heart and lead from the heart, creating more leaders then followers! Certainly Leadership experts, will add more aspects to what goes on to define what leading is and what leadership is, but since this is a blog, having the limitations, I will not dive further into this space, but now move ahead into what we are here to discuss- the cost of leadership!

Ask any Leader, that you come across and you will at an instant notice, leadership or leading people, is nothing like the way it is marketed or the way fables are written around it to motivate and inspire people! Leaders & their Leadership comes often with an intense and intimate cost; which rarely leaders will admit in the open- whether the costs of their leadership is the price paid by their family, their health or simply the acrimonious contextual settings that they operate in (based on the society that are in); every and all leadership comes at a cost! These costs at times outweigh the brief of the what is been lead and at times, the greatness of that position, makes any cost look too trivial and leaders keep pushing ahead to serve and lead upon what they have embarked! Let me explain!

Consider this, let’s say you are a leader (not a manager) and are given the task to lead a faltering organisation and get it back on it’s feet, given the fact, you are a leader, you will get it done, you may take a few months, a few years, perhaps a decade- based on what the organisation is, how complex the challenge is, but you will persevere, stay put and deliver- that’s what leadership is all about, isn’t it! Now, add a little twist to this, say while getting this assignment, if you were told that, you know what, by the time you finish getting this done and dusted, you will have probably increased blood sugars, an enhanced blood pressure and added waist line and you can meet your family only once a year- now- – what do you think will happen? What would have you done? This is the point where every leader evaluates- and rightly so- this is that moment which every leader undergoes before saying “Yes” to any assignment that comes their way- this evaluation of what is at stake- what is the cost to be paid and who will it involve is what plays on the Leader’s mind and sure enough, once this is settled the Leader’s are quick to start with the business and hit the ground. Now if you want to raise the stakes higher, how about if you are given the chance and choice to lead you nation? Feel the shivers? Based on where you are on the planet and whether you are dealing with millions in a multicultural society with sharp ideologies or in a bipolar society which just thinks the society and the world is either black or white!, You have a touch assignment and then start adding up layers of diplomacy, political prudence, media glare, intragroup rivalry, opposition pressures, international alignments and yes that ever looming threat being the person on the chair! You still want to lead? You see, it is very easy to give opinions and say things about people in power or in general about leaders- but if you only knew the cost that have paid to be where they- you will have a rethink before you race to say anything to them either appreciating or criticizing them! You may want to say, but that’s what they have signed up for!

Sure enough, Leaders do sign up for challenges around the work and for leading people and holding them together as they achieve goals that they have been entrusted with; but Leaders never sign up for the price that they at times end up paying which can far outweigh anything & everything that they would have signed up for! Like the earlier example, if you were to take up an assignment knowing your health will be irreversibly damaged- well then your move actually puts a whole big question mark on your leadership competence- Simply because Leadership is not Suicidal! If you were to say yes and go ahead with that corporate offer to lead compromising and damaging your own health, rest assured you will end up rubbing the same down through the team and the consequence would be higher medical bills for the organization to settle, increased health related absenteeism and in that rare event death on the job!

Leadership is raw, painful, thankless, invisible yet omnipresent, rewarding and fulfilling- the real leader knows the way to find the right essence between being an eccentric genius and a soft spoken suave presence. Often than not the real cost of leadership is never seen in the open and except for that small inner circle of the leader, hardly ever will everyone know the multiple battles and jugglery that the leader undertakes just to ensure that the team still has their job in the month ahead and your salary cheque will reach you as it should! Often the biggest misconception is that the “Corner Office” people have nothing to do, just go on for endless lunch meetings and evening catch up’s on the way back home!

What people miss out is that, it’s these very lunch meetings that usher in the promise of a sustained lunch for all the people that the Leader leads and the meetings on the way back, suddenly extend robbing them away of their family time, more than anyone else! Given the construct of the culture that we have and the working associations and equations, Leaders will rarely open up to tell you how they felt nervous before the client said or whispered that “yes” over lunch, neither will they tell you what kind of ruckus that they had to face, simply because they could not attend their kids school function…the list is endless and this selfless sacrifices, measured and done on a daily basis, is what Leaders face!

Whether you lead as a doctor, a cop, a defence warrior, a corporate head honcho, or you are that next big start up success story- you could be any of these or you could be as simply as leading yourself and you will see even the effort to lead yourself too comes at a cost and the cost that you pay to lead yourself is the time you waste/invest in creating greater value for yourself to become a better version what will be relevant in the approaching tomorrow! Every Leader starts by Leading themselves first! It really doesn’t matter what you have signed up for, unless you are game on and you are able to spread that contagious warmth and exuberance among your team mates, the whole journey will end even before it starts!

The simple and singular fat is leadership and leaders pay the price or rather should I say the cost for the leadership that take responsibility for, at times the decision is far more important than their personal comfort and there is a greater social cause and hence must be held on to and at other times, leaders begin to soak in more and more into their work, not because they are workaholic maniacs, but simply because they can’t allow the team to fail, for the team’s failure is their own failure! Every leader weighs and evaluates the cost, even before they start and for some reason if they miss out on this bit, we get to see what is a full blown leadership crisis in the workplace and you can see leaders come and go- simply because there is not contextual setting and clarity on what is to be achieved and at what cost! If you ask me, another term for Leadership is Clarity of Purpose- when you have that, you are able to lead, yourself first and as that conviction led warmth spreads, other join you sooner than you think and you are well on your way to create new milestones in the task that you have chosen ahead!

To wrap it up, the next time, you come across a leader (not a manager) just know this, that the person has sacrificed something, you may know that or may never know that, but that is a given! Leadership is never about Lights, Camera, Action, It’s all about sweat, grit, determination, failures and bounce backs from one moment unto the next until the objective is achieved!

I leave you here, with these thoughts for no, do reflect, think about all the leaders you ever came across and what do you think their leadership cost them, and if you happen to be a leader (not a manager), what is the cost that you have paid and is it worth it?

Ciao for now, will be back soon! By the way, do get in touch with us for appointments pertaining to Leadership Coaching that we have now commenced! For more details drop in a mail or visit us at http://www.simplifylives.com

The hour-glass (effect) comes next.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ 2 Comments

Even as we emerge out of the shadows of the pandemic and pick up the pieces of what is remaining to rebuild and revisit our lives, livelihoods and priorities the fact remains that, we are not going to be coming back to the way the things were earlier at least for the next 12 – 24 months depending on which part of the world you are! Even as we overcome what has hit us, we must prepare for, what I like to call as the Hour-Glass Effect, something which has already started and will go on to dominate our lives for a couple of years at least! This article is about, understanding what this is and what we can possibly do or not do, to be sure that we have our dear life in the right areas of the emerging hour-glass! So here we go!

Let’s examine on the political front, what we see around is that there is an increasingly sharper division among the political class the world over, unlike the earlier times when there was space in the middle to ensure that a dynamic and progressive balance is offered to the nation (to keep moving ahead) without any extreme alignments to the right or the left, now it has become the survival of the either ends of the ideologies that the world of politics is known for- irrespective which nation you belong to what state government you are ruled by- if you are living in a democratic set up- you either are making a choice between a radically polarized nationalist front or trying to hold on o a liberal and more accommodating popular front.Well there is nothing, more that I want to suggest here; each of us is free to choose our own path to to our grave- doesn’t matter which end you lean because at both ends what you have are politicians, the real problem is the stretching of the hour-glass right in the middle- the stretch which would have normally been of an adequate proportion seems to be drawn out and made more and more thinner with each political move and this is what throws the society into further chaos- because the society is compelled to collapse onto itself with no space to move, act or even breathe- let alone exist!

If politics plays its part, how can society be left untouched! At the very moment that I am writing this, thousands of families would have either made it to the upper- more opulent part of the hour-glass escaping the intense pressure and crush at the thinned out central space and there would millions who would have been pushed down back to the bottom – most of them reaching back where they would have been a few years or perhaps even decades back! Don’t be surprised, its relatively simple- as the political class go on to play what they are good at, the economic indicators are often let loose to alter the disposition of societies- at times willingly and few times accidentally by oversight- it’s anyone’s guess about what it is – with regards to the events that we are witnessing now! As this happens, the societies move and adjust to get into the old two class system- those who have and those who don’t and each of these sets then begin to carve out their own goals to co-exist with or without confrontation and as this happens over the period of time you see once again the coming of age of the so-called middle strata- middle class once again and the whole cycle start again as the hour glass gets flipped by then! This is what really happens and given the lifespan that each one of us has- rarely will we have a chance to witness the whole cycle through the meaningful period of our lives- and as depending when this cycle hits us individually either we become those dazzling sunrise entrepreneurs or we are forced into the oblivion of darkness through early exit form the professional stage with no time or resources left to re-build or re-start anything meaningful all over again- simply because there is no time left!

If nations,societies can be impacted then what makes you think, that as an individual you will be spared! In fact to be honest, it is the impacted individuals who go on to make the choices which determine the stretch of the hour glass and the quantum of right choices then enables one to reach a comfortable zone within the right space in the hour-glass and bad decisions are routinely rewarded with uncomfortable positions and spaces which manifest as societal discord being played out in the streets on a daily basis! So you see, it is about the choices that we as individuals make that determines the stretch of the central section of the hour-glass and if we are wise and swift enough to make the right one, we are bound to be at the right place no matter how many times the hour-glass is flipped or shaken! The beauty is that the choice always remains with us and within us! So how do we go about ensuring that we are in that sweet spot and are able to be in a zone that is safe enough ton make the adjustment but stay relevant at all times? Well read on!

The trick is deceptively simple, firstly irrespective of everything and anything else, follow the old maxim of creating friends and enemies that you can live with but get get killed by! Once you have the contextual settings around you in control you are certain to always calibrate your aspirations, risk appetite and recklessness in direct contrast to your immediate surrounding- this ensures that even if you hit the deepest and the oddest of all potholes, you will survive and live to tell the tale and begin all over again! Next, calibrate and define your achievements/ success stories to yourself not to the settings around you! You see, if you are going ton end up building sandcastles by the beach, they will not last, that’s a fact, at some point of time either the sea will claim it or the crabs will use it! As long as your success comes from within you, because of who you are and not because of what is told to you- about who you are- you will be just fine! Each one of us is unique, needless to say, even the thought of comparing our success/achievement with anyone else around is the dumbest things that we can ever end up doing!, so never ever do that! Finally once you have a refined sense of what makes you- who you are; once you have a refined understanding about what is your definition of success; you will always then be scanning the contextual settings around you- at all times; not to compare but rather to know what’s out there which may harm and stall your progress. Your heightened self-awareness will go a long way to provide you with that vital early-warning system which will tell you well in time (more than others) to make the needed amends so that as the flip of the hour-glass occurs or as the constriction commences you are well ahead and safe enough to manage yourself and those around you!

Well the hour-glass will flip and will continue to constrict and expand around the centre in an endless cycle – that is perhaps what life is all about! What matters though is that in the short times that we have, it will only make sense that we make an effort to be at the right place within the hour-glass so that no matter how hard it is shaken, or how tight the constriction is, we are able to prevail for our own well being and for the people who depend on us- whether that’s our family, our society or our nation or the global community, depending on who you are, larger will be the dependence and higher the need to prevail and overcome the hour-glass effect and the only way to do it, is by – Being who you are!

I will leave you here with these thoughts for now, to reflect and contemplate , where you are within this hour-glass and how well you are prepared for whats happening now and what will happen later- because the hour-glass will keep flipping as and when its time arrives!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another article! Until then stay safe, stay wise and keep time!

The story about Change and Uncertainty.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

Hello there! This article is not about the the “All will be ok” manual for your this life and next life, but what I want to share with you through this piece, is about reflecting on few aspects which you would know the best, simply because, no matter who says what, You and you alone are the master of your life and you get to chart the course of your life! So let’s move ahead!

Change is something that we all love (heart in heart) but as we are told, it’s on the way, we start with a certain about of rebellion! Consider this, we all know as kids, our parents asked us, requested us and whacked us on multiple issues whether, it was about brushing twice a day, saying our prayers, keeping the room neat and tidy, helping with domestic chores, you think about it- and each one of us has a story to relate to this aspect of our lives! As we look back to those incidents which could be anywhere from few years ago to maybe decades ago- we realize how foolish and futile was it to just say no – to brush our teeth twice, keep our rooms tidy etc. etc. So what is happening here, why is it that whether it be the boss in our office, or the homes that we come from, every time that something changes- why do we start with a freaking “NO”? Why is it this way?

Well, the answer lies in the most primitive part of our brain- a part of the brain which has been programmed through evolution to “Always keep doing what you have been doing”- simply because that has not killed or harmed you! That’s why you get the cold sweat each time you want to try a new sea food, or think about changing your job or experience that fear of being fired or simply the challenges with moving houses so on and so forth! The human mind (in it’s true and natural way) has been programmed to keep us healthy and safe- hence it works well with repetitive chores and functions, however with evolution and development- few of us have been able to adapt and overcome this strong primitive desire to stay anchored and have embraced the world of curiosity- this happens only when individuals experience a powerful trigger at vital points through their life- the triggers could be positive or negative- but what they do is propel your thinking to disregards the primitive, cautious approach to embrace a new more risk seeking and adventurous route- which when works- make people successful, innovative and leaders to a new aspect of life and when it doesn’t work- well not many come to know about it and soon you are coiled back to your own original lesser self doing what can be done effortlessly just to ensure you stay alive!

Change and Uncertainty, since ancient times have been the fundamental reasons for the advancement and destruction of human civilizations and I believe that this is perhaps a cycle as ancient as the planet itself! If you see deeper, the problem is not really with the Change or the Uncertainty- It has got more to do with what is being communicated about these aspects to the people- by those who they trust- which makes all the difference between accepting and embracing change or raking up a complete rebellious situation! The essence for helping Individuals to embrace change is about crafting and designing a powerful, yet simple communication which connects and directs them to act in a way which helps them internalize the oncoming change and makes it their second nature! Once this is done as change gets closer, it feels like their second skin and not something alien which they may get spooked by!

Uncertainty is like the older cousin of Change , because Uncertainty can get along Change or Change can bring along Uncertainty! Either ways they are never far away from each other! How one treats one of them goes a long way with what the other aspect is going to throw at the Individual! Consider this, You come to know, because of this CCP Virus, you are technically screwed up and have no clarity on your next pay check! Well there you have a forced change and uncertainty walking right through the front door towards you! Now what do you? Well you have a choice to make either you talk with Uncertainty and plan to deal with Change or you strike a conversation with Change and then try to figure out the extent of uncertainty and it’s nature! Either approach will help you take some meaningful action which will ensure that none of the other negative manifestations of Change and Uncertainty (like paranoia, anxiety, PTSD etc which can set into your mind and unleash havoc!).

The only way to deal with change and uncertainty is to embrace it, acknowledge it and accept it. It doesn’t get simpler than this! As an individual you need to come to the present time- be in the now- away from your dreamy past of I could, I would and staying away from your anxious future- which keep on rattling of things which commence with I will, I can etc.. you need ton be firmly anchored into the present moment to make any and all sense of what the coming Change and Uncertainty is trying to communicate to you! Once you have deciphered what the message is, than moving ahead into the next moment becomes a breeze and you will find that these very elements of Change and Uncertainty become your allies and help you propel into the future! The trick here is about understanding the coded message that Change brings along!

Change often communicates only one of the few things; It could be- a) Keep going- race ahead or slow down. b) Stop and Think or c) Take a detour fast or slow! It can never be anything else, and once you have figured this out- you probably also come to know why the onset of change is manifesting to begin with! Once this vital aspect is understood than embracing change and dealing with Uncertainty becomes fairly simple! Uncertainty by itself has got to with our own misplaced anticipations and expectations from unfolding events! Uncertainty is noting else but what our minds refuse to accept and it gets compounded when we simply refuse to apply ourselves and work towards confronting it (with the know- how that comes to us once change has been deciphered). Once we learn about the essence of Change, resolving Uncertainty becomes easier as we start to work in the direction that increases predictability of outcomes and clarity- this approach alone clear away the fog of uncertainty which otherwise can assume demonic proportions and create demons in our heads for no apparent reason!

I will leave you here and urge you to reflect and think what was your experience like, the last time when Change came knocking to your door with it’s cousin- Uncertainty! Did it make you or break you?

Ciao for now and will be back soon, until than take care and stay wise!