Tag: thoughts

Rationalize your desires.

~ PA ~ Leave a comment

One key learning that 2020 has offered humanity with is the urgent need to rationalize every bit of time that we have with us and very importantly about rationalizing our desires! Sure enough, not that these aspects were not known to humanity earlier, neither it is that people have been reckless or careless about this, but 2020 has shown with absolute certainty that things will go wrong and when they do go wrong- even the basic freedoms will begin to seem like great privileges of your life! Join me here as nudge the space around why it is so imperative and critical that humanity begins to rationalize its desires and how that alone can help us collectively focus on our today to create a meaningful tomorrow! So here we go!

Sure enough, this is not going to be a write up on evaluating whether it is right to have desires or not, neither is it going to be about suggesting how much of desire is enough or anything around this things! What I want you to start to explore here with me is to decipher how desires have gone to shape our lives- individually and collectively and how people who make progress do differently from those who seem stagnated- remember the word is “seem stagnated” and irrespective of who says what, even the person embracing inaction is in a state of muted action! To explore this space of how to rationalize our desires, we need to perhaps first know what desires are and what is so meaningful and stupid about them!

Desires are what they are- I mean you will always get a more technically correct reply perhaps from a certified clinical psychologist on what they are, but from a layman perspective- desires are what makes us humans “tick” and when I use the word “tick” it implies for the better and for the worse! Humanity has evolved through the ages soaking in different experiences at different times wither within the same geographical space or by travelling and engaging with other regions. Those experiences and learnings go on to shape our thoughts in two specific areas among other things, the area of abundance and the area of deficiency! This is the essence of human desires- they almost always emerge from what is available aplenty or what is absolutely lacking and this from where the whole effort to pursue and realize them begins!

As I said in the beginning, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with the space around desire, so say, you have one apple and you want one more that’s fine, you have no apples and you want one, that’s fine too, things begin to go wrong when you start to believe that either you alone should have an apple or there should be no apple in the world! This is why and how we arrive at the next step of rationalizing human desires! Unless human desires aren’t rationalized in the context of the potency of the desires, we will always continue to be in a path of conflict and uncertainty no matter how affluent or access to opulence our world and lives seem to have! So how do we about rationalizing something that’s so fragile, unpredictable and has the potential to be both rewarding and punishing!

Well, to begin with, it’s easier said than done, like a lot of things that hinge on human greed! Having said that, giving sanity a chance, the real and perhaps the only way to rationalize desires is either by virtue of self-realization or the more brutal and unrelenting way deployed by social compulsions and societal framework- more often than not it is the combination of both these factors that compel humans to calibrate – rationalize their desires- but as amore and more ways to cheat the real unbiased calibration or rationalization become available- people end up getting trapped by trying to pursue what is really not meant for them and believe me this has nothing to do with their abilities or inabilities!

It’s easier to understand why individuals would want to disregard their intelligence and keep pushing for some utopian desires endlessly, but how and why do societies end up pursuing the rabbit on the moon? Well, that is a factor of the diminishing individual and collective intelligence in a society and more often than not leadership with misplaced priorities! So you, see this becomes a great ecosystem to reward dumbness and continue pursuing it, as there is no one really checking anything meaningful and all the checks and balances are again looped in to the level of acquired collective dumbness! This is the space where humanity conforms and binds to an agreed and allowed level of dumbness and incompetence. Hence even desires often get mis-construed riding on this overwhelming backdrop of societal chaos or at times, just left to linger on with no real potency and purpose. But then how do few desires manifest and what makes them come alive?

The truth around the desires that come alive- whether they be individual led or collective manifestations of a society or nation resides in one fundamental truth and this is that those desires are more often than not compelling and fundamental to the existence of the individual or the collective and if not realized can directly drive them to a point of crisis which threatens their very existence! When an individual desires for that house, there is a compelling and urgency led purpose, when an individual needs that certification that signifies the urgency of purpose again and likewise when societies or nations pursue projects/ desires/aspirations and are able to manifest them- more often than not they are the very essence of what that society stands for! The leaders know it very well , what to manifest and what to hold back and to time the collective manifestation for a nation’s desire- simply because there is an added layer of credit taking which plays a pivotal role even when the desires that are being realized offer a promise of hope and future!

Unless a directed effort is made to rationalize desires, manifestation of what is being desired will almost always falter, not because there is perhaps a flaw in the desire, but largely because there will be ambiguity among the beholder of the manifestation with regards to what is to be done with what has manifested! This is that space of winning a million dollars in a lottery and not knowing what it means! So how does one rationalize?

Well, rationalizing desires begins by knowing and building a relevant foundation congruent to what is that is being desired, higher and further that your desires are, the deeper and wide is what the foundation needs to be! This foundation can be different things for different desires, it could be that certification, it could be that access to resources, it could be that potent network, it could be that powerful network around you, whatever that is, it has to be aligned to what you want to manifest through your desires. If you observe around your or perhaps even look for examples in your life, the chances are that the story of many of those unrealized desires resides in the misaligned foundations that were built, resulting in a life that is neither aligned to foundation nor the desire!

Once you are able to have a formidable foundation aligned to your desires then magic seems to happen and you will witness that you will gravitate towards circumstances and people who share the same thought for the desire that is being projected and the journey of manifestation begins to take shape! Once you are aligned through the process and you have calibrated the journey with definite mile stones and a final stop, rest assured even as you the rigour of the journey and the test of time- like every great idea and desire does- you will arrive safe and secure- simply because you would have amplified well that desire in people around you and in the processes around you to ensure that you will prevail sooner or later, irrespective of how steep the challenge is! This is the real essence of rationalizing your desires, it is never about desiring less or lowering your desires, on the contrary it is about, diving deep within and creating a strong bedrock for your foundation so that your desires can be pursued and realized in accordance with the laid foundations!

I leave you here with these thoughts, urging you to connect with your foundation and see how it serves your desires and tweak it in congruence to create enough amplification to propel you ahead to manifest the desires that you hold within!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one, until then stay wise and stay connected!

Distributed Leadership through People.

~ PA ~ Leave a comment

The last few years have seen the rise and rise of something that I like to call as “Distributed Leadership”, other names to this space are “people movement”, “leaderless agitations”, “apolitical unrest” and so on and so forth! Depending on which part of the world you reside in and how allowing the government of the day is, you will come across the example of Distributed Leadership in varying degrees of intensity, aggression and intent. Join me here as we take a quick look into what this is all about, and how we can tap the energy of this attribute to work for us and when can it falter and how do we keep it under check? So here we go!

The past few years, in fact quite a few of them, the world has been a witness to unrest, agitation and rift among various sections of societies and more often than not the collective voice of people has been directed towards the people who govern (or should I say mis-govern), what has largely changed is, unlike earlier times, when these were lead and systematically planned by one political outfit or ideology to topple the other, this time around many of these agitations and unrest episodes have been the strong, uncensored, relentless and direct simply because these were the voices of people who were not engaging with a stronger opposition as individual members of a society, but rather as a collective team of individual leaders- this is the dawn of “Distributed Leadership”.

If you are wondering why would this happen, when societies most of the times have ideologies to voice out societal concerns and raise issues with those who govern; well it is precisely when these fail and when people have lost all faith and trust in them that they are not left with any other option but to take the things into their own hands and formulate and come up with virtually “leaderless collective” which goes on to play a pivotal role in the emerging fabric of a new reorganized social fabric!

When people begin to loose faith among the elected/ nominated leaders and their leadership, they are left with no other choice but to take things into their own hands- call it coercive empowerment if you like, but when this potent force is used well, timely and for a just cause, even the most seemingly unrelenting governing bodies seem to get ready to come to the table for discussions and finding a mid-way- this in social space is known as public face saving! Well we have witnessed this, union movement, union talks with governing bodies of large organization, in the more recent times, the ability of professional bodies and trade organizations to negotiate and arrive at solutions which are more workable all of these are nothing but an impact of the leaderless movements and stimulus which begin everything that finally reaches on a potent table to find the way ahead! The question here is, why would elected or nominated leaders not do what they have been elected/selected to do and perform? Why would they want things in society to reach these levels?

Leaders are human too and they will fail for sure, the question is never about, “If they will fail; it is always about “When will they fail” and life being what it is, sooner or later even the best of leaders that you may have will be presented with a challenge which simply ends up being beyond their capacity to resolve- either there is limitation through Incompetence- Intrinsic or by virtue of the wrong people who have been allowed to rally around the Leader. Whether you consider a small organization having 100 people or large corporate houses or even perhaps the running of a nation- the failure of leadership is only possible when leadership Incompetence begins to precipitate and once that happens it is only a matter of time that as alternatives within the working frame collapse one after the other- society gets more and more restless and eventually you have these mass protests and voices on the street communicating what matters the most- as long as they are heeded and understood, there is still time to salvage the leader and the leadership, but for some real insane reason if leaders get advised to embark on the confrontational route- well total collapse of the leader and the leadership is eminent – sooner or later- because instances like those are never forgotten neither forgiven from the public memory once they are etched!

Another great blessing in disguise emerging from the space of people movement is the promise of a whole new breed of leaders, who are driven by set of values, principles and believe in the cause that they stand up for and are ready to brave what comes their way- sending out important signals to the community that they now have alternatives, which are importantly connected with how the society feels- which by itself is so vital to bring about any meaningful change or transformation that governing bodies may want to embark upon- whether they are community services of the government’s of the day or large organisation with considerable community foot-print in a given area.

If you think that people movement is always about those protests on the roads- well think again- it happens all the time- that blog you follow, that writer who inspires, that Ministry which motivates you, the fellow worker who makes you want to join the team, the stories you want to let your kids and the future generations know, factors like these and many other go on to ensure that when the times get tough, people will rise, slowly but surely and in whatever limited way they can- If they can’t be on the street they will through their thoughts or actions, no matter how small they seem to be- collaborate, communicate and engage to keep the momentum going on, like the ashed out cinders in a fireplace- always warm enough to provide that spark and rekindle a new fire- that is what the essence of distributed leadership through people really is!

Nominated or Elected Leaders are comprehensively powerless until and unless they have this loyal base which goes on to work all the time promoting and striving to live up to the promise of what has been communicated from the very top! Say the leader of a nation appeals to their citizens to make that nation great again! Well unless citizens don’t add to the equation and do what each one of them can do in their own small or big way- the dream will always end up being a dream and if you really begin to experience change and an impact- then you surely know that there is this huge army of nameless leaders who are slowly but effectively contributing to the cause and ensuring that dream gets to see the light of the day!

If you are wondering can this space of People led Leadership movement be kept under check, well the answer is YES and NO, Yes, if it seems to threaten the fundamental fabric of a society or nation or tends to bring about great danger to humanity, the the nominated and elected class will clamp down- hard and fast and NO if the incompetence levels have been so terrible that they are actually putting the society and nation at risk to a point from where recovery seems impossible! As with a nation, likewise with other facets, as long as the threats are low to moderate and not a severe threat people movements will come and go- with limited impacts, but when the the threats seems to be severe, they sustain, linger, and tend to keep coming back for one or the other reason on an ongoing basis and to make matters complicated- the more effort that is made to clamp them down- the more resurgent they seem to become! There is never an absolute right and wrong when it comes to humanity and the truth always lingers somewhere between the extreme options that a society is always presented with!

I will leave you with these thoughts here, urging you to witness the next people movement/protest/agitation/ rift through the lens of leadership incompetence and social rewiring- for that is what it really always is and will be! Sometimes it happens dramatically on the streets and other times it is happenings in quiet corridors of power and the shop floors of factories when people assume Individual Leadership- no title- no designation- Leadership by Action to support and further the cause that they have aligned themselves to! This is the real secret about how human societies make progress even through the most challenging and daunting times and every time we miss to see this, rest assured we miss out on vital cues to decipher and decode what’s unfolding in the future- both the short term and the long term of it!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one, until then stay wise, stay safe and be the Leader that you can be and always remembers Leaders don’t need labels- they earn them as they do what they set out to do!

The cost of leadership.

~ PA ~ Leave a comment

Everyone wants to lead and everyone has an opinion (valid or not) about the leader that they see, everyone concurs that they, are better, smarter and more able than their leaders (especially when it comes to the political or community space), whereas the fact remains that, none of this is really true, authentic or accurate- for the Leaders alone knows what holding on to that leadership position has cost them- the untold saga of sacrifices, decisions going wrong and being coerced to choose between the evil and the lesser evil! Join me here as we try to decipher what plays on the mind of the leader as they sieve through multiple decisions that they must take, to continue leading what they lead and ensuring that all the stakeholders are safe, secure and the greater good is served over everything else at all times!

To begin with, one needs to understand that Leadership and Leaders are quite different from Mangers and the Bosses that you come across every now and then, Good Leader by default make great managers or bosses- that is what leading is all about, however the converse is not true! To that effect we must know what leadership and leading is all about! Sure enough there are volumes and volumes written by experts who have worked in the area of leadership and leading teams, but if you were to condense all of that and try to decipher what is the essence of leadership- it will eventually come down to a few things, like Leaders are courageous, vulnerable, rooted yet able to soar high and apart from many other things they are, they connect heart to heart and lead from the heart, creating more leaders then followers! Certainly Leadership experts, will add more aspects to what goes on to define what leading is and what leadership is, but since this is a blog, having the limitations, I will not dive further into this space, but now move ahead into what we are here to discuss- the cost of leadership!

Ask any Leader, that you come across and you will at an instant notice, leadership or leading people, is nothing like the way it is marketed or the way fables are written around it to motivate and inspire people! Leaders & their Leadership comes often with an intense and intimate cost; which rarely leaders will admit in the open- whether the costs of their leadership is the price paid by their family, their health or simply the acrimonious contextual settings that they operate in (based on the society that are in); every and all leadership comes at a cost! These costs at times outweigh the brief of the what is been lead and at times, the greatness of that position, makes any cost look too trivial and leaders keep pushing ahead to serve and lead upon what they have embarked! Let me explain!

Consider this, let’s say you are a leader (not a manager) and are given the task to lead a faltering organisation and get it back on it’s feet, given the fact, you are a leader, you will get it done, you may take a few months, a few years, perhaps a decade- based on what the organisation is, how complex the challenge is, but you will persevere, stay put and deliver- that’s what leadership is all about, isn’t it! Now, add a little twist to this, say while getting this assignment, if you were told that, you know what, by the time you finish getting this done and dusted, you will have probably increased blood sugars, an enhanced blood pressure and added waist line and you can meet your family only once a year- now- – what do you think will happen? What would have you done? This is the point where every leader evaluates- and rightly so- this is that moment which every leader undergoes before saying “Yes” to any assignment that comes their way- this evaluation of what is at stake- what is the cost to be paid and who will it involve is what plays on the Leader’s mind and sure enough, once this is settled the Leader’s are quick to start with the business and hit the ground. Now if you want to raise the stakes higher, how about if you are given the chance and choice to lead you nation? Feel the shivers? Based on where you are on the planet and whether you are dealing with millions in a multicultural society with sharp ideologies or in a bipolar society which just thinks the society and the world is either black or white!, You have a touch assignment and then start adding up layers of diplomacy, political prudence, media glare, intragroup rivalry, opposition pressures, international alignments and yes that ever looming threat being the person on the chair! You still want to lead? You see, it is very easy to give opinions and say things about people in power or in general about leaders- but if you only knew the cost that have paid to be where they- you will have a rethink before you race to say anything to them either appreciating or criticizing them! You may want to say, but that’s what they have signed up for!

Sure enough, Leaders do sign up for challenges around the work and for leading people and holding them together as they achieve goals that they have been entrusted with; but Leaders never sign up for the price that they at times end up paying which can far outweigh anything & everything that they would have signed up for! Like the earlier example, if you were to take up an assignment knowing your health will be irreversibly damaged- well then your move actually puts a whole big question mark on your leadership competence- Simply because Leadership is not Suicidal! If you were to say yes and go ahead with that corporate offer to lead compromising and damaging your own health, rest assured you will end up rubbing the same down through the team and the consequence would be higher medical bills for the organization to settle, increased health related absenteeism and in that rare event death on the job!

Leadership is raw, painful, thankless, invisible yet omnipresent, rewarding and fulfilling- the real leader knows the way to find the right essence between being an eccentric genius and a soft spoken suave presence. Often than not the real cost of leadership is never seen in the open and except for that small inner circle of the leader, hardly ever will everyone know the multiple battles and jugglery that the leader undertakes just to ensure that the team still has their job in the month ahead and your salary cheque will reach you as it should! Often the biggest misconception is that the “Corner Office” people have nothing to do, just go on for endless lunch meetings and evening catch up’s on the way back home!

What people miss out is that, it’s these very lunch meetings that usher in the promise of a sustained lunch for all the people that the Leader leads and the meetings on the way back, suddenly extend robbing them away of their family time, more than anyone else! Given the construct of the culture that we have and the working associations and equations, Leaders will rarely open up to tell you how they felt nervous before the client said or whispered that “yes” over lunch, neither will they tell you what kind of ruckus that they had to face, simply because they could not attend their kids school function…the list is endless and this selfless sacrifices, measured and done on a daily basis, is what Leaders face!

Whether you lead as a doctor, a cop, a defence warrior, a corporate head honcho, or you are that next big start up success story- you could be any of these or you could be as simply as leading yourself and you will see even the effort to lead yourself too comes at a cost and the cost that you pay to lead yourself is the time you waste/invest in creating greater value for yourself to become a better version what will be relevant in the approaching tomorrow! Every Leader starts by Leading themselves first! It really doesn’t matter what you have signed up for, unless you are game on and you are able to spread that contagious warmth and exuberance among your team mates, the whole journey will end even before it starts!

The simple and singular fat is leadership and leaders pay the price or rather should I say the cost for the leadership that take responsibility for, at times the decision is far more important than their personal comfort and there is a greater social cause and hence must be held on to and at other times, leaders begin to soak in more and more into their work, not because they are workaholic maniacs, but simply because they can’t allow the team to fail, for the team’s failure is their own failure! Every leader weighs and evaluates the cost, even before they start and for some reason if they miss out on this bit, we get to see what is a full blown leadership crisis in the workplace and you can see leaders come and go- simply because there is not contextual setting and clarity on what is to be achieved and at what cost! If you ask me, another term for Leadership is Clarity of Purpose- when you have that, you are able to lead, yourself first and as that conviction led warmth spreads, other join you sooner than you think and you are well on your way to create new milestones in the task that you have chosen ahead!

To wrap it up, the next time, you come across a leader (not a manager) just know this, that the person has sacrificed something, you may know that or may never know that, but that is a given! Leadership is never about Lights, Camera, Action, It’s all about sweat, grit, determination, failures and bounce backs from one moment unto the next until the objective is achieved!

I leave you here, with these thoughts for no, do reflect, think about all the leaders you ever came across and what do you think their leadership cost them, and if you happen to be a leader (not a manager), what is the cost that you have paid and is it worth it?

Ciao for now, will be back soon! By the way, do get in touch with us for appointments pertaining to Leadership Coaching that we have now commenced! For more details drop in a mail or visit us at http://www.simplifylives.com