Learn to navigate the 99.99% crap!

As if the pandemic and a slowing global economy before that was not enough, we now have a whole community of morons and absolute idiots communicating and selling everything and anything promising everything but what a service or the product can do with that timeless 99.99% tag line somewhere around the communication!Join me here as we take a quick look into the what and why of this whole menace which seems to crop up each time humanity is faced with some odd, as if this was the elixir for which the pandemic had to happen for! What is really the unfolding and why do we, as humans individually and collectively get sold into this carp of 99.99% over and over again like a never ending roller coaster ride! So let’s move ahead!

Before you think, that I am one cynic of marketing, well I am not, what I am a little cynical about is, how people can be so gullible to buy into some stupid idea sold by someone who thinks they have been brilliant (while they are actually the ones’ who hang around on the edge of an average IQ which is fast diminishing with every weed and smoke that they consume!) which is anything but the truth! So from where does this whole crap of 99.99% emerge? Well to be honest, I did not have the time to do a thorough research, but my generous scientific and common sense based guess is that, sometime back somewhere in the streets of marketing some idiot would have done, at some point in time that unthinkable folly of claiming something to be 100% and would have ended up with tons and tons if law suits and claims, because of which this is the holy pathways that has been ever chosen- which is as senseless as the earlier one! This is so for the singular fact that no one really knows 99.99% of what! Sure enough, the labels and the packaging have all the technical narratives and explanations around “ideal conditions”, “test conditions”, “temperature, humidity conditions” so on and so forth, but still does not assure anything worthwhile or mean anything sensible that a scientific and rational mind may find it to be meaningful and welcoming! If you ask me, I think this is the biggest lie under the guise of marketing that has always been played over and over with consumers- whether they are consuming that priced cigar or that expensive piece of real estate or that odd perfume which is also labelled as “limited edition”! This whole 99.99% crap plays on one fundamental framework of the human mind- that intrinsic urge of the human brains to seek comparatives and alternatives (hardwired since our days of evolution to get the best of what we can in a “what if” scenario).

As the brain applies this frame to evaluate options that it is presented with (not that all of them have to existential choices- which they are turned into by those hyper smart catchy lines of a communication piece- at times hitting well below the belt of decency and ethics!) it ends up seeking short comparatives- data points, narratives, stories and as it does that what better and impactful then a few numbers- especially when they can be rounded off just below that magical 100, just a decimal or a few decimals short of it and there you go, you have a a great “stuck on” situation, wherein even an uninterested person is now going to stay for that extra fleeting second to know what that new crap of 99.99 % is about for this time! Let me tell you one thing, If you have someone that you care about in an ICU and your doctor wants to tell you the chances-you always want to hear is 100% and not anything short- simply because then you know that some shit is about to hit the roof- yet when the same garbage is served in a polished plate for some seemingly trivial product or service (which rip your wallets off using a baby face communication style) you are all ga ga and ready to lap to up like there is no tomorrow! So what is happening around with your mind? Why does it buy a set of numbers for one instance and relax for the other one?

Marketeers know this facet of the human mind too well to let that go (discount it, should I say!) you see the human brain, when left unto is more smarter then you! You see, the human mind is a powerful tool and runs on a very powerful sub-conscious engine, but when you begin to use it- the way you use it or not use it- greatly reduces the efficacy of that tool to help you and more often then not ends up harming you because the quality of choices that you force your brain to follow and there by the resulting actions take you onto a different route altogether! This is one of the reasons why not every scientist ends up being an Einstein and not every painter ends up being a Picasso! The moment your subconscious mind is fed with the 99.99% crap it knows it is all hog wash and relegates it as too trivial to engage with- basically it is telling you that this is all glorified garbage! But what happens here is that your interference and that dire need to socially conform to the masses around and ensure you don’t look like that child who missed out on that party “I was here”, “I too was here” kind of narrative nonsense buys up that crap and even as your brain may not want to, you end up splurging and buying that 99.99% of crap- knowing well all that it is being sold and all that promise of 99.99% has nothing to do with what the product or the services does and if there’s anything worthwhile that’s going to ever help you stay safe or sane it is going to be your own intrinsic unadulterated intelligence when applied right!

When the human mind notes that it’s laziness will not kill you, at times knowing your habit of overthinking and stretching, cribbing and sulking it simply gives up and gives into that stupid act of buying that dumb communication which promises a 99.99% free of virus, dark spots, blemishes, stains, surface cleansing and God alone knows what all! The sad part of all of this, people end up thinking they are being smart- when actually their own minds have really given up them from within , knowing that there is no end to this fool’s way of thinking! You see, you may have the most sophisticated brain on the planet, but if you decide to not use it for the purpose it was built and designed for, well you alone are to be blamed! if you buy a candles to keep your fire place warm! Well wait to see how wax shapes your melting future right in front of your eyes! So you may say fine, so what’s the problem if no one is getting killed? Does it really matter? Is it really that big deal?

Well ask any qualified psychologist and they will tell you, how big deal a conditioned mind can be especially when it is programmed and conditioned to crap theories and stimuli which go on to make it a wreaking machine rather then being a creative powerhouse! Through the story of human evolution, all greatness of the mind has almost always been achieved either in compelling situations of dire needs and existential crisis of societal proportions or these minds have flourished in times of serene calm and grandeur that made the minds to create and craft wonderful pieces of expression through science and arts! At no time was a mind ever able to produce a masterpiece which was calibrated at 99.99% of anything or something! Did you ever hear any scientists say that their discovery or innovation was 99.99%? I hope not! Deploying the human mind to read through the discount labels and 99.99% communication is nothing but an abuse of the magnificence of what the human brains is able to offer and gift us with! So what next?

Well to begin with allow science and common-sense to prevail! Sure enough if something doesn’t kill you enjoy the idiocracy around and smile about the dumbness around you (much needed in these times) but guard your mind- guard it fiercely from getting conditioned and receptive to these kind of false narratives and the only way to do that is to study the whole narrative of the 99.99% crap and see how the communication has been camouflaged and how smart of lousy that seems to the mind! This exercise alone will keep you mind ever more vigilant and ensure that the next time you get another piece of crap in your mail, you exactly know how to decipher what is not been said and what really the message is! As long s you are able to do this bit, your brain will be able to decipher and sieve through the onslaught of misdirected narratives and stories and promises which are anything but the truth and what’s more, you will be as sharp as you must and should be- no matter how dumb or idiotic the surrounding around you seem to be! Magically enough, the more you use your brain through the frame of enquiry and questioning based on rationality and science- you will begin to see dumbness and idiocracy more and more vividly and trust me, you will be entertained like no one else would ever have been! You will actual start to wonder if there has been a sudden surge in your IQ levels (which is unlikely of course) or is it that now you are able to see with more clarity all the crap that was always pushed towards you, simply because you took that small effort to change the frame of looking at the communication coming your way and did not lap it up as it came!

Well, I leave you here with these thoughts for now, urging you to see around your horizon to find instances of these 99.99% stories that are still nudging into your life all the time and see what is that you want to do about them, lap them up or decipher them and have a hearty laugh! These 99.99% stories are in a way also an indication of failing and falling creative opulence that humanity is now left around with and is reflective of the fact about how creative myopia sets in! Well, now if you want to know what is “creative myopia” all about, well I say, let’s look into that space some other time, perhaps the next article!

Ciao for now! Will be back soon and until then stay 100% at whatever you are and let that mean something sensible! Just remember you don’t want a doctor or that pilot flying your planet to be on anything less than 100% around you!

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