Tricked by your brain.

We live in an era, which is just that our brains need! Whether you struggle to take simple decisions or end up taking complex decisions on an impulse, whether it is signing up for the wrong vocation or whether it is taking the wrong bus- you can simply put the blame on your seemingly innocent brain- seemingly, because, no matter what your IQ is when the brain decides to call the shots, even the best of minds can go haywire! Join me here we take a sneak peek into this space and try to unravel what perhaps is happening here! So here we go!

There are many wise books out there, written by eminent neuro-scientists, psychologists, medical professionals, psychiatrists, behavioural experts; more or less all of them agree to one simple truth that the human brain is one fascinating machine that can throw all your theories and scientific analysis out of the mind and present situations that one has never thought of! Sure enough, through the last 100 years, as technological advancements have made it possible to assess and experiment the working of the brain- it has simultaneously thrown up more new questions than answers that it has found! Perhaps that explains why more and more medical professionals have started to agree that they don’t have answers to all questions and there is a point where even the best of scientific enquiry will fail and falter!

We dwell in times where instant gratification has got hard wired into us. One primary reason for that is essentially how we have kept evolving as collective societies- some places this aspect has played out more than elsewhere. The reason why instant gratification is so empowering is that, your brain’s love for inertia begins to blossom! Whether it is that communication about a remedy for looking fit, a chocolate that you can binge without worrying about sugar, or that air purifier which promises air as clean as whatever, fruits, apartments, job offers too? well our brains are always seeking to optimize the energy balance of our physical bodies- that implies effort / benefit analysis! So wherever and whenever your brain is able to decipher a decent trade off over effort and benefit- you are tricked! So what’s it’s about eating away that chocolate in the dead of the night, or finishing off those finger crisps while no one is watching, it’s all the part of the game! yes, sure enough office delegation techniques- both upward and downward too are a factor of this albeit with the compounding effect of the ever diminishing intelligence! So what’s the deal here? (another gratification question, I must agree!)

Simply put, our brain’s ability to decipher accurately the effort/ benefit space is what makes us as a species so unique and successful, no doubt around that. The problems start when the brain begins to deploy this while being influenced by inaccurate/misleading/ half-baked content that it receives! This is perhaps what throws even our poor brain off-guard- for beyond a point analysis will give into intermittent analytical paralysis and which will eventually grow into chronic indifference and apathy and end up changing your brain- from being an active -active discerning tool into a passive-passive reactive tool! You’ve heard about that phrase right, “Listen to Act, not to react” well, something like that, but sadly with more long lasting and damaging consequences!

An easy way to guard our brain, from reaching such a seemingly painful and unwarranted stage is to begin to filter what comes it’s way- the old adage “The company you keep!” Well, it works , whether you like it or not, be surrounded by people who are inspiring, more driven to specific causes, pursuing thoughts and ideas those are empowering and aimed for the larger good, looking outwards and upwards through sunshine and storm- this one simple trick will bring in a refreshing change and begin to re-wire and correct the lethargy and inertia over time as these more meaningful impressions begin to over-ride the cobwebs of the less serving and closed loop instances of the bygone time! As with people so with everything else, your choice of residence, it’s upkeep, the hobbies that you pursue, the vocation you choose (importantly the people you choose to work alongside or work for or have them work for you!), the books you read, the information that you soak in- what you allow to assimilate and what is that you filter and delete immediately- all this matters- even as much of this happens in an ongoing manner subconsciously, once you try to apply a focussed and directed effort to fine tune with some effort the results can be far more rewarding and enriching!

More often than not, you will also see that when it’s a fatigued brain, your ability to discern on a topic or task at hand, will seem to sway more towards an emotional response rather then being a calibrated rational discernment which is more logic and facts driven! This is another fall out a tired brain as it tries to strive a balance between the effort/ benefit space, the only undoing being that it’s perhaps not in the best of it’s health to do so! Something similar to wanting to lead when you are not ready for it, or trying to hit the asphalt when you are kind of a little tipsy, if not all sloshed! A tired brain, is in a simple mode- “If this doesn’t kill me, whatever action follows I am good!” so whether it is that meaningless shopping, only to come back and find out you have the same dress back home, or eating to realise, you actually have to rush to the washroom- because you lost track on the amount you binged! or many other such instances, which are almost always followed up with statements like “I should have, could have or would have” acted, done things differently!”

The trick to ensure that the brain is all wired right and is able to discern (and not emote) on the effort/benefit space is to keep it nourished and alert- as you may have guessed it a lot of that depends on what you consume and what is consuming you! Whether it is the food, the ambience, the people, the books, the social fabric around you- as long as you are able to soak in that adds value and empowers you to create lasting value- you will find your brain is as alert as that of a baby and is ready to usher in an eternal bounty of creativity/art and scientific enquiry based on the fundamental trait of a healthy brain- Inquisitiveness! A healthy brain, is always seeking, learning, un-learning, re-learning, adapting, adopting and building on what is meaningful and beneficial on the basis of rational and pragmatic discernment rather than an impulsive emotional response! I am no way suggesting that emoting is of secondary importance, rather when your brain is nourished you will find a greater degree of alignment between your rational discernment and your emotional responses and that’s when you hear the statements like “I love this life as I get to follow my passion and be successful through that!”

I leave you with these thoughts here, urging you to nourish your brain, as you must so that when you have a geared up brain, the tricks that it plays, empower and surprise you in a more welcoming and pleasant way, ensuring you follow a path of empowered thinking, creating more empowered actions for an empowered life!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another topic, until then stay wise, stay nourished and consume what empowers you, not what consumes you!

Buried by memories.

Hello there! Does your present life look like a burial ground of your memories every time you speak or do something? Well whether it is or it isn’t this article is just for you! As we age, no matter how fine tuned your brains is, it will start to play these magic tricks which take you along a guided tour of your memories- whether you want it or not and whether these memories are sweet or not! Join me here to understand how this impacts us and what is there that we can do about this, if there’s really anything that we can do and how can we use our memories to create an empowering present rather than be knocked down by them!

Each one of us has our own unique superpower and in the case of a few, that superpower happens to be the astonishing feats that their brain can achieve by replaying incidents and images from the past- with vivid details bordering on being outright spooky in a few cases! Any psychologist or a psychiatrist will be more qualified than me to share with you how memory helps and harms and what role it plays in constructing the person who we become- both in reality and in perception, but this piece is slightly of a different take on the same subject, it is about how even in day to day conversations and approach that we take- we relentlessly keep on going back to this memory bank (many times for no real reason) and that in fact ends up going more damage to us- especially when it doesn’t serve any purpose on our today or the fact approaching tomorrow! Let me explain!

What does your normal day look like? how many times during your day do you end up conversations referring to, “it was good then”, “this is what was done then”. “this is how it should, because that’s how I had seen it or done it”, “that vacation was great”, “that person is an idiot”, “those people are awesome”, “that family, that colleague, that friend, that cousin and so on and so forth”! You see, through the day at least once you will end up touching one of these chords- well there’s nothing wrong and right about it as long as it starts to interfere into what you are doing today! Sure enough if you are relying on your experience or learning to accomplish something, that still makes sense because here you are tapping into your memory cells to empower your today, the problems start to manifest, when you pluck the chords that don’t serve your present and neither seem to serve your future any time soon!

Sure enough, you would have had a great vacation, sure enough you would have had great colleagues and friends in life- but the only valid and golden questions is – how is any of that empowering your today? or how does any of it hold a promise to empower your future? If you have an answer- that they do- than hold on to those memories like your life depended on them- because these are not only your memories but, the tools that have the power and influence to shape your today and tomorrow. Everything else that you have stored in your brain and what you are able to recall- is pure waste of energy! Trust me, given the size that your brain is and the amount of tasks that it needs to get done- to just ensure you stay safe in a dumb world that we are living about it, it will only help the brain if you make a choice to weed out all that unwanted clutter from your memory bank and allow your brain to be that bit free to ensure it doesn’t get exhausted thinking about matters that really don’t matter!

Like with all else, the quality of memories that are recalled and that are stuck with you, go on to define the quality of your today and the arriving tomorrow! As long as you have un-serving, self-centric memories from your past (which perhaps stir up cautious to self-doubting tendencies) you will find those memories which border on being nightmares impact and dictate your ability to embrace the world as it really is- simply because your ability to perceive the world accurately gets fogged out by the overbearing presence of these nightmarish memories of the past! How many times have you said, “People from”xyz” are “abc” because you had a bad experience some time back?”, How many times you have made generalized, sweeping statements about people, religion, culture, vocation, orientation and what not- without really being bothered to know what the reality really is- just because your one experience made you feel that way!

Similarly, when you have empowering memories that added value to your in the past and show the promise to do the same in your today- those memory tires than constitute to add that vital touch of magic to further your shine in the world that you live in your today! Consider this, if you remember how you made a great mock-tail when you were in college and when you are able to spin the same magic at your daughter’s wedding reception- how does it feel for you and everyone- WOW right! That’s what meaningful memories are all about! This is how the magic of memories should be put to use, by not allowing them to bury you into your past but by rather allowing you to stay liberated in your present and by keeping you hopeful about your future!

As long as your memories are harnessed with the thought that they serve some purpose in your present or in the future, it’s best to have them buried away lest they come back to bury you in the present that you exist! Many problems manifest from this space of harnessing misplaced memories and these haunting memories in no time turn into nightmares and eventually begin to consume all the islands of calm that you may have within you and around you, because frankly no one really cares what happened in you past- you see even your boss doesn’t care of you were the beast employer last year or five years ago, if you are screwing up now and making it embarrassing for your boss “in the now”- that’s a good enough reason to fire you and get some peaceful sleep!

Perhaps the biggest mistake that people end up doing with their memories is that- they think others will be as excited as they themselves are and nothing could ever be farther from the truth! You see human memories are completely intimate and virtually second skin! They are only and only meant for consumption by the beholder of those memories. Thankfully, the way our brains are physiologically structured- it is often very difficult to narrate a memory without help of an external visual cue- consider this, say you want to describe that splendid Florida beach to your friend who has never been there- you can go on and on and even sing a song or write a poem- the other person is just going to end up thinking what an idiot you have been- it is only when you are able to share a snap or a video form that locale – will that person be able to relate, like, dislike, share a thought or an opinion and that if the person has a liking for the beach!- If the other person is a mountain or a plains lover- well you are toast and you can say bye bye to whatever fragile bond that you hold! This is what the magic of memories really is! They belong to the beholder and are for the beholder of the memories and do not call for participation of anyone else- unless they have been co-created by people with a singular thought for a purpose!

As one taps into their memories, sieves through them in the context of what empowers them and what harms them, it empowers an individual’s present once they are able to tap into the meaningful memories. This also helps to develop a sustainable charisma that goes a long way to help them navigate their world and better equips them to face their tomorrow!

I leave you here, for now, urging you to do a deep cleaning of your memory bank, weed out all that doesn’t serve you anymore, arrange what does and apply what helps so that you can empower your today on the foundation of your memories and not ever get worried about getting buried under their overbearing past from the past!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one, until then stay wise and stay safe!

Minding your mind!

We all live in times where distractions, interruptions and chaos play around us all the time and it is in these daunting spaces we are supposed to carry out our daily lives- well when it’s you private time, you can still choose what to do and where to be and how much shit of the world you ate wanting to accommodate; but the irony of life as it happens to be is that a lot of this unsolicited shit and clutter hits us when we are majorly trying to navigate through our professional spaces- irrespective whether you are a corporate chained performer or a self-driven (motivated or unmotivated) survivor, this is a reality that we all face- day in and day out! This piece of trying to make some sense of the nonsense around us!

What does your normal day look like? hectic, fast paced, slow, relaxing, chaotic, in-control…well you can go on with tons of adjectives to define how you feel, how your energy levels are and what your rhythm for the day is or will be- all in all it boils down to this- “Feeling – Thinking” axis within your brain and that’s where all the glory and misery of the world resides!

The human brain, by far the most complex piece of bio-engineering with a cocktail of chemicals that are all interlinked smartly just to ensure one thing- That you survive and don’t end up killing yourself doing stupid things! Our evolution has been gradual and so have our organs evolved to deal with ever increasing incremental complexities every few thousand odd years!. The magic word here is “incremental“. Consider a case in point, if you had a magic switch and took your tales iPhone and visited your ancestor say 4000 years ago or even say- 300 years ago- what do you think would happen?- well of course “nothing” because there would be no available reference cognition of what that weird thing is and what should be done with it! As you decide to return back to our present time, your old ancestor hands you a piece of bone which has rough edges and has a fine needle tip – so what do you make of it? Is it a needle or a knife? or is it an old chopstick? Well this is where your mind will be blanked out- because no matter how hard you try to understand- since you have not used the object- you too do not have a ready reference to utility and can just go on doing some second guessing unless your ancestor demonstrates! So what’s the point here? Well, very simple- Your brain will perform optimally only when it has clarity of context- and this clarity of context in whatever we choose to do is the essence of being mindful and learning how to deal with and reduce unwanted clutter that keeps on distracting you every now or then for good!

It is important to note that worthy distractions are not all that bad- your brain is a hardwired sensory organ that has one goal to keep you safe and kicking- sensing distractions by its natural way- the brain helps you avoid accidents and saves you from a lot of shit!- Each one of us has that memory when we slammed the brakes to save that idiot who just came in between! (and more often then not we are too surprised with our own speed to react to the emergency!). It is the stuff made up on unworthy and non-urgent distractions that leads to the fatigue and unwanted blurring of our abilities and these are more often to do with the settings of our workplace and our approach to that work and an intriguing interplay wherein others also contribute- either helping or harming us even more with each interaction!

The times of distraction that we live in about- that email- that whatsapp ping, that sms, that unwarranted call, all of these take away valuable seconds and play a focus dodge ball with your mind- result – you end up tiring it up more quickly and rapidly- as a result your brain starts to play its tricks- first it will ensure you slow down- make you crave for food (read sweets or carbs) make you eat more then what you should (fool you into this), once you have hogged- digestion takes precedence over thinking and your brain is more focused internally and your razor sharp focus is blunted rapidly- until a point either you goof up big time or are smart to pull up that coffee cup and dowse your brain tricks with a quick shot of caffeine right to where it hurts! This is pay-back time to trick your brain and trying to tell it- “Shut up dude- have this caffeine and let’s get the job done!”

People do not realise how damaging distractions can be and the kind of havoc they can create- consider few examples- crossing the road, driving while dabbling with you cell phone- result- fatal and dangerous, getting distracted by a call as you type a mail and send it without a re-check to your client! Just as you are typing away something really important- that odd ping from a social handle and there goes your focus for a long holiday- So how do we manage this? is this manageable in the first place?

Well the simple answer is yes and no! Yes, indeed this menace can be managed and the challenge well, you need to make a directed effort towards it! If you were to observe people who have excelled at sports of some type of artistic expression (dancing, painting, theater) , one common aspect that becomes really evident is their ability to drift between sessions of razor sharp focus and relaxing away or dreaming on! The trick is to strike a balance and ensure that the brain is utilized and relaxed in an optimum cycle to ensure that fatigue doesn’t set in, nor is the focus compromised! We need to adopt a similar stance while dealing with distractions at work- whether they are those pesky emails, calls, or unwarranted meetings- we need to strike a razor sharp focus when we have the “me time” at work and ensure that we are relaxed yet attentive as we create work through collaborations- This apparently is one reason that new age organisations always talk about relaxed rule books and casual settings (but do remember that never implies they are not serious about their numbers or profits) all they are saying is “our thinking gets rewarded by the setting- it tricks the brain into relaxation thereby ensuring the focus can be sustained and productivity enhanced even more!”

So, here you go, learn to balance your mind like a ballerina, being swift and still in the same stance! Learn to know when to pick that call, check that phone or that email and know when to shut down your gadgets and allow yourself to escape into the fictional wilderness created by your amazing brain!

I leave you here, with possibly a cup of your favorite drink, to plan how you want to create focus and space at the same time so that you can Mind your mind and a minded mind helps you mind the world eventually! Bye for now!

Deciphering the Hate rhetoric!

Whether we agree or not, we see an ever increasing instance of hate and negative emotions at play around us;more then ever before and ironically these are “allowed to be ok”! When we genuinely come across “normal good behavior” (which by itself is a rarity!) we start to doubt intentions of people! This piece is about trying to see what causes this anomaly and how can we deal with it- should we join the bandwagon of hate or should we be doubting every person around us!

Human brain is simply brilliant- ask any psychiatrist, psychologist and have a chat with that young neurosurgeon who just got a chance to open up and see one! All of them(irrespective of their approach of study) will agree to one thing- this is one machine that evolution has been absolutely brilliant at- so much so that even decades after the first time the brain was surgically opened up- it still keeps throwing surprises – when it heals and when it ends up having a mind of it’s own!

The human brain, like any machine provides an output proportional to the input. You feed it with garbage- garbage will flow out; feed it with stimulating and complex challenges, it will throw out ingenious solutions and provide answers (almost always) either by itself or by collaborating with other working brains (read progressive and purpose driven team work!). Now the million dollar question- If the brain is so evolved and able to take wise decisions- what in the world is wrong with it- when you actually see people, leaders alike using negative emotions and “hate” in particular as a rhetoric to address and reach out to masses or communities! What’s going wrong here? The answer lies in the hard wiring of our brains!

Through evolution, the brain has developed ensuring that as species we survive- the onslaught of nature, wild animals and eventually are able to ensure individual succession through battling and protecting oneself from other tribes and clans- it was and is the master control- to ensure the survival of the fittest all through evolutionary history of human species- and evolution never stops- its an ongoing phenomenon- which is on even now as I type this and you read this and will go on long after you and I do not exist! The earlier battles were simple and more of an survival instinct- with time as societies evolved, safety and security was more or less settled, the brain started to navigate the nuances of living with more and more number of people like never before and that’s where societal structures and rules began to came into play- this order was necessary to ensure channeling of human resources happened optimally through division of labor or other structures that a society would have had. At this point of inflection- as human greed began to take seed more then ever before- the brain started to learn the traits that today display all the negative elements and more importantly of societal level and community level hate mongering!

This hate and despise rhetoric when carefully deciphered originates form nothing else but “insecurity”. That feeling of being inferior to someone or something- ideologically, financially (which limits the access to perceived comforts) and a touch of attention seeking disorder – a blend of all this leads to that vitriolic “hate” rhetoric. Insecurities- at individual level and society or community level can further originate from a number of socio-economic or political reasons- it could be neglect of a section of a society for a long time- depriving them of certain societal benefits because of who they are or what they are; there can be a hundred reasons why certain actions would have been taken towards specific segments of society/communities across the world- not all of them would be right and neither all of them would be wrong! It is in this grey space that all unfulfilled and half-served promises stay on like eternal ghosts and demons which go on to infect the most vulnerable sections of the modern days societies at both individual and community level!

At times, when long deprived sections of societies seem to develop and contribute in an increasing manner and seem to have better control and better solutions for the larger good, vested interests tend to come out to play and distort the trajectory under the garb that the majority and puritanical fabric of a said society is under threat (sounds familiar- well it should- no matter where you are on the world map now- this is exactly what is being played out and irrespective which side you are and who’s right and whos’ wrong (this is a mind-game that tricks individual brains into believing one thing and later as a collective society ends up doing exactly the opposite!) I will share a case in point here- Individually every brain (unless you are a clinically certified psychopath) knows that arson, abuse, violence (physical and otherwise) is unbecoming of being human being (keep aside all other values systems and belief systems for a moment- they are not even needed at this stage)- next you add another half a dozen brains- add a layer of a value system or belief that “because of “x”, “y” is not available and to achieve “y” we must enact “z”- That’s about it- it is this small aorta of collective hallucination and distortion in the thinking cycle that is needed to lead to a full blown crisis of captivated and manipulated thinking process that will undermine every ounce of common-sense, ethics and individualistic values systems of mutual care for ages to come- just one figment of collective distorted thinking- all that is needed to let all hell break loose- now with a population of over 7.5 Billion, coupled with an ever increasing insecurity at play- internationally, within nations, within regions of a nation and within cities and societies within a region- Now you know why “hate and despise” is so easy! and readily available for serving hot and cold all the time!

Science has ample evidence that the right to uphold value systems and beliefs which service the larger and greater good and difficult to come up with and even more difficult to sustain in an ever changing dynamic world wherein even friendships between nations seem to flirtatious at their best! Alongside this , you have the quick service restaurants that serve hate and vitriolic rhetoric by the dozen and on order, 24 hours a day! No wonder that when genuinely good humans walk by- we either end up awarding them after they are dead or award them the highest peace time awards and technically make them redundant so that they are as ineffective as the awards been given to them!

More importantly for the average person on the street, the world over the dilemma to trust, invest and hold the hands of a stranger seems to just become more complicated because of these varied and paradoxical hues that modern days societies preset themselves as! The ensuing result- No commitment for any relationship- within the family or elsewhere- modern day societies are turning into more and more individualistic silos hidden away within a fragile shell – add a little pressure of insecurity and each element within the shell will crack and stand up for himself/herself- there is no more “WE” and the “I” although looks good;, seldom stands a chance of defending or defeating anything worthwhile! So how do we manage this? Can we?

Well to be very honest, societies where hate/despise is served by so-called leaders of the society- God alone can help! The only other way to turn around such deeply flawed societies is a comprehensive revolution and well – history knows, revolutions are filled with sweat and blood- apparent or real! The cost of a revolution is evaluated by the benefit that will ensue once the dust settles- if there is no great incentive- then societies stagnate and implode within; too weak and too starved to even voice out anything- forget about addressing the world! But there is hope and the hope comes from the ingenuity of the brain itself- as like minded brains connect and interact and as they grow in number through education and progress of the said society-the more accommodating and human thinking gets ground- fewer will be the oddities that relish on hate and hence eventually they will get weeded out by Thought- The power of Human Thought- seeded by right education that embraces the over arching principle of being human and fostering care and affection for fellow humans is the only answer that societies can give to the underlying demons of hate despise which at times are apparent and other times lie in the wait to capture the weak links and bring havoc to our otherwise serene thinking!

I leave you with these thought, grab your coffee and seek the sane part of you and see how trusting you are and how others feel around you- that my friend is the first step to ensure and spread the warmth in the society which will dispel the ghosts of hate and despise- One enlightened mind and One warm soul at a time is all that it takes! Until next time ciao!