Hello there! Does your present life look like a burial ground of your memories every time you speak or do something? Well whether it is or it isn’t this article is just for you! As we age, no matter how fine tuned your brains is, it will start to play these magic tricks which take you along a guided tour of your memories- whether you want it or not and whether these memories are sweet or not! Join me here to understand how this impacts us and what is there that we can do about this, if there’s really anything that we can do and how can we use our memories to create an empowering present rather than be knocked down by them!
Each one of us has our own unique superpower and in the case of a few, that superpower happens to be the astonishing feats that their brain can achieve by replaying incidents and images from the past- with vivid details bordering on being outright spooky in a few cases! Any psychologist or a psychiatrist will be more qualified than me to share with you how memory helps and harms and what role it plays in constructing the person who we become- both in reality and in perception, but this piece is slightly of a different take on the same subject, it is about how even in day to day conversations and approach that we take- we relentlessly keep on going back to this memory bank (many times for no real reason) and that in fact ends up going more damage to us- especially when it doesn’t serve any purpose on our today or the fact approaching tomorrow! Let me explain!
What does your normal day look like? how many times during your day do you end up conversations referring to, “it was good then”, “this is what was done then”. “this is how it should, because that’s how I had seen it or done it”, “that vacation was great”, “that person is an idiot”, “those people are awesome”, “that family, that colleague, that friend, that cousin and so on and so forth”! You see, through the day at least once you will end up touching one of these chords- well there’s nothing wrong and right about it as long as it starts to interfere into what you are doing today! Sure enough if you are relying on your experience or learning to accomplish something, that still makes sense because here you are tapping into your memory cells to empower your today, the problems start to manifest, when you pluck the chords that don’t serve your present and neither seem to serve your future any time soon!
Sure enough, you would have had a great vacation, sure enough you would have had great colleagues and friends in life- but the only valid and golden questions is – how is any of that empowering your today? or how does any of it hold a promise to empower your future? If you have an answer- that they do- than hold on to those memories like your life depended on them- because these are not only your memories but, the tools that have the power and influence to shape your today and tomorrow. Everything else that you have stored in your brain and what you are able to recall- is pure waste of energy! Trust me, given the size that your brain is and the amount of tasks that it needs to get done- to just ensure you stay safe in a dumb world that we are living about it, it will only help the brain if you make a choice to weed out all that unwanted clutter from your memory bank and allow your brain to be that bit free to ensure it doesn’t get exhausted thinking about matters that really don’t matter!
Like with all else, the quality of memories that are recalled and that are stuck with you, go on to define the quality of your today and the arriving tomorrow! As long as you have un-serving, self-centric memories from your past (which perhaps stir up cautious to self-doubting tendencies) you will find those memories which border on being nightmares impact and dictate your ability to embrace the world as it really is- simply because your ability to perceive the world accurately gets fogged out by the overbearing presence of these nightmarish memories of the past! How many times have you said, “People from”xyz” are “abc” because you had a bad experience some time back?”, How many times you have made generalized, sweeping statements about people, religion, culture, vocation, orientation and what not- without really being bothered to know what the reality really is- just because your one experience made you feel that way!
Similarly, when you have empowering memories that added value to your in the past and show the promise to do the same in your today- those memory tires than constitute to add that vital touch of magic to further your shine in the world that you live in your today! Consider this, if you remember how you made a great mock-tail when you were in college and when you are able to spin the same magic at your daughter’s wedding reception- how does it feel for you and everyone- WOW right! That’s what meaningful memories are all about! This is how the magic of memories should be put to use, by not allowing them to bury you into your past but by rather allowing you to stay liberated in your present and by keeping you hopeful about your future!
As long as your memories are harnessed with the thought that they serve some purpose in your present or in the future, it’s best to have them buried away lest they come back to bury you in the present that you exist! Many problems manifest from this space of harnessing misplaced memories and these haunting memories in no time turn into nightmares and eventually begin to consume all the islands of calm that you may have within you and around you, because frankly no one really cares what happened in you past- you see even your boss doesn’t care of you were the beast employer last year or five years ago, if you are screwing up now and making it embarrassing for your boss “in the now”- that’s a good enough reason to fire you and get some peaceful sleep!
Perhaps the biggest mistake that people end up doing with their memories is that- they think others will be as excited as they themselves are and nothing could ever be farther from the truth! You see human memories are completely intimate and virtually second skin! They are only and only meant for consumption by the beholder of those memories. Thankfully, the way our brains are physiologically structured- it is often very difficult to narrate a memory without help of an external visual cue- consider this, say you want to describe that splendid Florida beach to your friend who has never been there- you can go on and on and even sing a song or write a poem- the other person is just going to end up thinking what an idiot you have been- it is only when you are able to share a snap or a video form that locale – will that person be able to relate, like, dislike, share a thought or an opinion and that if the person has a liking for the beach!- If the other person is a mountain or a plains lover- well you are toast and you can say bye bye to whatever fragile bond that you hold! This is what the magic of memories really is! They belong to the beholder and are for the beholder of the memories and do not call for participation of anyone else- unless they have been co-created by people with a singular thought for a purpose!
As one taps into their memories, sieves through them in the context of what empowers them and what harms them, it empowers an individual’s present once they are able to tap into the meaningful memories. This also helps to develop a sustainable charisma that goes a long way to help them navigate their world and better equips them to face their tomorrow!
I leave you here, for now, urging you to do a deep cleaning of your memory bank, weed out all that doesn’t serve you anymore, arrange what does and apply what helps so that you can empower your today on the foundation of your memories and not ever get worried about getting buried under their overbearing past from the past!
Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one, until then stay wise and stay safe!
An Aura of Fleeting Thoughts 