past – An Aura of Fleeting Thoughts

Hello there! Does your present life look like a burial ground of your memories every time you speak or do something? Well whether it is or it isn’t this article is just for you! As we age, no matter how fine tuned your brains is, it will start to play these magic tricks which take you along a guided tour of your memories- whether you want it or not and whether these memories are sweet or not! Join me here to understand how this impacts us and what is there that we can do about this, if there’s really anything that we can do and how can we use our memories to create an empowering present rather than be knocked down by them!

Each one of us has our own unique superpower and in the case of a few, that superpower happens to be the astonishing feats that their brain can achieve by replaying incidents and images from the past- with vivid details bordering on being outright spooky in a few cases! Any psychologist or a psychiatrist will be more qualified than me to share with you how memory helps and harms and what role it plays in constructing the person who we become- both in reality and in perception, but this piece is slightly of a different take on the same subject, it is about how even in day to day conversations and approach that we take- we relentlessly keep on going back to this memory bank (many times for no real reason) and that in fact ends up going more damage to us- especially when it doesn’t serve any purpose on our today or the fact approaching tomorrow! Let me explain!

What does your normal day look like? how many times during your day do you end up conversations referring to, “it was good then”, “this is what was done then”. “this is how it should, because that’s how I had seen it or done it”, “that vacation was great”, “that person is an idiot”, “those people are awesome”, “that family, that colleague, that friend, that cousin and so on and so forth”! You see, through the day at least once you will end up touching one of these chords- well there’s nothing wrong and right about it as long as it starts to interfere into what you are doing today! Sure enough if you are relying on your experience or learning to accomplish something, that still makes sense because here you are tapping into your memory cells to empower your today, the problems start to manifest, when you pluck the chords that don’t serve your present and neither seem to serve your future any time soon!

Sure enough, you would have had a great vacation, sure enough you would have had great colleagues and friends in life- but the only valid and golden questions is – how is any of that empowering your today? or how does any of it hold a promise to empower your future? If you have an answer- that they do- than hold on to those memories like your life depended on them- because these are not only your memories but, the tools that have the power and influence to shape your today and tomorrow. Everything else that you have stored in your brain and what you are able to recall- is pure waste of energy! Trust me, given the size that your brain is and the amount of tasks that it needs to get done- to just ensure you stay safe in a dumb world that we are living about it, it will only help the brain if you make a choice to weed out all that unwanted clutter from your memory bank and allow your brain to be that bit free to ensure it doesn’t get exhausted thinking about matters that really don’t matter!

Like with all else, the quality of memories that are recalled and that are stuck with you, go on to define the quality of your today and the arriving tomorrow! As long as you have un-serving, self-centric memories from your past (which perhaps stir up cautious to self-doubting tendencies) you will find those memories which border on being nightmares impact and dictate your ability to embrace the world as it really is- simply because your ability to perceive the world accurately gets fogged out by the overbearing presence of these nightmarish memories of the past! How many times have you said, “People from”xyz” are “abc” because you had a bad experience some time back?”, How many times you have made generalized, sweeping statements about people, religion, culture, vocation, orientation and what not- without really being bothered to know what the reality really is- just because your one experience made you feel that way!

Similarly, when you have empowering memories that added value to your in the past and show the promise to do the same in your today- those memory tires than constitute to add that vital touch of magic to further your shine in the world that you live in your today! Consider this, if you remember how you made a great mock-tail when you were in college and when you are able to spin the same magic at your daughter’s wedding reception- how does it feel for you and everyone- WOW right! That’s what meaningful memories are all about! This is how the magic of memories should be put to use, by not allowing them to bury you into your past but by rather allowing you to stay liberated in your present and by keeping you hopeful about your future!

As long as your memories are harnessed with the thought that they serve some purpose in your present or in the future, it’s best to have them buried away lest they come back to bury you in the present that you exist! Many problems manifest from this space of harnessing misplaced memories and these haunting memories in no time turn into nightmares and eventually begin to consume all the islands of calm that you may have within you and around you, because frankly no one really cares what happened in you past- you see even your boss doesn’t care of you were the beast employer last year or five years ago, if you are screwing up now and making it embarrassing for your boss “in the now”- that’s a good enough reason to fire you and get some peaceful sleep!

Perhaps the biggest mistake that people end up doing with their memories is that- they think others will be as excited as they themselves are and nothing could ever be farther from the truth! You see human memories are completely intimate and virtually second skin! They are only and only meant for consumption by the beholder of those memories. Thankfully, the way our brains are physiologically structured- it is often very difficult to narrate a memory without help of an external visual cue- consider this, say you want to describe that splendid Florida beach to your friend who has never been there- you can go on and on and even sing a song or write a poem- the other person is just going to end up thinking what an idiot you have been- it is only when you are able to share a snap or a video form that locale – will that person be able to relate, like, dislike, share a thought or an opinion and that if the person has a liking for the beach!- If the other person is a mountain or a plains lover- well you are toast and you can say bye bye to whatever fragile bond that you hold! This is what the magic of memories really is! They belong to the beholder and are for the beholder of the memories and do not call for participation of anyone else- unless they have been co-created by people with a singular thought for a purpose!

As one taps into their memories, sieves through them in the context of what empowers them and what harms them, it empowers an individual’s present once they are able to tap into the meaningful memories. This also helps to develop a sustainable charisma that goes a long way to help them navigate their world and better equips them to face their tomorrow!

I leave you here, for now, urging you to do a deep cleaning of your memory bank, weed out all that doesn’t serve you anymore, arrange what does and apply what helps so that you can empower your today on the foundation of your memories and not ever get worried about getting buried under their overbearing past from the past!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one, until then stay wise and stay safe!

Hello there! This article is not about the the “All will be ok” manual for your this life and next life, but what I want to share with you through this piece, is about reflecting on few aspects which you would know the best, simply because, no matter who says what, You and you alone are the master of your life and you get to chart the course of your life! So let’s move ahead!

Change is something that we all love (heart in heart) but as we are told, it’s on the way, we start with a certain about of rebellion! Consider this, we all know as kids, our parents asked us, requested us and whacked us on multiple issues whether, it was about brushing twice a day, saying our prayers, keeping the room neat and tidy, helping with domestic chores, you think about it- and each one of us has a story to relate to this aspect of our lives! As we look back to those incidents which could be anywhere from few years ago to maybe decades ago- we realize how foolish and futile was it to just say no – to brush our teeth twice, keep our rooms tidy etc. etc. So what is happening here, why is it that whether it be the boss in our office, or the homes that we come from, every time that something changes- why do we start with a freaking “NO”? Why is it this way?

Well, the answer lies in the most primitive part of our brain- a part of the brain which has been programmed through evolution to “Always keep doing what you have been doing”- simply because that has not killed or harmed you! That’s why you get the cold sweat each time you want to try a new sea food, or think about changing your job or experience that fear of being fired or simply the challenges with moving houses so on and so forth! The human mind (in it’s true and natural way) has been programmed to keep us healthy and safe- hence it works well with repetitive chores and functions, however with evolution and development- few of us have been able to adapt and overcome this strong primitive desire to stay anchored and have embraced the world of curiosity- this happens only when individuals experience a powerful trigger at vital points through their life- the triggers could be positive or negative- but what they do is propel your thinking to disregards the primitive, cautious approach to embrace a new more risk seeking and adventurous route- which when works- make people successful, innovative and leaders to a new aspect of life and when it doesn’t work- well not many come to know about it and soon you are coiled back to your own original lesser self doing what can be done effortlessly just to ensure you stay alive!

Change and Uncertainty, since ancient times have been the fundamental reasons for the advancement and destruction of human civilizations and I believe that this is perhaps a cycle as ancient as the planet itself! If you see deeper, the problem is not really with the Change or the Uncertainty- It has got more to do with what is being communicated about these aspects to the people- by those who they trust- which makes all the difference between accepting and embracing change or raking up a complete rebellious situation! The essence for helping Individuals to embrace change is about crafting and designing a powerful, yet simple communication which connects and directs them to act in a way which helps them internalize the oncoming change and makes it their second nature! Once this is done as change gets closer, it feels like their second skin and not something alien which they may get spooked by!

Uncertainty is like the older cousin of Change , because Uncertainty can get along Change or Change can bring along Uncertainty! Either ways they are never far away from each other! How one treats one of them goes a long way with what the other aspect is going to throw at the Individual! Consider this, You come to know, because of this CCP Virus, you are technically screwed up and have no clarity on your next pay check! Well there you have a forced change and uncertainty walking right through the front door towards you! Now what do you? Well you have a choice to make either you talk with Uncertainty and plan to deal with Change or you strike a conversation with Change and then try to figure out the extent of uncertainty and it’s nature! Either approach will help you take some meaningful action which will ensure that none of the other negative manifestations of Change and Uncertainty (like paranoia, anxiety, PTSD etc which can set into your mind and unleash havoc!).

The only way to deal with change and uncertainty is to embrace it, acknowledge it and accept it. It doesn’t get simpler than this! As an individual you need to come to the present time- be in the now- away from your dreamy past of I could, I would and staying away from your anxious future- which keep on rattling of things which commence with I will, I can etc.. you need ton be firmly anchored into the present moment to make any and all sense of what the coming Change and Uncertainty is trying to communicate to you! Once you have deciphered what the message is, than moving ahead into the next moment becomes a breeze and you will find that these very elements of Change and Uncertainty become your allies and help you propel into the future! The trick here is about understanding the coded message that Change brings along!

Change often communicates only one of the few things; It could be- a) Keep going- race ahead or slow down. b) Stop and Think or c) Take a detour fast or slow! It can never be anything else, and once you have figured this out- you probably also come to know why the onset of change is manifesting to begin with! Once this vital aspect is understood than embracing change and dealing with Uncertainty becomes fairly simple! Uncertainty by itself has got to with our own misplaced anticipations and expectations from unfolding events! Uncertainty is noting else but what our minds refuse to accept and it gets compounded when we simply refuse to apply ourselves and work towards confronting it (with the know- how that comes to us once change has been deciphered). Once we learn about the essence of Change, resolving Uncertainty becomes easier as we start to work in the direction that increases predictability of outcomes and clarity- this approach alone clear away the fog of uncertainty which otherwise can assume demonic proportions and create demons in our heads for no apparent reason!

I will leave you here and urge you to reflect and think what was your experience like, the last time when Change came knocking to your door with it’s cousin- Uncertainty! Did it make you or break you?

Ciao for now and will be back soon, until than take care and stay wise!