Month: September 2020

Know the knot.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

As trivial it may seem, do not be fooled, for the humble knot tells a lot about who got it done and who will get it undone! Join me here as we try to fathom this seemingly simple aspect of our life, but has a big message for all of us, whether we are the ones’ putting the knots in, getting them out or simply playing the role of an observer.

Perhaps the biggest playtime for few kids, and I say few kids here, has always been about getting to know the knot and in that process, getting to know a little bit more about themselves! You see the knot is essentially, by itself -nothing, but it rather becomes easy or difficult as a function of the person who decides to have a go at it, either by tying the knot in or by untying the same!

The biggest strength and perhaps the most fragile aspects of the human brain lies in the ability to perceive what is being presented- more often people end up spending their lives battling and waging wars against perceptions rather than focusing on what really the matters are or perhaps ought to be! This is what also is true about the “knot”! People often come in two broad groups, if you ask me, one is the group that simply relishes on creating the knots and untying the knots and you have another one which has no other role but to either avoid the knot either out of ignorance or fear, or just look out for people to help as soon as they realize that they just have unintentionally either created one or untied a knot, which was meant to remain the way it was!

So why is that some people relish the knot, while others avoid? Well, there could be varied reasons for that, but this happens to be the fundamental aspects of human societies and the way we shape ourselves, individually and collectively as societies, this is also what further gets reflected into the advancements and development potential that societies are able to embark upon- societies that have an uncanny accommodating approach to knots – creating them and deciphering them needless to day, race ahead and stay in control of not only their immediate contextual needs of today and tomorrow, but also play a pivotal role in determining the path for the times ahead for everyone else to follow, collaborate and share!

The whole human defiance and avoidance of the “knot” arises because the normal- majoritarian views about the knot across societies have been associating it with a problem- and more importantly as a difficult to solve problem, but the point that majority of these societies end up missing out completely is that, beyond that problem stance lies the real realm of creating something new, unveiling new frontiers by answering questions never answered before! The tighter the knot, the more exclusive the knot, the rewards for finding that answer by untying the knot are all the more greater and satisfying! Need proof for this, check all the discoveries and inventions of the 19th century- whatever field you choose- you will see a singular construct of the relentless pursuits of intelligent minds to answer a question- a pursuit to untie the knot and create history by opening up possibilities that were locked in time of the knot that locked away!

There is another aspect to the knot thought and that is of letting the knot be where it is! You do remember when the knot would have saved the life of someone you know- if you were anytime with the scouts or the national defence guards or some sort of civil defence set up on your society! If you are a mountaineer, who else will be better to know the value of those fluid knots on that rappelling line! Those are the fleeting moments when your life is literally hung on by knots on the line and the flex over the line! If one goes wrong, you are sure to find yourself in some trouble!

Knots, like human virtues have no other layer to who they are and what they are- the only thing that differentiates between a workable and meaningful knot and the odd knot (which is meant to be left the way it is) is what lies within and beyond it, once it is untied! So this brings us to the effort aspect of untying the knot, as I said earlier, only a small portion of humanity will ever want to untie a knot, in the era that we live in, where cutting the line almost always sounds, fast, classical and effective- well nothing to argue on that bit, next time try asking the surgeon do it while your angioplasty is on! Knots that hold value/ contents whose time has arrived are meant to be unlocked and these are the knots that propel humanity ahead- a few risk to solve the challenged at hand and serve the whole humanity- development of cutting edge technologies in aerospace, medicine are all a apart of this space! Next, you have those knots- which are best left untouched and unmoved- for they hold the power to undo everything that has been achieved till that moment- these knots can manifest either as a technology that has a larger double edged attribute or some ideology that has the ability to ruin everything that has ever been created until the moment that they are set loose! Sounds, familiar, yes pretty much they are and in fact it is the fallacy of humanity that as a race we have globally ended up untying more and more of these less serving or rather counter productive knots than the ones’ we should have actually untied! Why we end up doing this? Well, the answer to that lies over the past knots that we have chosen to untie!

If you think everything to do with knots has limitations only to the societal frame, well think about it! Take a pause and reflect into your own efforts at the very intrinsic level and what do you see, what are the type of knots have you been tying up, untying, avoiding, dealing with and how has that effort lead you to where you are in the journey of your life, has that propelled you or has that made you take a detour or has that halted you dead in your tracks to where you want to go! Well this is the space where the knots become very private, real and intense and it is the choices that we as individuals then go on ti make- informed or other wise that ends up us either being served by these knots that come our way or we end up being entrapped within them and then are just left at the mercy of one knot unto the next in a seemingly never ending knotted existence of our life- where the only goal seems to be moving form one knot to the next, while untying none!

Knots, have a character too and that character is a combination of what that knot is about and who is tying up that knot or untying that knot! As the knot gets untied or is let loose, all that character is let loose and how much one is able to manage that aspect goes on to determine what element of that knot will come to play a major role!

Well, given the limitations of being a blog, I would not want to (no matter how much I would have loved to) dwell and deep dive into the different types of knots their manifestations and the whole aspect of either dealing with them or living with them, but I would want to stop short for now, here with a thought- a singular thought that says and conveys only one thing- Know your knots, for which you untie and which you keep closed- determine where you head and what you become and perhaps what you don’t become!

I leave you with these thoughts for now, take a break, grab that coffee and think about the knots as you have time- examine which served you well and which harmed you well, for what you are today is a sum total of all those knots that came your way and all those that are lined up will go on to make who you will be in the times ahead!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Stay safe, stay wise – knotted or otherwise!

The Courage Collective.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

Courage is perhaps the most time sensitive of all attributes that we can behold and deploy! Use it wisely, at the right time and in the right proportion, it can work wonders, any imbalance in that deployment, either with the timing or the proportionality and you will in all probability end up more exhausted and famished rather than feeling like a victor! Join me here as we explore what makes courage so elusive and slippery to work with and why when it works it creates history more often than not!

Unlike what the normal belief is, courage is nothing glamorous and neither is it an unfolding moment; courage is actually the manifestation of all that you are in that moment of action! Courage is all your experience, knowledge, wisdom, intelligence and intuition applied in that moment to engage with what is coming your way- by exercising the choice for the style of engagement! Courage has never been about being that fluke of eccentric voyeurism and risk taking behaviour rather it has always been about calibrating the risks and working always towards avoiding and dealing with minimal risk at all times! So you may now want to ask, if this is what it is, then why have people glorified and written pages and pages through history about courage? Well it sells! Let me explain!

How would you feel if a military general told you that he won the war because he trained well, or how would you feel if the doctor told you that his exceptional skills at operating sick people came to him by hard work and training, or how about that school teacher- if the teacher told you that dealing with kids and educating them is what they are thoroughly trained for!- Well nothing inspires here, right- they are doing all that they are supposed to , win wars, heal people and uplift the next generation! Now if the same thing is re-presented to you as , “the military general, sensed that opportunity in a fleeting moment and acted with valor”, or that “surgeon acted instinctively and aggressively to stabilize the patient and revive from the brink of death” or “the school teacher- empathized and saw the things as the kids saw them to create that unparalleled learning experience!” Well, basically the same thing, expressed differently! So while the earlier narration lacked the dramatization through the play of words than the later, it communicated the same thing and so did the later approach, albeit with that drama added! This is exactly where courage gets lost in translation, if I have to put it in that way! You see, the act of being courageous is intrinsic and as I said earlier, is more reflective of who we are and what all we can get to that moment to face, sustain, avoid or overcome the challenge that we face, so whether one showers generous words or not- the element of courage and valor doesn’t diminish or change!

In fact, the misconception about the over- rated and over-glorification of courage happens more than anything is because, people who record, document and share it, do so after the event and than thats where their own personalities and figments of imagination start to play mind games- to try and feel what the characters of the story would have experienced- irrespective whether that is real or not and this is why courage gets distorted when it comes to its real essence and rightful representation! Courage is not in the moment- courage leads to the moment and helps one sustain and overcome and move unto the next by acting with intent, purpose and direction!

Real courage is rustic, ageing and non-glamorous- something pretty much what an iron- smith of the yesteryear were! Courage gets forged by the variation in experiences that one gets, the contextual settings, the intrinsic value systems, belief tables, intellect and how one chooses to deploy and use these to ones’ own advantage or to the service of others! Like all other human virtues, courage too, when used to self-serve is always short lived and unless there is enough goodness for the many around, the highs experienced will fade away much rapidly than they come in! Unlike other virtues the one place where courage differs, is that it depends a lot more on the contextual settings and the wisdom and alignment of the people around! Let me quickly explain this bit too!

You may be a wise person, living ahead of your times, say a scientist or perhaps an innovator and who has been able to come up with something unique to offer to the world around you- but if that world around you is pathetically dumb (sounds familiar!), ignorant or indifferent, guess what is going to unfold? All of that you have come up with is going to be wasted! Not because you were the problem, but the contextual settings around you were! You may want to ask- where’s courage in all this? Well courage is very much at the centre of all this!

You see, even for that individual scientists/ innovator to come up with something knowing that the society around may or may not lap it up – would have been a very bold and courageous step to take to begin with! So this is where, courage gets wasted away- knowing that you are courageous or have the ability to deploy bold and courageous actions is one thing, but doing it when the contextual settings are aligned is more important! This is what makes courage- so much intrinsic and extrinsic at the same time! Like a Leader without followers and Followers with no one to Lead- Courage applied at the wrong time or for the wrong reason- just fades away and is the essence of all the great failures of humanity which just missed being the headlines- either because they were ahead of their times, in the wrong contextual settings or simply because they were meant to be going that way!

Like other virtues another interesting space around courage is the factor of proportionality! Everyone likes to see the good crush the bad, everyone likes the right to win over the not-so-right, but now if you alter that question, how much force and how much of crush will you want to allow to prove your point of right being over the wrong- you will get a wide range of responses- ranging from total annihilation to the extreme other end of forgive- forget and join together type of a reaction! So what does this say? How much courage is enough- can courage be detrimental and can it backfire too?

The falsified stories around courage to be brutal, fierce, fast and rapid have just gone on to make more and more people fall prey to that fallacy and the results have been erroneous, disastrous and far from what they could have been, we all know about when nations attacked the other, thinking something was amiss, or because someone said, something was going to be amiss and in all that melee, nations attacked with brutal and unrelenting force and till this day global peace remains elusive as ever before only form one simple factor- misplaced courage and overzealous deployment of a generous amount of it for no real reason! You see, you don’t burn your house down if there’s a cockroach that get’s into it! You deploy and enact that much courage, as is needed to manage the cockroach, not wreak havoc and burn down your whole house and threaten your neighbors too! Calibrated courage is the only thing that differentiates someone who is on a progressive path from one who is either destroying that path or embarking on a detour by creating altogether new consequences as a result of excessive or less than adequate deployment of courage!

So my final words, courage is all about steadfastness, being steadfast in the moment to bring in all the resources that you can harness to meet, sustain, avoid or overcome a challenge using the right amount of it and at the right time and needless to say for a purpose that is aimed to serve the many at all the times! This is when courage shines and fables are built and legacies get created! Anything apart form this, if you ask me, is just a passing flash of lightening which will be soon forgotten as the wild fires subside and new forests grow in areas which have been lead bare by the unwanted and unwarranted use and deployment of courage!

I leave you here with these thoughts, urging you to sharpen your courage so that, as you arrive at that moment of yours when you need to deploy it, you are able to create a story which inspires not in the future, but even as it gets played out in the today and leaves no room for falsified representations or larger than life contexts getting woven into it!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Stay wise and stay courageous!

The Leadership Quotient.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

You may be the best and there may be no doubt about that bit, but all that greatness and being the best will go in vain, unless you have a progressive and well defined “Leadership Quotient” to bank upon at your foundation! Join me here as we explore around this concept and try to embrace a singular fact that leadership has nothing to with what your business card says, but has everything to do with you!

The biggest fallacy about leadership is that people tend to wait for someone to ask them to lead and more importantly all that managerial direction is often and always mis-interpreted to be leadership! Like many of the great masters who have been advocates on Leadership has said time and again, leadership is all about – being a leader and no matter who you are, what you can do and not do, the fact is that leadership can be practiced and furthered even in the smallest way- that may seem trivial for a someone else, but that same act can be empowering and encouraging for the other person! This is the essence of leadership- it always start from you and unless you don’t take charge for yourself and decide to lead your life, why would anyone else ever want to collaborate and walk alongside you, forget about having followers and people being drawn to you by inspiration!

People have always argued and debated about leadership being in the blood or whether it can be developed- well, if you ask, me like anything and everything else, you can embrace and develop leadership as a trait- but if you are also blessed by a natural affinity for it- then the chances of one being a success story at leadership are far more amplified! (or should I say instances of errors of judgement for practicing leadership are reduced!). So, now, on to the million dollar question, how do you know, if you are a leader or how much of leadership you have with you? How do you go about deciphering the leadership quotient? How do you deploy and how do you ensure it doesn’t get lost? Well, let’s go!

Unlike, enrolling for that costly weekend seminar or that workshop, or that psychometric test (sure they do play a role, but I will come to all of that later), revisit your childhood- yes, childhood, I mean when you were still malleable and ductile enough to be stretched by imagination and flexible enough to adjust (especially when you thought it was uncomfortable!) If you spend good enough time reminiscing your childhood memories (unless you too have a lost memory problem- like the one I do!), you will come across multiple instances of that fabled “first time” and when you begin to sieve through those “first times” you will start to see a pattern emerge- this pattern is about what your natural behaviour is and what is that you are comfortable- leading (to what extent and when and for what) and comfortable following or collaborating (again to what extent , when and for what). This proportion and frequency is what determines what is that triggers you to stand up and lead and what is that triggers you to collaborate or follow others. The in-depth deciphering around this fundamental aspect will further begin to throw light about what parts of your life you want to lead more over the others! People often feel leadership, is about taking all the decisions all the time and the fact is that nothing could be more away from the truth! Leadership is about taking those decisive stances when that moment arrives, it is about leading what matters and leading when only you can and you have to- because only your way of leadership is the answer to resolve that challenge at hand! This is the space where iconic stories about leaders get built and a whole new cult of followership is born- aligned to this unique new style or practise of leadership which has is nothing more or nothing less than the personification of who you are! Effective Leadership is always the Leader in Action- It is the personification of who you are in action!

So, to drive the point here, your leadership is about the choices that you make with regards to when you want to lead and when you want to be by the sides! It is about making those meaningful choices which then go on to define you- through your practise of leadership and this is what is the essence of the “Leadership Quotient”. The Leadership Quotient, if you ask me is not about a specific metric that can be measured rather it is an observation and assessment in terms of what makes your leadership practise great and when does it fail! You see, as you you choose what to lead and what not to lead, if you end up erring by making some weird choices, you will start to see your leadership decline and falter, this faltering will not be because you aren’t a leader or you aren’t capable of leading, but rather, because you made a choice to lead something that you aren’t great at leading! let me explain!

Let me take you back to your childhood, identify that one instance when leading gave you an immense high! It could be leading that debate competition, that sports team, or acing that quiz, it could be that rattling off numbers and wining a competition or it could be acing the class and leading your way to win the annual award- and now zoom back into your now and just run through the recent examples of when you think you lead well, really well! Do you see a connection, you possibly will! Leaders always lead exceptionally well on matters that they are intrinsically hardwired into- who they are, that is when leadership personifies and that is when magic happens, simply because you are playing to your natural strength of who you are, when you lead on aspects that are acquired and not natural to you, is when your ability to lead will drop from being great to good and this is where you will find majority of the corporate managers- who are actually good and perhaps great at directing- but average when it comes to the ability to lead!

There is also another bit that plays a vital role in impacting the leadership quotient and that is about the contextual settings! You see as long as the contextual settings are aligned to what your natural strength to lead is, you will see it easy to go further and wide, on the contrary, if you are coerced into leading that isn’t natural to you and if anther layer of competing context is applied by virtue of the settings around you, needless to say, that leadership assignment will seem to be like a boulder around the neck rather being a jewel adorning the crown of your professional achievements! So what is leadership quotient all about actually? What is the path to take and when do you know, something is not going the way it should and that you should pull those brakes!

Well, leadership quotient, as I said earlier is a personification of who you are and all that comes to you naturally to lead and sustain helped by supportive contextual settings! When each of these elements align aptly and you are adequately empowered that is when you get to deploy and utilize your leadership to the maximum potential and thereby your quotient will sail higher than the rest around you! Likewise, when any of these factors falter, they will tend to be a drag, that is when you will experience a drag towards deploying your leadership and eventually will find it more and more complicated to lead yourself, let alone others!

The trick to sail high on leadership quotient, is to play it to your natural fields that you can lead effortlessly, next, if that is not a choice, than make the acquired ones’ as naturally aligned to yourself as much as possible and work towards making the contextual settings fall around in alignment with the purpose of you active leadership! Sure enough, not all leaders get to experience high leadership quotient all through their leadership, but the essence lies in increasing the frequency of all that blends in to enhance your leadership quotient- the ability to deliver, in a sustained manner over a long timelines, playing on your strengths- natural or acquired by ensuring that the contextual settings align and work to further your cause!

So, final words if you ask me, I would say this, Leadership Quotient is all about practicing leadership in a way that personifies who you are and practicing it in an area that is natural to you, if not that than in a field which you can embrace as your own and while doing all of that ensuring that all the other variables around align to empower and further your cause so that your Leadership stands out as a shining example about, “How Leadership must be” and that is what the essence of being high on the Leadership Quotient is all about!

Leadership begins with you and so does it rise and fall with you! Leadership is but a personification of who You are and resonates in action all that you are and all that you stand up for and stand against for! High Leadership Quotient is a recognition of the Leader within you, whether you are busy leading yourself or an organization, how well you do it or will do it, is what the leadership quotient is all about!

I leave you with these thoughts for now, urging you to engage with yourself to begin with and assess, how high you think you are or want to be on the Leadership Quotient and what is that you want to do next to take that to the level- where you can say that- You have arrived as a Leader- that You always wanted to be!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another article, until then stay safe and stay wise!

The antidote to mindless pursuits.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

Much of humanity loses its breath and time pursuing a thousand of acts for one or the other justified reasons to eventually achieve nothing! Whether it is about the career that you want to pursue, that college you want to be in or that big corporate brand that you want to be associated with or whether it is the eccentric dream that you are caught up with to create something great and awesome or perhaps none of these and you just want to be doing what pleases you in the moment that you are, without giving a second thought for the next moment- well each of these aspects have been one of us at some or the other time in our lives and many of us end up realizing that- whatever that pursuit was, it was a colossal waste of time and energy, because you never ended up where you wanted to be, by pursuing what you did! So what’s unfolding here actually? Read on!

The human mind is at the forefront creating this overbearing drive to pursue! Well, there is nothing wrong to seek enquiry and then go on to pursue to find the solutions; problems begin when the whole pursuit not because of what it should be, rather it is because of the created simulations of the mind which fog out clarity of thought and purpose! Let me explain!

Like with anything else, the mind works exceptionally well as long as it is nourished and is utilized to pursue what makes practical and realistic sense, sure enough taking risks is a part and parcel of life (without which nothing great would have ever seen the light of the day), but the key word when it comes to risks is calibrated and measured risks- risks from which you can walk away- should your attempts fail! It is when people remain stuck with ever failing attempts and simply refuse to budge is when the pursuits start to become mindless! Yes, there are stories about scientists and innovators who failed and failed and failed only to succeed after the 10th, 50th or perhaps the 100th time, but the only factor- albeit a slender one which stands between their pursuits still being meaningful rather than being mindless is that – their risks were fundamental to alter the course of history and thy knew about it, even as they embarked upon it! You see, once people become clear what is at stake, then it becomes easier to know what is that must be pursued and what is that must be left alone and when it is the time to walk back to seek a new frontier! But then what is it that makes the human mind go berserk and get off-course in the first place?

The trim level of any machine is not always determined by at what point it fails (sure enough that is a key parameter), but rather what does it do- how does it react when it is made to stretch to a point beyond normal and the scenario of failure is eliminated! This is precisely what fails the human mind and makes it wander into spaces which yield nothing more than an intellectual experience that can be either rewarding or a nightmare! Once the option to fail, breakdown or stall is done away with, the human brain, pressed on and on- like a machine whose stop switch has gone wrong- will simply keep wandering in the universe of thoughts and self-reflection (bordering on either self-doubt or unwarranted over confidence) and this the moment from where that journey into nothingness commences!

The human mind as potent as it seems, has this feature to take you to long never ending scenario simulations- which at times are like a free movie premiere- for a movie which only you can see and experience- simply because it has in all probability got to do something with you! More importantly it has got everything to do with what you have achieved and not achieved and it’s often the things that you have not achieved that trigger your mind to carry you along into that mindless journey with no end and no result in sight! Let me explain this

Consider this, you have been a good doctor- you have treated people well and you have not ended up killing someone due to wrong diagnosis-but despite years put into this, you have never received the recognition or that position where you could influence many and address the crowds! So in this backdrop- although psychologically you are fit and fine, these unrealized desires, when the time comes take shape and they can shoot off in any of the two ways!

One- either by your involvement and proactive management of your mind- you can ensure that you get more busy doing what you are good at and make peace with what the fact is- that your social recognition for service is not coming now or anytime soon or may never come!

Alternatively you can allow your mind to take control and start to create simulations of forced thought which essentially all begin to provide creative solutions on how you may get that elusive recognition, which you logical and rational thinking has said you can’t! It is fine until this point too! A whole part of creative reflection, contemplation, over passed detours and challenges is what makes people wise to deal with their approaching times in a more progressive and directed manner- the problems start as soon as people start to act on these simulations, without thinking whether it is really meaningful, sensible and practical to take that route!

As long as that odd eccentric scientist, continues on the path of pursuing what is a figment of imagination of the mind, with no current science to back up or no rational thinking to cover the actions, the only possible outcomes that will ever play out are either a ground breaking invention which will alter the course of humanity or the deafening silence of lost hopes and misplaced expectations that will play out privately, leaving the scientists all alone to defend oneself and either course correct or walk into a trap of yet another mindless pursuit!

You may now be tempted to ask, if these are indeed the two levers on which the human mind operates then why sweat? Choose one over the other and keep going and when one fails, go back to the other, well sure enough that’s the only way around dealing with the mind, but that’s easier said than done, for the simple reason that, the judgement to know when to use which facet of the human mind is the key to keep a check on the mindless wandering and yet harness the creative genius that it has to offer and this is the only antidote to stay away from mindless pursuits!

The ability to harness the potency of the mind effectively and in a timely manner between the flex and the rigid stand is the only antidote to keep that urge to mindlessly wander under check! The mind works well and in fact very well, when it is given its own space and time to stretch and limit- stretch is important to allow it to create simulations- wayward- meaningless and out of the world- for it is in this realm that magic and new age solutions appear seemingly from no-where, limiting the mind on the other hand has the power to make it answerable to the faculties of logic and rationality- whatever the thought is, has to abide by the laws that govern the universe! Say you even wanted to imagine a spaceship or a faster than the speed of light craft- it has to adhere to the principles of physics and astronomy to even get to the equation board!

Given, the limitations of a blog, I will leave it here, urging you to experience for yourself-how were the times when your mind wandered away in pursuits- that perhaps yielded nothing of what you have now with you or perhaps that wandering itself has provided you with everything that you have with you now! Whatever, the outcome would have been, sure enough that has gone a long way to make you more wise and progressive when it comes to choosing your pursuits and perhaps has kept you aligned to your goals despite the detours and situations that would have arisen owing to the pursuits of your free mind!

Tame your mind- to stretch and flex, limit and expand as you demand and not the other way around! Once you have developed the ability to sustain this ability, you will be able to tap into the vast reservoir of imaginative and creative brilliance that your mind has to offer you, and trust me you too will be surprised with the way solutions begin to present themselves, only because you have learnt the art and science to tame the waywardness and limit those mindless pursuits!

Ciao for now, I will be back with another one soon, until then stay, wise, stay safe and stay mindful!

Why Simple is so Complex!

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

Humanity seems to thrive on presenting complex and complicated reasons,logic and everything that there is and the reality is that there could be nothing more contradicting to the truth- which is- simplicity is the only and the most essential building block to develop and build upon whatever that you choose to create! Join me here as we explore this space and try to understand why simplicity is omnipresent yet so elusive!

The progress of humanity has been a story of moving from simplified structures to more and more complex systems; whether it is about societies , the rules and regulations, belief systems, whatever you choose as an example, you will find that as humans we have this unwarranted and compelling desire to complicate and make complex things as scale begins to grow and perhaps the only industry which works in a complete contradictory manner is aerospace- where – minimal essential is the key word! If you observe the journey of a business conglomerate, you will see that when the beginnings were humble with a handful faithfuls believing in the dream and aligning themselves to the cause- rules of that fledgling organization would have been minimal and they would have worked well to propel and empower decision making and progressive styles of working hereby making it possible to writer the unfolding success story in the years that followed. But once these very organizations reach critical mass, they have more and more and ore rules to be followed and in all that, the whole pursuit and purpose of the work and the organization gets fogged out- may be not completely- but it tends to wear off its sheen and the sharpness of the earlier days and than that greatness just stays overhead by virtue of who they are and not because of what they want to be! Sure enough rules and structures are important, but there is a big difference between creating rules for people and having people for the rules!

As long as rules work to simplify and empower people, they can stay simple- that is the power of simplicity! The challenge commences as people begin to manipulate this simplicity to pursue what is not within the mandate and purview and there by necessitating building additional layers on exiting simplified rules and approaches- this intrinsic trait of a few to bend and flex simple rules is what pushes the majority into having to adhere to complex systems- even as this silent majority would have been compliant enough to follow even the simplified rules! Let me explain!

When was the last time you decided to board a train without a ticket, well possibly not, never unless it was in your teens when you were hanging out with your invincible friends in an attempt to show off your unique skills! But if you see around, even for simple things like booking of travel tickets, no matter where you are in the world, you will end up having to comply with at least 2-3 additional documents- whether you travel domestic or international! SO why did we end up building a complex system for something as trivial as booking or buying a travel ticket? Well, yes, you guessed it right, that predictable ability of a few eccentric characters, who believe in hacking, bending and flexing the system for their benefit, has ended up the majority to comply with additional check points and verification systems. If you thought this is just about the social aspects, just observe your work place- what do you see?

Even when it comes to the office world, even to swipe-in you have a minimum of two systems tracking you- sure enough you may say, part compliance, part redundancy, but that takes an altogether new meaning when one system shows you present and the other one marks you absent, simply because you did not log in through your device that day! beyond this, as you try to access your official tools, whether it is the mail system, the much hyped ERP, MIS systems, every point you will see systems have been designed not to suggest that “you can be trusted” and “you will do what you must as you should”, but rather on the premise “that you will not do it well and in a timely manner”! Remember the escalation matrix, well that’s not for you to be happy about, it just tells you the broad premise that your office is working upon- that you cannot be completely trusted! You may want to argue that, this is a process and this is how it is done everywhere, may be true, but all of that argument doesn’t answer, why it has to be done that way? and if you are the one who is going to solve what comes in your inbox, what’s the whole point of escalating and if something indeed needs to be escalated(because you aren’t empowered to deal with it) then why should you even be receiving all all that in your inbox to begin with! So, why is that, we have this mad dash for complexity and why is the ability to stay “simple” so elusive? What does all this really tell us about who we are and what we do with our lives? Read on!

The urge to complicate or rather create complexity on simple aspects has it roots in the foundation of human thoughts and belief systems, like modern day thinkers, much of the mid-age thinkers also saw humans broadly in two buckets- one who are self-driven, selfless, purpose drive and have a sense of community duty and the other set which was more self-centered, who would act only for reward and cared a damn for what unfolds around- either by being indifferent or being ignorant. Needless to say, if you see around, these broad buckets still exist around and the fact is that the second lot is in the majority and it is for this second lot that complicated rules are needed just to ensure that they ( by compulsion) contribute to what the first lot is doing (on their own accord) & more importantly these complex rules guard (to a certain extent) any attempts of sabotage that this majoritarian self-centered lot may want to embark upon.

So is there a way to promote simplicity over complexity? Well, the answer is yes and no! Yes, because you can embrace simplicity to empower your life- as an individual in that private space that you live about in- by uncluttering and doing away with everything and anything that attempts to cloud your mind space through unwanted complexity! But when it comes to the larger social construct of the society, as paradoxical it may seem, the fact is, those complex approaches help to prevent attempted sabotages of the existing visible simplicity that societies may have on account of the majoritarian lot who thrive on the chaos and ambiguity that complex systems get along with them. As they say, complex rules and regulations are for complicated people! So what next?

Well final words if you ask me, the fine balance of being able to deploy and work with simple systems and complex set ups is what will eventually ensure that all progressive efforts that you embark upon, both as an individual or as part of the social construct will alone determine whether your life gets written more about the simple and clear approach that you have taken up or the complex methods that you have developed and sustained to ensure that the fine balance between simple and complex people, systems and everything around only helps to progress and aligns to what you pursue!

I leave your here with these thoughts, urging you to get that balance of being simple and dealing with complexity right- for yourself and the people you lead!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another piece!

Fight Fear with Fear.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

As paradoxical it may seem, the fact remains that only fear can be used to quell fear! Join me here for a breezy read through on how this works and why it works and when it works to your advantage and when it doesn’t work to help you!

As part of the evolution of the human race, the element of fear has helped us to survive and dominate, the slender difference between what to survive and what to dominate is what comes only by embracing and understanding the very nature of the fear that you come face to face with! Let me explain, this quick! The evolution of humans from small dispersed populations, fighting to survive the elements of nature, to being able to establish structured societies is noting short of a miracle of human intelligence and the milestones on the way have been knowing when to tame which fear and when to surrender and stay away from the one’s that are simply overbearing and all powerful! You see through the thousands of years, we learnt to defeat and overcome the wild animals and tame much of what the wilds had to throw at us, however few aspects like natural calamities have been ever challenging and even to this day, with the best resources at hand, still we often end up getting caught on the wrong foot! Sure enough there is no “fear” as in the “fear” of dealing with a wild animal while you deal with a flood, but that again will end up depending already on where exactly you are stuck in a flood! On high ground you can click your photos and thank your stars that you are safe, but if you are the one trapped in between fast flowing flash flood streams, the whole dimension changes! So you see, like everything else, fear too has a contextual framework and the first step of overpowering fear is gauging this contextual framework right!

Once you have learnt this bit, you know what you are dealing with, whether you can tame it or not and based on how that unfolds, you have the path ahead to decide how you want to fight the fear that you face, with nothing else, but fear that looks more menacing then the one that you face! You may want to now, ask why should I do that, whys should I deal with fear by deploying a larger fear? Well the answer to that is pretty simple, the only thing that can halt the menace of fear is an opposing and more powerful fear equation, don’t believe, well just look around the world and observe what the governments of the day are deploying to manage their affairs! Yes, fear one over the other, disguised and camouflaged as a rhetoric that blends into the contextual settings of the society that they govern! Well, even if you were to ignore what the government wants to do or not, the fact is that the reason why only fear can tackle fear is because there is nothing else can match the speed, surprise and intensity that fear brings along with it!

Consider this, you are taking a walk and suddenly you are attacked by a dog, that very moment as fear hits you, you have two choices, escape (if you really think you can outrun a dog! good luck on that!) or then with the same intensity try and instill a bigger fear in the dog’s mind!You may ask, want a peaceful way work, well when an animal is about to attack you try talking peace! The essence of dealing fear with fear is more of a mind game, stratagem and being able to accurately gauge the pulse of the fear that is coming your way and devise a counter strategy to overpower and quell the same.

The reason why fear works is because fear is formless, sure enough you know what’s arriving, you may also know how, when and where, but you will never be able to know how and why will you react the way you do when it hits you and this element of fear is what makes it so unpredictable and difficult to deal with unless and until you too have a similar counter strategy with an equal or more overpowering stance! So how do you develop the right amount of fear and how do you know when to deploy it?

The whole world works on the currency of fear equilibrium, small nations fear bigger ones, tycoons scare off mid size businesses , bigger corner offices instill that fear within mid-level workers and that’s how things work- well they do work as long as the amount and quantum of fear- intensity and frequency is calibrated.The moment this calibration goes haywire, fear loses its potency and becomes nothing! Let me explain!

You would have come across that boss or that teacher or that parent, who kept on yelling, threatening, shouting on an ongoing basis, how was your reaction? Well, sure enough the first time you would have got worried, but as you learnt to study and decipher what was unfolding, you would have started to ignore and disregard! That’s because you now have deciphered the intensity, authenticity and intent of that seemingly menacing fear in its reality and discovered it to be really nothing! This is why fear is so over rated! So how does fear quell fear?

When you are able to deploy fear as a counter measure effectively what it does is, it not only stalls the advance of what’s coming your way, but it also reasserts your position on an issue from a place of strength and ensures you get that vital seat at the table when its time for negotiations!

Embracing fear is the first step for being able to deploy fear effectively! As long as you are able to deploy fear in a calibrated measure with visible manifestations, fear will be your slave and work for you, on the other hand if you were to end up using it just as a propaganda tool, sooner or later that bluff will get blown away and you will be left with no defence when serious stuff hits you!

Like with anything else, once you have known how to manage, fear, it no longer baffles or creates that overwhelming mirage, but rather accelerates your journey to reassert yourself and helps you stay aligned on the course to face challenges, overcome them without being fearful about fear!

I leave you with these thoughts, urging you to develop your approach to deal with the fears that come your way, you never know you may be fearing just a large shadow to a small problem!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another article! Until then take care and stay safe!

Why Inspiration and Motivation stalls.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

Being an author, rather being into writing, speaking and coaching, one striking thing that I have always come across is that people are just as fine as they should be and each one is good at a few things and great at few others and a genius at one thing! More often than not majority of us, end up wandering away from that unique “one thing” that holds the key for us to realize that zenith of who we can be from who we are. Somewhere around all this hectic and urgent business of trying to know oneself, people begin to get flooded with a sea of books, talks, podcasts, workshops and what not all promising to bring about radical change, promise that they will feel inspired and will gain a new sense of motivation and so on and so forth, but the fact remains that only a tiny fraction ends up being where they ever wanted to be- without any of these tools and techniques- some trained some not-so-trained and few inspired, few motivated but all of them driven by purpose and an objective! So the question here is does inspiration/ motivation really work? If yes, why do they weave the magic only on a few? Why isn’t every person in that workshop proportionally successful, if all of them got the same tools, wisdom and opportunity? What makes motivation click for a few and why do some people succeed even if they are uninspired? Join me here as we try to unravel, how and why this whole business of inspiration, motivation works and doesn’t!

Since time in memorial, people have always looked up to someone- either it was their Gods’, their spiritual leaders, their protectors ( Rulers, Kings, Queens, Emperors), as the new age arrived, people of eminence too started to be looked upon, studied & admired for they seemed to have answers for questions that plagued humanity in the contexts of those times! The more recent modern times have seen people seek stories from the field of sports, arts, theater, music, films and many other diverse areas- choose an area that you can think about and you will find this space of people wanting to be inspired and who are either in the process or already aligned to that one source! In all this pursuit of looking up to people, there’s only one real mission, that of seeking a common ground with regards to something related to either skills, competencies, abilities, aspirations or craft which provide that ray of hope to drive through the challenging times that an individual must overcome to surge ahead and make their mark!

The whole process of Inspiration is a fallacy of the prevailing social biases and social compulsions, sure enough there would be genuine contenders, I am not denying that any bit, but if you see what drives or what majority of humanity uses the word “inspiration” for is to either relate to someone, feel a sense of belonging for someone or thing or just try to align their social acceptability by falling in line with what the majority of social behaviour seems to be! In the context of the recent times, people all over the world, say they feel inspired by healthcare workers, well that’s fine only to that extent, because half of this inspired world, doesn’t give a damn to the guidelines issued by their inspirational health care workers and end up jeopardize everyone in the game that is being played out now!

The other immediate cousin of inspiration, called motivation too faces the same challenge, you see, people are always (as they claim) motivated and self-driven about themselves ( that is a good part) , the real problematic area is, “motivated about what or by whom and for what?” A lot of human tragedies are nothing else but a result of these misplaced motivations and uninspiring inspirational stuff! So you may, now want to ask me, so what’s the point? Well, the point is really simple, Inspiration and Motivation, stall, become ineffective , not because they have a problem or the beholders who personify it have a problem, the problem lies within each one of us, who end up getting inspired and motivated by the right things at the wrong times or the wrong things at the even more wrong times! Let me explain!

Let me take you back to your early childhood! Remember, “Twinkle Twinkle little stars..” that wonderful nursery rhyme! Believe it or not, that perhaps has been the very nascent seed that has propelled many careers of people in the areas of aerospace! This is what pure and unadulterated Inspiration is like! It connects with you at the level of your soul and nudges your mind to follow that essence and undertake that journey, no matter how easy or difficult to achieve what it must to live that moment of being among the stars either seeing them out of an airline cockpit window or seeing them through the space modules high above the earth’s atmosphere!

Likewise if you think about that school sports competition that you won for the first time, someone or something nudged you and your team mates that day, and for that reason you played the game of your life (until that moment) and ensured each one of your team mates did and thereby translating those moments into a memorable victory! That is what puritan motivation looks like, no prejudice, no information overload, just a nudge, perhaps that motivation was a treat by a group of friends or the name of your team mates being called out during the school assembly, or perhaps receiving that shiny medal- whatever that it could have been, it was just a nudge- at the right time, at the right place for the right thing!

So you, see whether it is that inspiration that you seek or that urge to be motivated that you have- as long as you try to seek that by looking at others, the chances are you will end up complicating your matters more, then solving them- especially when you tend to start focusing on the person, and not on the content!

In a lot of cases when people go to workshops, seminars, events buying those valuable tickets and tables at the show, waiting anxiously to be drenched in the seeming elixir of truth that the presenter is about to share, what they end up actually doing is that, they end up buying some hope and optimism instead of inspiration or motivation!

The reason why inspiration/motivation stalls and fails to work its magic is not because it doesn’t work, but rather because that piece is simply not aligned to the contextual reality of who you are! Let me explain! You may sure enough get lucky to witness some “A” grade speaker, who is renowned to motivate speak, but the fact is unless the speech, the examples and the proportionality of the challenges that you face are not aligned, neither that talk will motivate you nor will you know something that you weren’t aware of! It will all end up being the first row ticket to a one act play! It is vital that you find a common ground, a connect which is based on proportionality of contexts for inspiration/motivation to work its magic upon you, else you will either be left indifferent, ignorant or confused more than ever before!

Another factor is the construct of who you are and what the contextual realities of your world are! You may get lucky and you may really get that vital inspiration or motivation, perhaps that great speech, or that great book, or that sudden incident, something right may just cross your path and also the timing could be as great as you ever desired, but unless and until, you aren’t constructed to embrace all that coming your way and unless your contextual settings – the kind of society, the social norms, social viability aren’t in place, even the greatest of opportunity will slip away from your grasp and in many cases, you may actually end up passing that idea to someone less inspired and less motivated, perhaps less deserving, simply because there was a framework available to deploy and act upon once that seed was made available! Say you always had a vision to provide education for the economically challenged kids- but if your local laws don’t allow you to raise the funds and run the show the way you want to run and manage it, chances are your idea will eventually get picked upon and played upon in some other society where there is a favorable climate to implement and execute! Needless to say the execution may not be that impactful or effective as you would have planned simply because the other person may not be even as half inspired or motivated to do! This is a classic case where the right motivation/inspiration comes at the right time but in the wrong frame and you have perhaps no other choice but to let it pass!

Finally you have those instances where these very rare and gifted individuals who never give a damn to anything that’s unfolding around them! The reasons could vary, at one end of the spectrum you may have that eccentric artist, who likes to lock away and keep doing what pleases irrespective of who says what, or that politician who likes to ruin a nation under the garb of running it! This space is the pinnacle of human behaviour and intent, above and beyond all inspiration and motivation, simply because this is the impregnable fortress of the self and this is the area where only one maxim works- “My way or the Highway”! It is in these by-lanes of self serving, self-centered personalities and human attributes that a lot of inspiration and motivation is wasted and what’s more damaging is that this time around the people who come forward to share and care end up going back with bruises and small patched of self-doubt no matter how inspirational of motivational they are!

My final words, well, inspiration and motivation like everything else will work only when there is a human connect to it, nothing that has progressed humanity has ever worked in isolation! As long as there is a conformity of alignment between the inspired, the being inspired and the contextual settings around both of them, things will work and work remarkably well, nudge one element in that equation and you may end up the Motivators and the Internationalists of today needing a master class on their craft!

I leave you with these thoughts here, urging you to nudge yourself and know whether you Inspire, get inspired or are you indifferent?

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Until then stay safe and stay wise!

Score through moving goal posts.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

We have always heard about people complaining and expressing their inability to achieve something simply because the goal post (owing to the conditions/situations/circumstantial realities) changed even as they took their shot! Join me here, as we try to decipher this and possibly ensure that no matter where the post moves, you always are able to take your shot and celebrate that elusive accomplishment! So here we go!

Needless to say, we come across a majority of people who are living a life that they never wanted in the first place! Well, this is not to be confused with whether someone is rich or poor , happy or sad, well off or struggling, no, none of all that! The plain truth is that majority of humanity ends up doing what they don’t want to and that’s at the very foundation of the whole aspect of the moving goal post! Well, not to take a prejudiced view about anything, never helps, the fact remains that majority of us get bogged down by the failures and challenges that we face, at some point! Based on who we are, what our construct is, what our approach is and what resources we have , that point in our lives will arrive sooner or later! Hence, if you see, you can find people settling for doing something which they never wanted to, simply because they don’t want to go on waging that battle with the overbearing circumstances that surround them- it may be a good thing to do or not a good thing to do, because that depends alone on what you are set out to do! What your original goal post is! Let me explain!

Consider this, you are a scientist and you want to find that pressing cure for a dreaded disease, now as you research through those long years, in obscurity, with no fame, recognition, perhaps investing your fortune for furthering that cause, unless you reach that goal post of finding that solution, you will not quit and this is where magic happens and this is that space wherein the goal post doesn’t move, irrespective what the challenges are! Now take another example, say you are designing a writing instrument and you reach a point where you find that a crucial resource for that device is not available or even if it is, your initial cost estimates are all over the place! So what do you do next, well you have two options, just junk everything and let go (normally what people do!) or, see what you best you can do with, where you have arrived and this too is a vital element of scoring through moving goal posts!

Go back to your childhood and try remembering what you wanted to be when you would be grown up, 9 out of 10 of us are not what we said we will be when we were in our schools, graduating and perhaps even when we did that specialization later! So what happens here? Why do things unfold the way they do? Why do people end up doing what they never wanted to and what can be done about this, can anything be done?

Well, it starts with the intention and desire, yes the very basic of all attributes that one can think of, as long as that intention and desire is not focused like a laser beam to back up what words you say or write, everything stays fluid and then, even at the slightest nudge, you run for cover and are happy to alter the course of your whole journey and never tread that path for whatever the reasons might have been- this is why 8 times out of 10 you will come across people settled and content- because anyways they are doing or pursuing what they don’t care about and their quality of work too then reflects that space! These are the people who you find in the “one size fits all” industries wherein the emphasis is more on processes, mechanized, semi robotic working environments, don’t mistake thinking that the people here are any less intelligence or qualified or able- they have simply at some point in time, resigned themselves form the pursuit of the shifting goals posts that they were trying to hit, either they aimed for the wrong one or they did not or could not give their best when it mattered the most and things would have all been but against them! So how does one really go about scoring through moving goal posts, what’s the approach?

Well if you ask me, it’s simple, first, have that desire and intention and next calibrate all that to who you are! You see, even I want to be on top of Mount Everest, but well when reality comes vising through your medical reports, you know how far you can stretch! So it starts with stetting and evaluating the right goals and sure enough, given the times that we live in, no goal post is static in the sense of the term, whether it is the routine job you want or that excellent career you want to pursue, everyday is a new day, as things change, rules change, software’s change, rules of engagement change and all these dynamic variables in the work areas go on to make the seemingly achievable goals of routine work life as elusive as being on Mount Everest! Consider this, everyone in your team wants that promotion, there is only one slot, not all will get in, only one- and what do you think will still differentiate between all of them,if competencies, experience, qualifications and skills, performance are all equal and personalities are alike?

The critical differentiating factor is the unfailing ability to decipher what is likely to unfold once the chair/position is acquired! You see, you will be only able to hit a moving target when you can predict where it is likely to move next, when and how fast an for you to know that, you will need to know your target too well and sure enough you will not necessarily get it right all the time, that never is the point, the point is the early acceptance and acknowledgement that all that you aspire and aim for is a moving target and will not be what it seems to be when you acquire or reach it! The earlier you understand and unlock this dynamism about what you aim, you will also start to realise whether you really want to pursue that target to begin with and then if you still answer yes, you will automatically come up with plans and strategies to ensure that your hit ratio is higher then the average so that you begin to excel at what you do and what you aim next and that is the secret of growing and touching success even as your goals and targets keep shifting and moving all the time!

The whole idea about being able to hit and score as your goal post keeps moving is aligning yourself to what your desires are (not wishful thinking), calibrated to who you are and then all it boils down to is being able to decipher the goal post itself, what it is, what it seems to be and what it is not, being able to relate the way it is, how it may move, how fast and what is that you are going to develop within yourself to ensure that you match that speed and maneuverability to present yourself to the goal in the space of dynamic equilibrium -a moment where your movements nullify each others and you arrive at the right moment, at the right place and with the right preparation to embrace and control the goals and targets that you had set out to achieve and once you are there, the goal posts seems to be stationary as long as you are able to be in-sync with its’ movements.

The essence of scoring through moving goal posts, is much of who you are, and who you want to be and separating that from who you think you are and you you wish to be! Once you have anchored well, you are more equipped to evaluate and choose the goal post that you want to hit. Any goal post that you evaluate and decide to hit, once you have anchored yourself is almost always within reach, as long as you are also able to decipher the whispers that the goal talks back to you!

I leave you here with these thoughts, urging you to reflect upon the goal posts that you hit and missed, which moved and what did you do as they moved, did you resign yourself or did you get going! If you did resign, why was it then, and if you did hit, how was it then? Grab that coffee and think!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Until then stay wise, stay safe and keep hitting those goals!

You are a collection of invested moments!

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

As you get ready to face a crazy Monday, whether you are working from home or racing away to your workplace, what you do next will go a long way to determine who you become! Sure enough, knowing it’s your Monday, no long read for now, but just a reminder that all that we become in the moments ahead, is nothing but a net result of what we have done in the moments bygone! Join me here for a quick take to understand what this is all about and what is that you can do to ensure that you become who you really want to be!

We all are aware of this old adage that we end up becoming what our thoughts are, or we end up becoming like the people with whom we spend the most time with, so on and so forth! That, may be perhaps true, but what really matters beyond all of that is, what is that you are planing to do in the now- so that your coming moments align you more and more towards the person that you aspire to be! A lot of people get into what I call as the “sulk trap”, you would have come across these gifted individuals who just go on and on in an endless loop whining and complaining about everything that they can and as often as they can! but will simply refuse to do anything at all to alter the outcomes so that they may be as they want! These people are the ones’ who will go on and on to tell you glorious tales of the past and the greatness that they achieved and then, how all of that came crashing down, but they will never discuss what are they doing about it now- are they even planing to get up, dust themselves, roll up their sleeves and get going again doing what they were so proficient doing or what is that now they want to be! So why do these people behave this way to begin with?

The human mind is very funny at times, to an extent that human intelligence ends up sabotaging human potential many a times! You may be amazed, its more of the intelligent people that cause more grave dangers to humanity than the odd dumb wits out there and this has to do with, what I call as “Intellectual Inertia”. Intellectual Inertia, is very similar to the whole Newtonian concept of inertia, the only and life changing difference being that here the inertia is that of the mind and this is not only detrimental but at times can also be fatal! You see human mind is a great machine, it too always wants to achieve the bare minimum with the least effort- so if your brain is given a choice of achieving 80 with a 20% effort Vs achieving 100 with an 50% effort, it will gladly settle down at 80! This is natural and there are good enough reasons why it has been constructed that way- it is for our own survival! You do remember, the old stories right- evolution of the human species and about the grand development of our thinking faculties! Well, sure you do and this is all a part and parcel of that ever ongoing process!

When the body is well nourished and the immediate social structure around is stable, it is but natural for the human mind to get lackadaisical and hence if you see through history the greatest of discoveries, inventions and innovations have only come to see the light of the day, when there was pressure and some compelling reason applied that made individual and teams to collectively keep thinking in a coercive manner to seek solutions about problems which to begin with were thought to be an impossibility to deal with and this in fact, is the very essence of why your next move will eventually determine who you become! Read on!

As long as there is no coercive pressure either from within us or from someone who we work for, you and I both know the story of our efficiency at work or getting a job done, it’s only when the shit hits the roof, that we scamper around and since the reprimands can be very severe we try to salvage the situation as we can and try to make the most of what we can; never ever in a moment realizing that, what we do in all that under pressure survival mode is prepare ourselves for the subsequent moments that follow- whether they are of glory for having achieved what we were meant to or whether they happen to be of despair and challenges, if we indeed end up loosing out on what he had set out for, is what determines the outcome of who we become post those moments! Those moments of being a victor or a survivor is what goes on to create the pathways for us and irrespective of what our aspirations are, these developing pathways go on to make that journey either easier or that tad difficult as we keep moving ahead! So what’s the story, you may ask?

Well, the story is really simple, as long as you know how wisely you are investing in the moment that you in the now, that much easier will it be for you to govern and control the ones’ that follow and thereby ensure that time as the master of these moments strides alongside you and you are able to become what you aspire to be- by simply being mindful about your moments- the one that you are in the now and the ones’ that follow! It’s the impact of not being mindful- perhaps to the extent as would have been required, is why most of us, almost always arrive at the crossroads especially when the signal is red and then go on wait endlessly until we have earned that green signal to move ahead and well, I need not speak about what happens when we plan to jump that red signal!

These moments alone are what go on to make who we aspire to be and that either happens the easy way or the difficult way! As long as we are aligned to the aspirations that we seek and we ensure that our approach and utilization of each second that we have is invested (not spent) towards that aspiration, we have universal congruence working for us and that makes the journey more relaxing and seemingly easy to achieve. The minute there are discords and detours from the paths, conflict of aspirations and so on and so forth setting in, we not only begin to face an investment deficit (sine time is no longer being used up for what our aspiration are), but also we start to spend away all that we would have gained until that moment and end up depleting ourselves with whatever resources that we would have internalized within (setting off a barrage of confidence and self-doubt issues!)

You see, it is our over intelligence or baffling dumbness that goes on to complicate matters and we end up becoming the lower version of ourselves with each passing hour! Unless there is coercive effort of directed thinking and pursuit by being invested in oneself, whether it is the business goal that you are chasing or it is that target for your boss that you chase, none of that will come to you, unless you have truly stayed invested with intent towards those aspirations! The way to do that is avoid arrogance and repel ignorance!

Perhaps the only way to create value and be a value, is to stay invested in your moment- the moment that you are in, for that is the only real way to reach your aspirations and goals! Unless you aren’t invested within, creating value for yourself and being true to the aspirations that you have set out to achieve, everything else will be nothing else but a mirage of wishful thinking and self pitying self-talk about why nothing ever got done and how you were always right and everything and everyone around you was wrong!

So final words? Well, just accept this one truth of your life, we all are nothing more or nothing less, but an aggregation of moments, one unto the next and it is the choices that we have done in those, which either go on to align us to our aspirations or end up taking us on far away detours’ in one case we will be able to stay invested within and in the other case we will rapidly deplete ourselves and even if we reach what we aspire for, perhaps we will end up reaching the destination more famished than nourished! The choice is of your’s to make, how do you want to be in the next moment that is on the way to embrace you and the subsequent ones’ that follow, for you are nothing more than a collection of invested moments! The more invested you have been, the more enriching your journey will be and the more aligned will you be with regards to your aspirations!

I leave you here with these thoughts, take that pause, make that pledge to stay invested within yourself, for that alone is the way to reach your aspirations, more nourished than being famished! Each one of us, is but a personification of our invested moments!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Until then stay safe and stay wise!

Your wind-screen wiper!

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

As humble it may seem, believe it or not, the little wind-screen wiper has a lot to teach us as long as you are wanting to learn! Join me here as we take a quick look into the health of your wind-screen wiper and understand why it is so critical for ensuring you stay relevant and don’t become “was” from “is”! So here we go!

Well, you do certainly remember that time when you dared to venture out in the rains and git stuck really stuck as your wiper would simple not move, or if it did, it did not move the way you wanted it to and either you reached your destination late, tired, famished, exhausted or you banged into something and limped your way to reach where you had to! Coming to think of this scenario, to begin with, you would have probably known that the rain was on it’s way, you would have known the route, you possibly- just possibly known your wiper’s health, then why did you still move out? Even if you did so, you have a good pair of eyes, so when and why did you become so reliant on the wiper that you almost became blinded by the lack of it!

Remember, it’s not the rain that blinds you, it is the inability to wipe away those fast hitting drops of water which creates that blindness! So in a way, a failing wiper is good enough to blind you (in the context of that fleeting moment) and that small capsule of time is good enough to force you to come out with the best that you can be or you can resign to your fate and allow time to what it wants to! So what’s the whole point? Well the point is simple and straight, as humans we have this small intrinsic percentage of our personality where we throw caution to the winds and go about doing what we please- when that percentage dominates a personality, that becomes- brash, reckless and dangerous- which can cause self-harm or put others in harms way! If that is absent, it makes you a resigned pieces of furniture, very often the first people in the organisation and the last to vacate! The trick lies somewhere in between those two aggressive and resigned approaches to life, a calibrated response to what we do and how we go about doing what we do and that is the essence of the wiper!

You may have the best of the cars or you may be flying the most automated jets in the world, but when the heavens above open up and if you happen to be in control of that car or flying that plane, sure enough one thing that you essentially need and badly need is a well functioning wiper that responds and reacts as per your request so that you can than direct your vehicle or that jet to where you want it to be! So what is that wind-screen wiper really about? Is it just about a wiper, what is it’s significance? Read on!

The essence of the wind-screen wiper is to be a tool, a proactive/responsive aid that aligns itself to your demands and helps you meet the desired objectives that you have set out for! There is no doubt that the wind-screen wiper works only when it rains and doesn’t really do anything else, but that’s what the whole point is, it works well and awesomely well, when it matters the most and ends up being that critical nut in the machinery without which that million dollar car or that expensive jet all will become useless in the face of pouring rain! That wind-screen wiper is your mind and that vehicle or jet is you!

Like the physical wind-screen wiper, your mind is the most powerful tool you have, which alone has the capacity to flex and stretch as the time and situation demands and once those challenges are overcome, it has the unique ability to store vital information and race back to the original state. Once the same external trigger is applied again, the response is more emphatic, at times proactive and certain with outcomes always aligned to what meets your requirement! You see, like the vehicle or the plane, you may have the best personality, aura, eloquence and may be perhaps the best ever “engineer”, “manager” or whatever other label you want to think about, the fact is that if you have a faulty mind (a broken down wind-screen wiper) you will almost end up ruining every opportunity that comes your way and end up complicating the simplest of tasks at hand!

The blinding rain, that I had talked about, well that was not the rain essentially only limited to that context, but are in fact the real life blinding rains of the innumerable challenges, problems and sudden developments that our mind is supposed to deal with on an ongoing basis! Unless you have a functional mind, the rain storms of your life will never seem to cease of go away and you will be left moving from one to the next, in a never ending loop all because of one reason that you had a malfunctioning wiper! You may want to ask, fine, got the point, the mind is the wind-screen wiper and the rains are the challenges so what? Isn’t the mind supposed to address those challenges on an ongoing basis, that’s the role right? Right, it the role, but as I said earlier, you keep on going in the same loop again and again, your mind will also at some point begin to give up on you and that functioning wind-screen wiper will start to stay stuck leaving you blinded for a longer time than you can think! So what’s the plan? What is the way to manage the wiper and also the vehicle?

The vehicle or the plane I referred to you, is “you” your construct, your intrinsic resources, your value systems, your beliefs and your purpose and your competence and everything and anything that goes to make “you” who you are! It is but obvious that a beautiful body is reflective of a beautiful mind! Let me explain, if you are a start of range sedan, you get a wiper aligned to that model, because it’s functioning is calibrated to that vehicle make, likewise your mind and it’s ability is calibrated to you, your physiological, physiological and physical construct and as long as all of this is in-sync with the mind, you have a great vehicle and a well functioning wiper! The moment this balance is breached for some reason, you will start to see that, as problems begin to manifest within the vehicle, the wiper starts to work erratically and this is how vital the whole connect between the Human Mind and the Individual is!

To overcome the challenges thrown at us, on an ongoing basis, we need strong minds(a functioning wind-screen wiper), to sieve through all that races towards us, essentially de-clutters all that one must and helps us align our efforts towards what is necessary, relevant, what creates value and serves the greater good! You see if you are a jet plane and have a wiper that takes 10 seconds to complete one swish you will be toast!Likewise if you are a sedan and you have a wiper going 10 swishes per two seconds, that too will not help you! What is critical is the balance of the swish to the vehicle that it is mapped to! Your mind has to aligned to the body that you are! Unless that foundational sync is not achieved, you will always have cases of the wiper breaking down or the the wiper swishing away even as your vehicle stands stationary!

The whole crux is embedded in the fact that for being able to overcome challenges that life presents us with, it’s but imperative to have a resilient and strong functional mind which is able to sieve challenges and obstacles in sync with our motion and direction of progress! Keeping away all that should be, and responding the way it should on matters that matter! Unlike the wind-screen wiper, the mind is used on an ongoing basis and hence it becomes even more imperative that the sync between the body and the mind; the vehicle and the wiper is, as it should be. Any weakness in this arrangement provides a potential for future discord and than it becomes a matter of not “if” but of rather “when” that gets manifested!

Final words, like in the earlier piece, that I had written about the “rear-view mirror”, it’s important for each one of us to realise the importance and value of the wind-screen wiper (our mind) that we have, it is the only thing that stands between us avoiding a problem or running into one! How we map it to who we are, what we do and how we align ourselves to the mind that we hold and what it’s construct is will provide us with our unique pathways to success and achievements that we so much long for! As bad as it seems to have a dysfunctional vehicle or a dysfunctional wiper, what’s more worse is to have a functional wiper of of a plane fitted onto a sedan or vice-versa! It is the balance that goes on to make the difference and ensure that we end up having the wiper that we need, for the person who we are and that in turn empowers us to create the tomorrow that we cherish for!

I leave you here, with these thoughts, take some “me time” and tune your wiper, have your vehicle checked, for it’s well being and ensure you have an empowering collaboration, for that alone is the key to your future and beyond!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Until than stay wise and stay safe!

Fail before you Lead.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

Irrespective about what ideas you have about success, being the victor and about leading yourself and others, the singular fact remains that, unless you fail, you will never be able to lead- neither yourself and nor anyone else! Failure, ironically teaches more than success can ever and this is the essence of this short piece! Join me here as we explore, what makes Failure so intense and educating while success reached without it, just seems to fizzle away unless it has been forged on the robust foundation of failure from where one can rise above! This is the space where learning from failing and failing forward (as someone has said this) matters! So let’s roll!

If you pick leaders across the spectrum of politics, business, community service, the corporate world- one singularity will come back hitting you hard and that is the fact that the most revered and successful ones’ have been the ones’ who have either been spectacular at failing or have kept failing predictably and yet achieving what they had set out for! But aren’t people supposed to be crushed and finished by failure, we have corporations and business go bust and never rise back again, we have examples of political careers wiped away and business vaporized owing to leadership failures- what about that bit? Well, sure enough even the other space exists and this is what makes failure so interesting! Failure rewards only as long as you learn from it or when you learn when enough is enough! You disobey either of the two rational scenario, try stretching your luck a bit too far and you are history in the works and sure enough not for the right reasons! So let’s understand why and when failure gets fatal!

We have heard fables about politicians, who went on and on loosing one election after the another, we have heard about that self-driven, eccentric business boss who went on and on with his rant and obsession to do what he deemed right, we have come across those proverbial managers (damagers) who went on and on to spell check you mail and insist what you say, write and do (something that would even put your family to shame!)- when you eventually look back and analyse what has happened to most of them- well in all probability they have either hit their trim level of incompetence and settled down in their little pond and called it “The Pacific Ocean” or in few cases have managed to have themselves completely erased away- as in physically from the realm of the planet! So you may ask, if failing is going to lead to success, why don’t these scenarios qualify for that? Well, the reason for that is, as I said earlier, one needs to know when to stop and when “enough is enough”! like everything else, failure too gives you a fair chance to bounce back and re-align your life, but failure gets brutal and fatal once you stop learning from it and keep doing the same things again and again expecting different outcomes!

It is only when people begin to embrace failure- from the context of being able to learn, improvise and realign themselves that things begin to change and that change comes from within you! The first things that meaningful failure does to you, is that it will change your context and approach to the things that you are failing at (as long as you are ready to learn and work over it). All great leaders, that the world knows today have been baptized by failure first and it’s only when that baptism has liberated them to seek more clarity, touch gratitude and realize their trim levels in the honesty of it, that they have been able to change to create the success stories that we all get to witness today! So how do few people manage to learn from failures, while most withdraw and stagnate themselves- shelving away all their aspirations by giving themselves the permanent credentials of a certified failure?

People who emerge as Leaders, post failures and setbacks have a few things in common. To begin with they have a clear purpose and they want that to be achieved and are ready to receive the accolades and brickbats on that journey even as they begin to walk it! This mental resilience and conditioning to embrace things as they come, evaluate if they serve the required purpose or not, check if they create value or not and keep going is what makes these people formidable learners, adapters and artists in the way they deal with challenges thrown at them and even as the world gasps in abated breath for the news of their impeding doom, they almost always bounce back and come out as not only a survivor but also as a victor! Importantly people who learn from failures know when enough is enough and are absolutely clear about their trim levels!

Think about this, why do you think that not all great businesses are able to be the same spot – all at number 1? Why are even great businesses trimmed at some levels and numbers in the leader board- even though they are successful & progressive- this is because their leaders and the people who lead and direct have held on to the purpose and clarity of what they do and why they do, what they do and more importantly have resisted all temptations to avoid getting into doing something either what they don’t understand or don’t concur with! The first thing that failure teaches you is the zone that you belong to- you see, whether you are an individual or a collection of individuals (that is what a firm is), as long as you learn from failure what your real competence is and where the trim line for that competence is- you will be great because then you know the top line and you then just have to focus on improving within and that’s really easy once you have the right people to help you with that! Let me explain!

Say you want to build house on a plot that you have, well wise people will assess the context of the plot, know the purpose of the house (the utility aspect) and then decide how to design and build that beautiful structure knowing the limitation of resources at hand (people, technology, skill, competence, time and money).So gauging this, you will probably settle for a state-of-the-art, beautiful, one or two floor building that meets your need within the parameters that you can work in. This is what calibrated success looks like( sure enough you don’t necessarily have to fail first here because you have analysed well to start!). Now, instead of this, if you were to just go on building floor upon floor, not knowing when to stop and why you are building that thing to begin with- well the inevitable will happen- either you will break financially to continue building that never ending structure or the structure will collapse on accord of the sane principles of physics and gravity!

Even as many leaders fail, very few learn from it and even fewer apply those learnings to their today to create a more valuable tomorrow! This is what differentiates between Good and Great Leaders! Good Leaders will help you navigate your today, for that serves their today as well- This is the stuff that you come across successful managers in the corporate world and those content small businesses who are happy earning the same annual amount even if the inflation has changed and cut their profits by half! What great leaders do differently is that they not only apply the learnings of their failure to their work and create awesomeness at work, but they are at the same time, consistently failing forward at something else- experimenting with new ways, processes or even new businesses and even these failures present valuable lessons which go back to create more value to the functioning business to make it better and should the other experiments click- which they will- needless to say you are just witnessing the birth of a conglomerate and this is how business empires are built- by sharing the knowledge of failures across the board and applying those valuable lessons across to create value and control in a more meaningful manner!

On a more human level, failure brings in humility and sanity, it teaches you to embrace and learn from everything around you and also presents you with absolute clarity about what matters, and what doesn’t and makes a real shortlist of valuable resources- people or otherwise! Not all failures are owing to a person or a collective of people running a business at times, it also could be circumstantial and beyond human control, but again in even those scenarios, the ability to learn, analyze and apply those learnings back to the business as the group hits the re-start button is what creates the difference- the difference in terms of chosen trajectory, speed, expanse and the choice of people for the new journey! It is only when the limits of competence, skills and contexts are properly calibrated post a failure and applied to the purpose on hand that magic is created and progress is made on the chosen path!

Final words, as they say, “Failure is never fatal and Success is never final”, that may be true but for that to manifest this frame of being able to consistently learn from failures, embrace them and seek them is what is vital to create the shift from being Good to being Awesome! Failure does’t finish one, it’s the inability to learn from failures and apply those learnings to life and business, is what makes failure dangerously fatalistic!

I leave you here with these thoughts, will be back soon with another one, until then stay safe and stay wise! Ciao for now!

The cost of leadership.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

Everyone wants to lead and everyone has an opinion (valid or not) about the leader that they see, everyone concurs that they, are better, smarter and more able than their leaders (especially when it comes to the political or community space), whereas the fact remains that, none of this is really true, authentic or accurate- for the Leaders alone knows what holding on to that leadership position has cost them- the untold saga of sacrifices, decisions going wrong and being coerced to choose between the evil and the lesser evil! Join me here as we try to decipher what plays on the mind of the leader as they sieve through multiple decisions that they must take, to continue leading what they lead and ensuring that all the stakeholders are safe, secure and the greater good is served over everything else at all times!

To begin with, one needs to understand that Leadership and Leaders are quite different from Mangers and the Bosses that you come across every now and then, Good Leader by default make great managers or bosses- that is what leading is all about, however the converse is not true! To that effect we must know what leadership and leading is all about! Sure enough there are volumes and volumes written by experts who have worked in the area of leadership and leading teams, but if you were to condense all of that and try to decipher what is the essence of leadership- it will eventually come down to a few things, like Leaders are courageous, vulnerable, rooted yet able to soar high and apart from many other things they are, they connect heart to heart and lead from the heart, creating more leaders then followers! Certainly Leadership experts, will add more aspects to what goes on to define what leading is and what leadership is, but since this is a blog, having the limitations, I will not dive further into this space, but now move ahead into what we are here to discuss- the cost of leadership!

Ask any Leader, that you come across and you will at an instant notice, leadership or leading people, is nothing like the way it is marketed or the way fables are written around it to motivate and inspire people! Leaders & their Leadership comes often with an intense and intimate cost; which rarely leaders will admit in the open- whether the costs of their leadership is the price paid by their family, their health or simply the acrimonious contextual settings that they operate in (based on the society that are in); every and all leadership comes at a cost! These costs at times outweigh the brief of the what is been lead and at times, the greatness of that position, makes any cost look too trivial and leaders keep pushing ahead to serve and lead upon what they have embarked! Let me explain!

Consider this, let’s say you are a leader (not a manager) and are given the task to lead a faltering organisation and get it back on it’s feet, given the fact, you are a leader, you will get it done, you may take a few months, a few years, perhaps a decade- based on what the organisation is, how complex the challenge is, but you will persevere, stay put and deliver- that’s what leadership is all about, isn’t it! Now, add a little twist to this, say while getting this assignment, if you were told that, you know what, by the time you finish getting this done and dusted, you will have probably increased blood sugars, an enhanced blood pressure and added waist line and you can meet your family only once a year- now- – what do you think will happen? What would have you done? This is the point where every leader evaluates- and rightly so- this is that moment which every leader undergoes before saying “Yes” to any assignment that comes their way- this evaluation of what is at stake- what is the cost to be paid and who will it involve is what plays on the Leader’s mind and sure enough, once this is settled the Leader’s are quick to start with the business and hit the ground. Now if you want to raise the stakes higher, how about if you are given the chance and choice to lead you nation? Feel the shivers? Based on where you are on the planet and whether you are dealing with millions in a multicultural society with sharp ideologies or in a bipolar society which just thinks the society and the world is either black or white!, You have a touch assignment and then start adding up layers of diplomacy, political prudence, media glare, intragroup rivalry, opposition pressures, international alignments and yes that ever looming threat being the person on the chair! You still want to lead? You see, it is very easy to give opinions and say things about people in power or in general about leaders- but if you only knew the cost that have paid to be where they- you will have a rethink before you race to say anything to them either appreciating or criticizing them! You may want to say, but that’s what they have signed up for!

Sure enough, Leaders do sign up for challenges around the work and for leading people and holding them together as they achieve goals that they have been entrusted with; but Leaders never sign up for the price that they at times end up paying which can far outweigh anything & everything that they would have signed up for! Like the earlier example, if you were to take up an assignment knowing your health will be irreversibly damaged- well then your move actually puts a whole big question mark on your leadership competence- Simply because Leadership is not Suicidal! If you were to say yes and go ahead with that corporate offer to lead compromising and damaging your own health, rest assured you will end up rubbing the same down through the team and the consequence would be higher medical bills for the organization to settle, increased health related absenteeism and in that rare event death on the job!

Leadership is raw, painful, thankless, invisible yet omnipresent, rewarding and fulfilling- the real leader knows the way to find the right essence between being an eccentric genius and a soft spoken suave presence. Often than not the real cost of leadership is never seen in the open and except for that small inner circle of the leader, hardly ever will everyone know the multiple battles and jugglery that the leader undertakes just to ensure that the team still has their job in the month ahead and your salary cheque will reach you as it should! Often the biggest misconception is that the “Corner Office” people have nothing to do, just go on for endless lunch meetings and evening catch up’s on the way back home!

What people miss out is that, it’s these very lunch meetings that usher in the promise of a sustained lunch for all the people that the Leader leads and the meetings on the way back, suddenly extend robbing them away of their family time, more than anyone else! Given the construct of the culture that we have and the working associations and equations, Leaders will rarely open up to tell you how they felt nervous before the client said or whispered that “yes” over lunch, neither will they tell you what kind of ruckus that they had to face, simply because they could not attend their kids school function…the list is endless and this selfless sacrifices, measured and done on a daily basis, is what Leaders face!

Whether you lead as a doctor, a cop, a defence warrior, a corporate head honcho, or you are that next big start up success story- you could be any of these or you could be as simply as leading yourself and you will see even the effort to lead yourself too comes at a cost and the cost that you pay to lead yourself is the time you waste/invest in creating greater value for yourself to become a better version what will be relevant in the approaching tomorrow! Every Leader starts by Leading themselves first! It really doesn’t matter what you have signed up for, unless you are game on and you are able to spread that contagious warmth and exuberance among your team mates, the whole journey will end even before it starts!

The simple and singular fat is leadership and leaders pay the price or rather should I say the cost for the leadership that take responsibility for, at times the decision is far more important than their personal comfort and there is a greater social cause and hence must be held on to and at other times, leaders begin to soak in more and more into their work, not because they are workaholic maniacs, but simply because they can’t allow the team to fail, for the team’s failure is their own failure! Every leader weighs and evaluates the cost, even before they start and for some reason if they miss out on this bit, we get to see what is a full blown leadership crisis in the workplace and you can see leaders come and go- simply because there is not contextual setting and clarity on what is to be achieved and at what cost! If you ask me, another term for Leadership is Clarity of Purpose- when you have that, you are able to lead, yourself first and as that conviction led warmth spreads, other join you sooner than you think and you are well on your way to create new milestones in the task that you have chosen ahead!

To wrap it up, the next time, you come across a leader (not a manager) just know this, that the person has sacrificed something, you may know that or may never know that, but that is a given! Leadership is never about Lights, Camera, Action, It’s all about sweat, grit, determination, failures and bounce backs from one moment unto the next until the objective is achieved!

I leave you here, with these thoughts for no, do reflect, think about all the leaders you ever came across and what do you think their leadership cost them, and if you happen to be a leader (not a manager), what is the cost that you have paid and is it worth it?

Ciao for now, will be back soon! By the way, do get in touch with us for appointments pertaining to Leadership Coaching that we have now commenced! For more details drop in a mail or visit us at http://www.simplifylives.com

The Knowledge overload.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

In the crazy times that we exist, surely it feels like the Heavens above must have been in an overdrive while planning to lead humanity to the place we are, no I am not going to talk about the pandemic, already have shared a lot! I am referring to possibly a greater pandemic, which is perhaps more dangerous than the one that we are facing now! This is about dealing with the knowledge overload- a knowledge pandemic; if you want to look at it that way! Join me here as we take a quick look at what this is and what does it mean to us and what is that we can do to survive this challenge, collectively or individually as the case may be! So here we go!

This is not only about cribbing about the invasion of the digital screens into our lives (although they do) this is not about the grueling efforts that go into pursuing higher & specialized education, in terms of money and opportunities around, this isn’t only about how many books, research materials, manuscripts are available or not, this is simply about the maddening pace at which knowledge gets consumed, gets outdated and leaves us ever famished and wanting more and more of it, even as we are aware that there is only so much that we can achieve in the life time that we have and there is only so much that one can really apply and bring into action, irrespective of how much knowledge one holds within!

This mad race to soak in as much as knowledge on can, irrespective of how much of that is validated or relevant has led to chaos and ambiguity more than what natural confusion would have provided! Ever heard about, “All the experts who came together to agree that nothing can be done” well that’s a classic case of knowledge overload! What knowledge overload does is, that it begins to make you pace up against yourself and that by the very definition of it is a very self-defeating approach! But why does this happen in the first place, why do people fall into this senseless trap of wanting to behold all and know all kind of stuff (knowing very well that, it doesn’t work that way!) The reason for this, is the contextual framing that we have allowed to seep in, across societies wherein knowledge has become a tool to achieve something further and not a destination in itself! Let me explain!

If you observe around, what do you see, parents, teachers and almost everyone who has this ability to give free advise to a teen, is going to just say one thing, “study this, go to that university, get that degree” so on and so forth- not because that will enrich the individual or make that person wiser, but because that assures well off life and a sustained source of income- nothing wrong with it – sure enough, well that’s what is needed, what do we do with knowledge if money doesn’t come in- plain, simple, effective, but the big point missed out here is that- no one asked you not to get wiser even as you make your money! This is where the knowledge overload problem begins and how does this manifest? Well, read on!

Have you ever dealt with that boss of your’s who always said just do it this way- and don’t ask me why? or that boss who came to you rushing ten minutes before the presentation and asking you to change 15 slides immediately? Did you ever come across a person who knew everything and was sought after by everyone for some listening but not for any action? I am sure you would have come across multiple such instances wherein people have been glued to the pivot of the knowledge that they hold and are in process of applying- few of them seem to be in control of it (like the judges, the doctors, the law enforcement people- most of the times!) and at times, you will come across people who seem to be just struggling to cope up with the dynamism of the knowledge that they hold, every next day that challenge to update just seems to get insurmountable for them. So why do people react to knowledge in completely two different ways- one while being in supreme control and at other times being completely run over by it?

They do so because in one case they are able to tame knowledge and shape it to the way they want to action through it and in the second case, knowledge is nothing but a fast moving rapid and it will knock you over your feet, if you don’t know where you are putting your feet next! So what’s the right way to engage with knowledge?

The real essence of engaging with knowledge is about soaking it only until it enables and empower you to apply it to create some meaningful value for you or for others! Anything done half way through that in a rush or anything done long after you have soaked yourself beyond repair- is all counterproductive- because knowledge too, like everything else is sensitive to time and context! Let me explain!

Consider you are a new doctor, and heading to the first surgery in the ER, what’s your frame of mind? are you trying to yet mug up, Grey’s Anatomy- page 456 or are you planing to go ahead with what is presented in front of you and pursue your line of treatment based on what you see in front of you? You don’t open up a person and say, “hey, I read it in the book, this pieces, is not supposed to be here, can we move it by a few inches?” This is what the context and time element of knowledge is all about! In that contextual setting of the ER, it would have really not mattered how much of medical know how you have or not, as long as you were able to understand what is in front of you and as long as you are able to provide the recourse as science would require you too! This is real essence of working with knowledge, no matter what field you pursue, unless you develop this approach of being pragmatic, in the now and being able to what it is that you are dealing with, you may have all the gold medals in the world, but you will get drowned by the same overload of knowledge that keeps moving around within your mind like a lost ghost! So what’s the takeaway?

Simple and to the point, Knowledge works only as long as you work upon it and you don’t get worked up because of it! Understanding, updating and staying relevant is one thing and being able to think on your feet in the now and deliver to a perplexing problem in front of you applying the principle of the knowledge that you hold is the real essence of being able to manage and overcome knowledge overload! Once you are able to this, rest assured scaling up your learnings and applying them as fluidly as you want to are all but a part of simple design. Too much of anything and everything is not helpful, simply because it creates an imbalance and when it comes to knowledge, an imbalance leads to unwanted eccentricity- individually it looks funny- but when that gets extrapolated to a society as whole- you end up heaving polarized and radicalized views which don’t go to help anyone on anything, no matter how knowledgeable people are or how wise the society is! Balance- dynamic balance is the key to tame knowledge- soaking in it, just enough to create and share value and not getting drowned into it to create more chaos or ambiguity!

I leave you here, hoping that you are always as soaked up in knowledge only as much is relevant to what you do and you are always able to work upon the knowledge that you behold and never get run over by it!

Ciao for now, will be back with another one! Until then, stay wise, and keep learning and keep sharing!

Go from “Had I” to “What If”

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

I know its a Monday, and Mondays’ wherever you are and whatever you do are what they are, notorious and unpredictable! Well, this short piece may just perhaps help you to ensure that your next Monday doesn’t end up being the one that you are facing now and probably it may just help to bring about a radical change the way you await for the next day to arrive! Certainly I am not suggesting that all days will be Fridays’ or all days are Sundays’ but the shift of your mindset from “Had I” to “What if” is the real game changer! Join me here as we try to understand what this is and how it may turn out to be just the key that you were looking out for to unlock your potential! So here we go!

We have a lot of those strange conversations, (especially when we have that odd free time to ourselves) which start to play within our minds and more often than not they start with, “Had I”, yes, that never ending eternal excuse, reason, fact, fiction, perception, truth- it could be almost any of these and there is nothing right or wrong about this- sure enough as one contemplates, a person will take this route to think and begin to reflect & it is here that getting a right balance of “Had I” thinking becomes critical. If this is not checked in the right time it can unleash chaos of unimaginable proportions! Let me explain!

Remember the last time you got your “me time”, if you have not got one, make an allowance for one now, and then continue to read further! In all probability that “me time” of your’s would have gone into the past and as you started to reflected what worked and what didn’t, almost always you would have ended up saying or thinking-“Had I then done it that way, or that instead of what I did, things could have been different Now! Had that been done, this would have happened and then because of this, that would would have happened! See your thoughts pretty soon, begin to encircle into a tight spiral almost crushing you and burying you into the past, irrespective whether that was a dream or a nightmare and what is unfolding here is- that your flirting with “Had I” is holding you onto a patterned approach of thinking to your life and you are reinforcing belief’s which may no longer serve you or your new realities! This is why most of the people are so scared about their “me time” and always crave for the companionship either with people- irrespective whether that adds value or not, with pets or with those tormenting digital screens- which recently have become far worse the world over than what they were earlier- instead of dissemination of knowledge or puritan information, have ended up becoming nothing more than propaganda tools! A majority of us hence come out more tired, confused and craving for sugar as we are done with our “me time” which when not used aptly ends up being not only waste of time, but starts to chip away slowly but surely whatever remaining resilience and perseverance that you would have built upon to safeguard and move ahead in life! So what do we do? Well, read on!

To begin with, a genuine hand shake with the “Had I” way is not bad, in fact it’s healthy, that’s an opportunity to explore omissions and mistakes and certainly avoid repeating what has gone by, but the problems start as people instead of having a conversation with themselves using this route, start to embrace it and begin to conclude that, because they had not done”ABC” or “XYZ”, they are fated to what they are in the now and this current fate is what will lead them to “PQR” irrespective whether they want to be there or not! This is perhaps the biggest hurdle, danger and problem with the “Had I” approach gone wrong! It not only short changes your present based on the inadequacies of your past, but also seeds in the unwanted and unwarranted thoughts about how vulnerable you are and why you should move ahead in a resigned to fate manner, rather than be a challenger in life! This is the space where majority of us get entrapped for a longer period of our lives and this is called by few others as the “mindset problem- rather the problem of mindset coming through limiting your beliefs- based on the out of control and un-managed “Had I” route! So what’s the cure to this?

Well, there are only two options, either you manage the “Had I” thinking and keep it under check and have it directing you in a purposeful way or do a radical shift in your mindset and move into the “now space”! You see, the whole idea of “Had I” hinges on what has happened to you or has been done by you in the past, but when you move the pivot of your reflective thinking to your present, you make a big shift in mindset and the way to do that is by replacing your “Had I” with “What If” more often! Once you have embraced “What If” in your today, it will empower and propel you to evaluate multiple scenarios for your oncoming tomorrow and the best part is, it starts with the moment you are in- the Now of your time! Let me explain you this very quickly!

Consider you are in one of the usual contemplative “me time”, now with the “Had I” approach you would slip away rather easily- almost dreaming away into your past and then begin to play upon what would have happened had you then done that- in a different manner than what you actually did! But the problem with this approach is that, it will very rarely help you to address something that you are dealing with in the present (unless and until you are on the verge of committing the same mistake again!) and that trip to your past serves you with no value- other then some light free entertainment or revisit to a horror story! The questions of your past don’t and very rarely can provide answers to your present- simply because you are a different person (from the competence and mind part of you) and the contextual settings too would have radically changed!

Now, to this contemplative zen of your “me time” when you decide to approach with the “What If” approach- you are actually expanding the horizons of your thinking pivoting on your now and with a greater chance to transform and shape your tomorrow! The “What If” question, unlike “Had I” doesn’t allow you to dream smoothly or slip away into the softness of your bygone times, rather it forces you really hard to think, think and think in the now of your moment to evaluate the competing approaches and solutions and furthermore extrapolate them ahead to see which of the may serve you more better in the times ahead as well! This powerful and simple shift is what makes”What if” thing so potent and when your “me time” is loaded with this, you are surely going to experience that much needed mindset shit. The shift in mindset originating out of “What if” thinking is powerful, potent and almost always gets you amazing clarity and elasticity for your thinking which serves you all the way along! “What if” thinking forces you to make choices and these choices when acted upon have the power to transform you- to meet the new reality that’s fast approaching you in the future and this future ready approach gives you that edge when it comes to beating the odds that may come your way!

If “Had I” gives you a reckoner to avoid the mistakes of the past, “What if” opens up limitless future possibilities and importantly empowers you to take the challenges head on by aligning your thinking to the new realities coming your way! Each of them have their strengths and place when we want to share our “me time” with either of them, but the more you spend your “me time” around “What If”, the more empowered will you be, for taking actions and leading yourself in the now and the approaching future!

I leave you with these thoughts here, urging you to move on from “Had I” to “What If” and experience a changed you who can lead you and create value for the times ahead, for the ones’ bygone can’t be revisited!

Ciao for now and will be back soon with another one! Stay safe and stay wise!

Empty your bag!

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

This is a short breezy article for a Sunday read, wherever you are on the planet! If you have seen the movie, Up in the Air, well there is a reference to this bit, however let me be very clear my thoughts are original as always! Join me as we try to know what this bag is all about and why does it really matter what we have in there and why we need to empty it from time to time!

The journey of your life is the pursuit of your soul to seek what it aspires for- your mind and body are the only resources that it ever demands to make that journey possible, sure enough, for that mind and body to function, you would need the required support that comes to you being part of the society that you are and this is where all the fun begins! Society sabotages your journey and purpose of your life by ending up putting into your bag a lot of stuff that you never really need and guess what, that burden of the excess baggage is the real enemy that not only slows you down greatly but in a few cases ends up most of the journey’s even before they really commence in the real earnest! Let me explain!

Consider, you are going for a trek in the high mountains, what would you carry with you? Mountain gear, medicines, first aid, food that lasts you with the relevant buffer and clothes that you just need about and the required tools and gadgets right? Now consider if instead of this, you were to add your high heels, professional attire, your laptop, a generator for power back up, a satellite dish ,a coal grill, food supplies for 7 days ( when you need for 2 days plus a day of buffer), what you will end up doing is, burdening yourself with unwanted and unnecessary baggage that has nothing to do with your aspiration to climb that mountain peak, neither does that excess load, serve any benefit to you (simply because you have too much of it!), so what’s the impact- well if you even start to think about getting started with that kind of a burden, any mountaineer will tell you, you are finished even before you begin! This is what also plays out in the book of our lives!

Grab that coffee and look around yourself wherever you are now, what do you see, you will see you are surrounded, hounded and always approached by all the things, people and situations which often mean so little and at times nothing when it comes to adding value either to you or to the other person or even for that matter to make the settings a great one! When was the last time you hit the office party and people actually said- that the party would be incomplete had you not come? And well when you actually not turn up- what happened? Did they stop the party? Cancel it? Or did the show go on and perhaps you were not even missed! You would be fortunate even if someone thought about you! The worst thing is that in the times that we live, we are glued to multiple screens and our day begins and ends by counting friends on a social media network, the number or likes , shares and what not- we just end up sweating for no real reason!

You see, get a life, the fact is no one really cares and the burden that you build upon yourself with this perception that you matter- is perhaps the biggest invisible load within the bag that you carry and that bag which seems to be getting bigger and bigger is nothing else but the bag of your mind! The bag is nothing but your fleeting, racing mind- and every time you drown it in clutter and all that doesn’t serve you or anyone else who matter you- you are just wearing it down and if you try to lead your life with a fatigued mind- you know where you will reach and in what shape you will reach- even if you get lucky enough to reach your destination or goal- you will barely be alive and instead of celebrating your success, you will just thank your stars, that you made it and fade away into nothingness in the pages of history!

We all more often than not, end up living and going about our lives, mindlessly aligning it to the sometimes unwanted bindings of social compulsions, peer reviews, “what will “x” think, what will “y” say kind of realms and this is from where the small pebbles start to fill in the spaces of your bag (read mind), once you have succumbed to this trap, then one after the other, you will end up aligning yourself to please that person, that group, that sector, that industry and so on and so forth and in that mad race to please, appease and be likable with the many, you will end up shortchanging yourself so badly that, at the end of the day you will start loosing the whole idea of who you are and the next time when someone asks you, “who you are”, your answer is almost always- I am the “ABC Sr. Director, Sr Manager, CEO, COO, CMO” you will be glued to the crutches of a label that the society has thrown at you and this label comes at the bargain of loosing your own self into the vastness of the world that you move around in! Think about this and tell me, how many of your best colleagues, mentors or people that you admire or that admire you , know one thing about you that makes you the unique person that you are- no I am not asking you whether they know if you can sing or not- I am asking, “How many of them know, how unique are you- what makes you who you are?” and likewise how much invested are you among the hundreds of online friends and colleagues that you say mean the world to you? How much do you know about who they are, what makes them special?

The chances are by now, you too have figured out how shallow and hollow all of this is and perhaps many things around have always been! Sure enough, there are genuine relations, people and connections that is what humanity is all about, the point that I am trying to make is the same, that there is genuine human connect out there, but once our bags are full of all that unnerving garbage that we have filled it up with, we have no space for what really matters to us and we have the burden of all the non-productive and un-serving nonsense that we get tagged up with and end up carrying that all our lives, for no real rhyme or reason!

Whether it’s about the relations- personal or professional, the connections that we make, the contexts of society that we find ourselves in, all of these are nothing but a manifestation of our own intent- how badly do we want to achieve what we aspire for! The more feeble is that urge to achieve ones’ aspiration, the more clutter and baggage will one find around and as one gets more aligned to what their aspirations are and as that urge begins to intensify, all that clutter, and non-serving garbage gets vaporized by the power of purpose driven action which is based on that founding intent to achieve what the aspirations are! So what’s the plan?

Simple, empty your bag, as often as you can and as much as you can, that’s the only way to fill it with the lightest possible necessities that will really serve you and provide you with is needed as you reach your goals/aspirations! Do away with all of the non-serving burden and garbage, memories that don’t help, friends who seem not to be there, when they should be, family that doesn’t heed, colleagues who aren’t what they mean they are…people, places and things everything that does not serve your purpose and your journey in the direction of your aspiration is but a baggage that will eventually sap you off every little ounce of your energy that you so badly need to reach the zenith and celebrate that puritan achievement! Hold on to, all that, is a part of that journey, people, places and things, for they serve you, are your strength, perhaps anchor you, perhaps propel you, perhaps guide you, perhaps nourish you, but that’s about that! All that adds value to you and to what you add value is what will create an empowering context and this is the unfailing foundation that each one of us needs to build upon for an unfailing future and live our aspirations and more importantly be able to celebrate them as we achieve them!

Final words, everything that adds value to you, to what you add value and all that creates an empowering environment for you to race ahead and achieve what your aspirations are, is what the essence of a good bag is! Everything and anything else and less than what I said above, is nothing but baggage disguised in the many forms that it can manifest – relations, obligations, favors, adjustments, peer thankfulness, etc. etc. eventually it is this baggage, which if carried along unchecked for too longs, ends up burdening an individual beyond a point of repair and more often than not people end up celebrating mediocre lives when in reality that would have had everything that it takes for being that extraordinary soul that they could have been! Human souls entrapped in this never ending, camouflaged baggage of relations, things and contexts is indeed the fundamental reason why, so many individuals are never able to be who they can be and why for every one success story there are possibly hundreds or even thousands of stories of failure and anguish, not because the people fell short, but rather they were shortchanged by the contents that they added up in the bags that they carried!

I leave you here for now with these thoughts, it’s a nice Sunday, time to clean up your bag, what do you think? Just keep it simple, all that helps stays and all that harms or doesn’t help, goes! Declutter the bag (your mind) and stay aligned to your aspirations! Lesser the baggage greater is your speed and longer is the celebration once you accomplish!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one, until than stay wise and stay blessed!

Lose battles to win wars!

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

As strange it may seem, but ask any military commander and you will have plethora of stories that go on to prove the point, why at times loosing a few battles, irrespective how hard or easy they are is in the larger interest to win the final war! No, I am not a military strategist, but this principle perhaps fits aptly to the lives and times that we are going by and more than ever before, it has now become more important to identify which aspect of your life is you war and which one is a battle! Which is the one that you can let go and which is the one that you must engage with day in and day out until you accomplish that ever elusive objective! Join me here as we explore this space and understand why loosing at time is the final step to a magnificent victory!

If you have read any of the authentic memoirs on World War I or World War II, you will perhaps get a quick understanding about what, “The fog of war” means! When you have military action unleashed across many theaters, and with military strategy at work between both sides, as the war ensues each side will try to deviate, distract, dodge, trap, escape and beat down the other side, even for that to occur these multiple theaters of war though acting independently at first glance necessarily need to deliver results at the right time and place to tilt the balance of the war in their favour and this is the essence of loosing a few battles to win the war (the main battle- to put it in another choice of words!)

As in war, so in life, irrespective whether you are a young student trying to make your mark in the world of academics, or a young professional racing ahead that corporate ladder or a seasoned professional trying to create the next set of industry wide benchmarks- across each of them lies a common thread- that commonality pertains to the fact that irrespective of whoever you are and whatever you choose to do- unless you have identified what is equivalent of war in your life and what is the equivalent to the many battles that you must wage (albeit winning some and loosing a few), you will always seem to be challenged in an ever increasing complex pattern both externally and as well as within yourself!

Each day, we are compelled to make choices and as I had written in my earlier article, choices are what eventually make us but, largely dependent on other aspects associated with it! It is from here that as we begin to decide and check out what aspect of our life is the war that we must win and what aspects are the battles- which we are fine wining some and loosing some as long as the War is won.- So what are these battles and what is this war all about? Read on!

The battles that we need to pick and choose as we go about our daily lives can crop up from any area of our life and are related to our value system and beliefs that we end up anchoring upon as we grow. If the value and belief systems remain congruent to the ones given to us and the ones that we experience around- the number of battles to be fought reduces considerably! The moment there is disconnect between what we have been given to believe, follow and aspire to be and what we experience as individuals, conflict commences and like any conflict there is only one side that can win- either what you have been given to believe or the ones’ that you have experienced first hand! Depending on which side wins- that etched moment will further add a layer of foundational belief and character to who you are. If that new acquired character serves you to win the big war that awaits you- this battle was worthy enough of a victory- else a defeat here- by giving up your new acquired beliefs over the older ones’ would have been more valuable! Think about this! Let me explain this!

Consider, you are aspiring to be a cop, now as you grow you are going to be exposed to all the right and wrong that exists with any law enforcement society- this is your battle front and the aspiration that you want to be a cop is the war that you must win! Now if you start to despise all the negative aspects of being a cop- corruption, political pressure, seemingly in-efficient judicial recourse- and start thinking that none of this can be changed and you begin to ignore and start to act recklessly by trying to course correct people and situations assuming you are the law- by beating up people- you will perhaps win the battle of being right in that moment- but all and any chances of you being a cop will be dashed beyond repair- in a few societies permanently! This is a classic case of winning a battle emphatically, myopically and loosing the all important war altogether!

In another scenario, you see all this negative- understand why it is what it is, and wait for your time when you have the power to change that from the legal stand point! So here even if you seem to be submissive in the shorter time line over a period of time as you harness the power of the uniform that you wear, you are able to make more lasting impact with changes that you always wanted to do and more importantly winning the war by becoming a cop that you always wanted to be even if you would have lost a few battles on the way before becoming ready to have the power to change their outcome in your favour!

I can give you similar examples from virtually all arenas of the lives that we live, corporate, theater, art, politics, you name it and there will be stories having uncanny similarities but the singular point will be the fact that, people who are able to win the war of their lives are the ones’ who have learnt to lose their battles and more importantly know which to loose and which to win so that the balance of war is always tilted in their favour! So what’s the key here!

It all boils down to this simple truth of life, sounds a bit philosophical, but then truths are truths, once you have identified that golden purpose, objective of your life- that accomplishment of that desire/aspiration becomes the only and all important war that you must pursue and win- win because that moment of victory is what will go on to define who you are and what your life has been and what is the legacy that you will leave behind! With so much at stake, it’s but obvious one needs to apply time, patience and intelligence to decide what that war will be and time it right! Once you have identified the War that you must win, needless to say, like ghosts from nowhere you will find scenarios and challenges coming towards you, multiple of them a few times, feeble sometimes and strong at other times, these are all those battles which you need to weigh carefully every passing day/ hour to understand which to fight, which to delay, which to ignore and when you do fight, when and whether you fight to win or fight to loose- all these decisions need to be aligned in a manner that ensures that you are always congruent to your final objective of winning the war!

Battles that sap your energy, drive you crazy, take you away in opposite journeys and directions from the direction where your final war zone is serve no purpose and these are better ignored, delayed or if necessary lost! Battles that mark your presence like a milestone and which keep you aligned to the trajectory of your war zone are the ones that you need to win, because each victory on the way is a statement- a statement of your arrival on the war theater and ask any military commander, they will tell you, apart from the loud noises that the guns and machines make, if there’s anything else that melts the resolve and minds of the enemies it is the courage and achievements of the people in command.

Once you reach the war zone of your life empowered by your won battles and humbled by the ones’ you have lost- you have a finer judgement to time your move and ensure that no matter what the odds you will be able to achieve your objective- whether that is a job as a cop, that corporate CEO chair, that leadership position in an office, starting your own enterprise, serving the people- whatever is your war cry- all of that can be realized once you arrive at the war zone as a battle hardened soldier whose vision is focused and glued to the victory of the final war!

Learning what to let go, learning what to hang on to and choosing to loose a few and never loose some, is an art and science which gets perfected not in any school, but in the lab of your life! As unique as we are, so will be our battles and wars- each one cut out to mold us, shape us and push us ahead- willingly or unwillingly so that we are able to reach the war zone to win and achieve what we have set out for and while doing so we are able to give up on things and people that don’t serve us in the context that they tend to drag us down rather then propel us ahead! It is certainly not a call for being selfish, rather it is the interest of selflessness of serving the greater good for the people around you that you must lead, by loosing some and winning what you must- it is only then that as individuals and societies we will continue to have real life everyday heroes who make the difference by doing ordinary tasks in an extraordinary way and thereby keep the human spirits high and hold that promise which says, as long as you know where you want to be- you will get there once you have made up your mind- and as long as you are wiling to pay the price that it may cost! Whether that cost is justified or not is another story because success is finally something that has to be shared with the community and in isolation nothing works, neither happiness, nor leadership nothing!

I leave you here with these thoughts, urging you to take some time this weekend that you have, think deep within and decide what is the war of your life which you want to get into- which is that war that will define you, to create a lasting legacy of values and beliefs that you stand for and what are the battles that you are ready to win and loose to tilt the balance of this grand war in your favour!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Until than stay wise, keep thinking and yes breathe!

The story about choices.

~ Parimal Aluri ~ 1 Comment

This article is not about, the old wisdom about how choices make us and break us and how we end up becoming what we do because of the choices that we make, this is more about understanding how do choices present themselves, the way they do- and once we are bound to make a choice- that is what happens- we become who we are! Join me here, as we sieve through this aspect and perhaps, your choice of reading this empowers you to choose something!

Let’s begin from the start! How do choices manifest? Remember growing up? As a toddler, how did you go about choosing? Well difficult to remember? In all probability the choices would have been made for you- simply because you were not that equipped to make that choice between whether oats is better than cheese and bread! Hence your parents or whoever raised you, stepped in- their power came from their wisdom and knowledge about you to nourish you right- not because they knew it since they were a toddler- but rather because they began to learn all about it as they knew you would arrive! If they are wise enough and sane enough, their choices will nourish you well, giving you a great chance to stand firm in the life that you plan for yourself as a foundation to begin with! Your foundation of Health is a perhaps the first choice that your parents make for you and believe it or not that goes a long way to contribute to your potential and success in life! Sure enough as you grow, whether you decide to add to it or screw it up, entirely depends on you and that’s a set of choices that you make- to which we will visit in a moment!

The next important decision or rather choice that impacts your life is the school that you go- not I am not talking about you post grad schools, the very basic- and this does play a vital role- because the values that we choose to follow and choose to let go, the initial social communication and engagement steps are all formulated here and based on the choice of the school you will have the potential to emerge either as a flamboyant extrovert or a researching, probing , introvert or anything in between those two extremes- but any of this will manifest on the choice of the school you make! How much control you would have- well, depends on how many schools you got to change what the process of deliberation over choices is followed at one’s home- some case it could be a simple one liner- in few other cases it could be a get together of all relatives to make a consensus based call and there may also be those eclectic few- who would want to host a community lunch to learn the latest developments around the schools in the neighborhood and then take a call! Irrespective of what method is chosen, the fact remains that a choice is made and this one goes on to build, mold and shape the foundation of your approach to the world in pursuit of knowledge, learning and applying your imagination- how this gets played out, goes a long way to determine what vocation you choose and “who” as a label of work that you eventually become!

The fun begins now, by the time you have completed lapping up your knowledge, you are also more or less getting into the space where you commence to make active choices, unlike the earlier ones’ which were largely passive, from now on you are in control and you make the choice- what shirt, which trouser, which perfume, what party venue..so on and so forth and as you start with these seemingly trivial choices, you soon begin to get dragged into the more complex, few necessary and few completely unwanted (which arise because of some of your active choices gone bad!) choices and before you realize you are living a life of your own choices, made in rapid speed, with or without thought applied and the consequences are well, there for everyone to see and only for you to experience and live through!

Choices, surely go a long way to make who you are, but it’s importantly the quality of choices and the quality of leadership that you have applied to lead yourself, once you have committed to the choices made by you is what sets successful people apart from exceptional people! Let me explain! Say, you made it to the MIT and are graduating in Finance, a choice which you made, now the score with what you graduate will go to speak volumes about the depth of the choice you made and the application that you brought to it- you see, you could be a business tycoons heir so getting admission perhaps would have been easy and if end of the day you are going to head back to your family business and add dollars to it, nothing wrong with it- but then for that you never needed a MIT to begin with! Sure enough, you would have learnt a few tricks and secrets being there and made some great friends for the future, but hey! That would have been anyways possible given you are stinking rich and can afford to connect as you wish! This is how “choices gone wrong” look! Don’t be surprised, but the intellectual degeneration that we see around the world is because, people who care less for the cutting edge knowledge and application of that end up getting the front row seat to the show and those who really need it are often somewhere in the back rows trying hard to understand and make sense of what’s unfolding- eventually resigned to work and be enslaved to the front row guests! If end of the day the whole idea is to run your own business, the way your family has been running- then why waste valuable hours of others time- because end of the day, no principles that are learnt will ever get applied- for one reason or the other. The teachers and the institutes may be great, the students too based on who they are- but no one ends up helping anyone in the real context of it! Think about it! How many business heirs have gone to the top 10 colleges in the world and won a Nobel Prize for outstanding contribution to their chosen field? Let me know if you come across any! If you see the profiles of the people who have a made a difference to humanity and have served it exercising a choice that they had- their approach, selection and application of their choices is always consistent right from the start and even if that means- being an unsung hero, a failure (in the eyes of the corporate world) they are just fine with it- because they have made a choice to stay who they are and serve the way they have chosen to!

Likewise when it comes to the world of corporate chaos, of start ups, innovators’ and what you have, people make choices and not all of them succeed, the success stories of a few hundred start ups the world over are celebrated in the elite unicorn group- but beyond that glitz and glamour lie the ruins and graveyards of wrong choices that have buried themselves and also sometimes the people who lived and swore by them! Sure enough, not all those choices would have been bad, neither all of them would have been wrong, what makes the difference again is the quality and application of the choice that is made! When it comes to the big bad world of the corporate, why do you think, everyone doesn’t become a CEO, why doesn’t everyone in the Stock market become a billionaire? You will find people with similar qualifications and competing intelligence and experience everywhere, but there are only a few who last, endure and are able to make it to that coveted chair- so what is so different about the choice, that they would have made- same school, same college, same degree, similar experience and growth trajectories- so what is this slight difference that makes everything else fade away? Read on….

The slight difference which makes a world of difference is all about the Application and Implementation of the choices made topped with a layer of ones’ intrinsic intelligence and persona! This is what goes to give the slight wafer thin edge to pip others who are almost always very similar- but this intrinsic value holds the sway and does its bit when the time for those hard choices come in to play! Want proof- browse through the details of any management team/ board of directors of any large organisation and compare them with the current Managing Director or the Chairperson as the case may be- you will see my point clear and bright! If this is what it is, you may want to know, how can we harness the suitableness within us to make our choices more align and empowering?

The trick begins and ends by knowing yourself well and intentionally well as you grow- the trick is to force choices on yourself- that suit and align you on a daily basis to keep you on the path that you have chalked out for yourself- in terms of the gain that you have envisioned for yourself as part of the choice making process! The reason why, I say, this has to be about forced choices is because, unless you aren’t aligning yourself to these forced choices, you will be drawn to make other optional choices all the time and that will not only deviate and distract you from your core objectives but also sap your energies by allowing you waste your breath on things that really don’t serve you in any manner! It is only once that empowering choices become your second skin, is that you will find dramatic shifts coming in your life- where- everything that doesn’t hold value for you will vaporize and all that is required for you to keep moving ahead keeps arriving as you need it! You call it the, “Law of Attraction”, call it “Harnessing the Universal Energies to align the universe with your desires”, whatever you find fit- that’s you choice!

The essence here is the singular fact that sharp self-awareness, quality and intent driven application and implementation of choices made alone is the way to stand out even at the very top! Sure enough one must guard to ensure you don’t end up being a psycho at the top- the world has too many for now- choose any field you wish to see! As long as the objective is of achieving that defining success through high quality choices made with an focused intent, flawless implementation and intense application, the journey always remains to be one hell of an experience and yes it is again your choices alone through the journey which will ensure that this dream like journey and the final destination remain as pristine as they must and don’t turn into a nightmare because of one bad choice somewhere along!

I leave you here with these thoughts! The weekend is almost here, grab that inspiring book, hold that coffee and soak yourself into something that makes you choose something today for a wonderful tomorrow that you so badly want!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! Until then make a choice to stay wise and stay safe!

Don’t bite the dog back!

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

Even before you think about it, here’s my disclaimer, I love pets,cats, dogs, all animals except humans as pets- because humans being who they are, are simply un-tamable! Join me here to know why it is important not to bite back at what bites you!

The past few years, the time that we are transiting now and the few years that lie head of us, all have and probably will witness an ever growing approach of humanity- which is will be something like- you did this so I do this! Well, as long as this remains to be a child’s play date- it seems fine- that too when it is within the limits! When adults start to behave that way- as they run nations, corporations and to a certain extent their families and themselves- well society is all but set up for one disaster unto the next- because everyone’s speaking and no one is listening!

If Industrial revolution, made us more crazy workers, operational wizards and business tycoons were created from the cradles of that system, it also simultaneously held on to the values of humanity, collaboration, community care and so on and so forth, sure enough few of the social value were attained only after some struggle across different societies of the world. But essentially during this era, which lasted well until the early 80’s, even as human society made advancements technologically in almost every sphere that one could think about- humanity was still able to hold on to the proverbial human glue of compassion and care- perhaps not spread equally everywhere, but it was visible and could entrap any human who ventured too close so that even the odd care free souls could be knitted into this web of humanity!

Something changed as we embraced the dawn of the digital economy- the human connect- and the need of human interaction, the way we knew it and we should have continued it- changed forever- devices, gadgets, screens and automated messages began to replace that essential warm shake hand, that hug and that pat on the back- with the whole world of emoticons that you can possibly think of! But hasn’t the digital revolution eased our life? Sure it has, but like with every technology and every tool- as long as you apply that technology or tool at hand to create something meaningful it helps, the moment you want to abuse it, you will be harmed! A hammer that is used to shape molten metal to create metallic art forms, while that same hammer thrown at someone- could mean a certain walk to the hospital! You may say, that’s all fine, now what- what’s biting back and how? Read on!

Unlike the earlier revolutions that humanity witnessed, none has changed societies the way the digital revolution has, it has disconnected societies even as it has connected the world! As humans we have lost the value, the color and the intensity of the interactions that we had amongst us, before the dawn of the digital age- now while that may be a blessing for a few, it has undoubtedly turned out to be a curse for the millions of people across societies! You see, unlike the earlier times, even as people accepted and embraced the social divide between the rich and the poor, diverse opinions, the working class and the employment providers, there was never an unwarranted urge or drive to rush towards being a success story and make it the sole purpose even if that meant trampling upon anything and everyone that stood between the individual and the opportunity! So why did this change? How has the society of today, encouraged this, why has a digital society which should have been connected become seemingly so dangerously polarized and complicated where every other person seems to be hounding the other!

What digitization, has done is, it has played over our minds to begin with and later on as we progressed and advanced, with the cost of staying connected being cheaper than buying a nutritious meal, our malnourished minds have happily lapped up and consumed everything that is served over the screens- sense and non-sense in equal measure and needles to say- all that seems to be too easy to be true is readily believed – that is what the human brain is programmed to do! You see, as long as your brain is sure that you are not getting killed, it doesn’t matter which post you liked or which share you did or what you said or which snap you uploaded! It’s only when regulatory frame around has started to get more meaningful that now some minds have started to think before they rush to act over the digital space!

This reckless human behavior is now, not limited to the online space and this un- serving approach has trickled down into the way we engage offline too and the results are everywhere to see- road rage, outbursts of anger, bouts of fist fight, mob mentality, believing that might is right, failure to listen, connect, engage, listen and collaborate- because more and more time spent on the online world has gone to reinforce the belief that Alone is good, I am fine, perhaps the best! So when real life encounters with real smart people begin to manifest, the online perceptions about people engagement begin to fade away and one quickly is able to see the gaping void within oneself! This is where shit happens and that urge to start biting back at everything and everyone around!

People, not all, but a decent number have now reached a point where for them to define what is normal, is a task unto itself and the time will not be too far, when videos will have to played teaching people the right way to shake hands and communicate to re-engage with other people! Even as this starts to get corrected, it is vital for people and the society to learn and understand that, the problems of today that we have manifested are more within each one of us and unless those are addressed, no matter what and how much we do to help the people around nothing will work- simply because this habit of biting back- snapping at others, has to first be eliminated! The habit of reacting in equal measure to everything that comes ones’ way is the founding premise which has been perhaps the biggest curse coming in form the online space! The whole thinking process of doing “tit for tat” and mimicking to gain popularity, support (read social acceptance) are all but manifestations of the biting back problem! So you may, want to ask, fine so what can be done about it?

Well to begin with, it starts by having some wise self- discipline, say no to gadgets and say yes to people- while at home, when driving, while at the station, while commuting, throw away that screen and start to practise and rehearse the lost art of engaging with people- those chats, discussions, healthy opinions and those closing smiles and hand shakes- well that is what is needed to ensure that we regain our human aspect of the social fabric that we have and once this is done- the tendency to snap back and hit back at people for every opinion they say, every comment they make will be managed to a great extent- and to begin with even you may find how powerful this simple re-engagement trick is! The more people begin to connect and engage with people than gadgets, the lesser will be the instances of wanting to hit back, lash out, react, and comment on things and matters what others say and a better judgement will prevail and sane discernment will be applied to engage in what matters and all that doesn’t hold any value will be ignored or let go! Once this happens, as the brain is freed from the burden of unwarranted hit backs and episodes of mercurial swings- it begins to go back to its creative frame and ushering in a new promise for a better tomorrow for the individual and the society as a whole as more and more people embrace this approach to re-engage with humanity!

The only way to course correct anything, as individuals or as a society is to deep dive within and respond and not react- each time we end up reacting rather than responding we are just preparing for the next show down of who snaps first! and trust me the world has too many offerings around for you to excel at that! The real trick is observing these, know where they are and than ignoring all that crap, keep moving to achieve what you must through minimal conflict and maximum deliberation!

A few final words, no matter how mad we are at the dog, because it barked at us or probably tried to bite us, we never bite it back! This is what is at the foundation of who we are, each time we forget this and end up lashing out at everyone around us and start to bark at everything that is unfolding around- we just end up trying to bite that dog back and doing so we end up becoming more of an animal than being a human!

I leave you here with these thoughts, urging you to wear your smile, light up that warmth and when you have to choose between people and devices- go for people- you may not always be pleased- but you will always learn and that learning is critical to make you wise enough to either write the next book and or have some new context on the screens that you hold so dearly!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another article! Until then, stay wise, stay safe and yes, don’t bite the dog back- whatever that dog personifies as, in your life!

Thinking on the go!

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

Sometime back, I had written about dealing with job losses, this article is a slight extension to the earlier one, in the sense that it calls for individuals to develop the skill of being able to think on the go! For the given fallacy of the collective intelligence that humanity has now, it’s now clear than ever before that the pandemic has become a challenge not because of the virus, but rather the way it was handled, by the people who handled it! This goes on to reinforce the fact, that it’s not only important to have wisdom in your own house, but you also need to have wise neighbors and a social set with more wise people than fools around! Because you may do all it takes to safeguard your house, but it only takes one random foll somewhere to bring down your house, for no fault of yours! So join me here and let’s explore what Thinking on the go, looks like and what is it, that makes it tick!

Whether it is the job that you have lost or that steep fall in your business which is making it difficult by the hour to even stay sane, all of this, whether you believe it or not, is not a problem outside of us, it is something that we have ended up creating within us! Yes, as they say, as we die to point that index finger to someone or someplace, the fact is we have more fingers pointing back us and that is the truth of life! Let me explain!

Sure enough, you did not have any role in allowing the virus to get loose or have it come into your society, but even as that was unfolding, early Jan- mid-Jan depending on where you are in the world, the warnings had been put up- some places had them orange and some societies were figuring out which shade of orange would be fine, until all hell broke loose and pretty much the whole world was in a deep red by March-April! You may ask, so what is that you could have done? How can you be accountable for the place you are stuck in! Well for the simple reason, you simply failed to assess what was unfolding in the context of how that would impact you!

Perhaps you did not read well enough into what is the organisation, that you signed up for- which at the slightest nudge from the market conditions, would be ready to have you sent home to worse still halve your income and ask you to work twice as hard and as if that was not enough you continue to manage your normal or even more increased expenses with a lesser source! You see, irrespective of which organisation you are in, how old or new it is, you would have got an opportunity to assess the settings for your firm, in the backdrop of the unfolding pandemic and evaluate if it was going to sail or float- but instead of doing this, if you would have applied your generous opinion to never ending suggestions and talks on what the government should be doing, you would have all but missed that window!

Similarly, if you have been in business, you will find that, we have witnessed all over the world, overnight manufacturers shoot up, from face masks to the PPEs, to the sanitizers and all that paraphernalia that goes with our times today, sure enough, I do understand that not all manufacturers would have had the opportunity to be so lucky to have the suppliers/ vendors and machinery all ready to throw out these new products- but the fact is that a few of them did eventually have it and that has possibly saved some sanity for them, unlike for the vast majority of others, who have been stuck only for one reason- being a specialist- You see like an endangered species in the animal list, being a specialist is great- but that greatness itself ends up becoming the strongest weakness and once that is altered- you are reduced to nothingness! So what’s the point- Well the point is very simple- only when you are able to develop an ability to keep thinking, observing and running simulations in your mind of what’s happening around and importantly about all that can and will impact you with a scale of probability and intensity of the impact- you will be better prepared to deal with this kind of shit, better the next time around!

Early Jan, mid-Jan of February as the market place started to come apart, the writing was pretty much on the wall, the world over, instead of debating and discussing what the government must and mustn’t do, it would have been far better, to assess your work place and see what you need to do or not and understand if your workplace is going to stay warm to you or give you a cold shoulder at a time when you needed the warmth the most! Some firms have done one or the other and well, not to be judgmental, even at their levels would have had a good enough reason to shut shop, lay off, offer pay cuts- because they too did not assess themselves- possibly they too ended up being busy about something which was inconsequential to them at their level!

Thinking on the go, is all about assessing all that can impact you, it’s about being aware of what’s unfolding around and then running simulations in your mind, so that if push comes to shove, you are more ready than ever before! The firms that changed their products and got into manufacturing masks and PPE gear instead of garments, sure enough, they were blessed by the availability of the same machinery and with a few tweaks they were able to deliver- but even for that too happen, it would have taken some team and few people who saw the tragedy as an opportunity to bank upon and end of the day- these firms have made their moolah, even as the product changed and as sad it may look, sure they have profited from creating these products!

Even at an individual level, if you are able to continually assess and monitor the way your industry/ sector is moving and where your firm sits in the relevance of the value chain ecosystem for that industry, you know whether you will be sailing through or sinking staying on that boat- it is observations and analysis done in this space which can help one decide, explore and attempt alternatives- whether that alternative is to go to a more stable firm, with a pay cut or start an enterprise or pursue something new altogether; you will be able to take a shot at these options only if you are aligned to think on the go and don’t fall into the entrapment of security and safety of your current workplace or business model!

Thinking on the go, is being aware- about yourself, about what’s unfolding and how and where you want to be and seeing what are the current options that help you stay on that trajectory and route plan! It is about creating a great level of self-awareness, some cutting edge observations and ability to analyse flawlessly. Sure enough it also calls for running hundreds “What if” simulations in your mind so that you are able to choose from what seems to be the best option available in the contextual settings that are presented to you! It is not about getting anxious or paranoid about what you see around, it is rather about, understanding and deciphering what you see around so that you are able to avoid and do away with that unwanted paranoia and anxiety at the very beginning. Self- awareness enables one to empower oneself and actions resulting from empowered thinking almost always translate into manifestation of success and accomplishment of objectives!

I leave you here with these thoughts, asking you to reflect- when was the last time you deployed something like this- when was the last time that you were forced into a corner and had to think hard and straight to come out and move ahead of a situation? How helpful was that and how helpful do you think the ability to think as you move, will be to you- considering all that you do or plan to do!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one! By the way, we have commenced our Personal Coaching sessions for one-on-one paid coaching. Feel free to write in to us at simplify@simplifylives.com for more details around that bit!

Are you fooled by numbers?

~ Parimal Aluri ~ Leave a comment

I am not too sure, but perhaps there was a wise person who one fine day decided that humanity must pursue all and only those things that can be measured and all that is been pursued must be measured, this self-defeating thought has led us to a point where that even the amount of happiness that we seem to experience in our lives has got reduced to the digital world of likes, comments and shares! Join me here as we try to understand why numbers are not everything- always and why the context and totality of the circumstances too matter!

Walk into any high performing sales organization, and yes, the only things that will ever matter are going to be number, well nothing wrong with that- whether those numbers are for the sales achieved or for the earnings and incentives made- either ways it works for everyone who is part of that system- but if you were to start evaluating the How and Why of the sale and When and Where of the sale, things will suddenly start to seem much more different then they are! Let me explain! Consider this, you have a young person who has joined the organization in the last quarter and has been able to win back three lost clients but the sale values are less then 50% of his target for the quarter- so has he performed or not? Did he do it the wrong way by investing more time to win clients back, rather than going for the easy kills and hitting that 100% target achieved tag? Well this is just one of those many examples that we come across the corporate world where in all the time people are talking about % achieved, “x” numbers instead of “y” a year back, 125% over the target (ask a puritan mathematician and they will tell you why anything over 100% looks outright stupid! The essence of % is to record what is within the 100% not ever above it!). In all these crazy and at times dumb and outrageous measurements what we forget to factor in is the most important aspect of everything around us- the human aspect associated with numbers!

Consider the pandemic that is being played out, apart from the real health issues that we have to fight and deal with as a society, what is also baffling is the amount of statistical junk and unwanted data that gets thrown out on our face day in and day out! More often then not all these numbers are data that are thrown are pure junk, let me tell you why! When what should be communicated is actual number of active cases (that is real people infected as of in that moment of reporting), often what is shared is the total number of cases since the onset of the pandemic- needless to say higher numbers are shared, more fear mongering and more chaos! If you thought the way we are dealing with the pandemic was bad, just see what’s happening around with the vaccines! The sample size of volunteers for the vaccines is not in the millions or the thousands (at least- what should be when it comes to clinical trials- across morbidity and medical health spectrum),but what we have as 100% success and promise about vaccines is limited to a few hundreds of people undergoing accelerated trials! So when these vaccines tested and cleared on the fast route hit the market shelves- I am not pretty sure if you want to be the first ones to go ahead and take that intriguing shot!

So why have societies taken a sudden liking to play around with numbers and represent only what the numbers say (which often is not the whole picture!)? What is playing out here? Well …read on!

You see, whether you like it or not, numbers have this power which is intrinsic to them (as they are absolute), it is only when metrics are added and when they are added the way it suits the person who is recording it- rather the way the big bosses want it to be- even a healthy number begins to look bad- let me clear this for you- the earlier example of that sales person- who won back three old clients- well so if you were to measure his success on the measurement of old clients won- keeping the target 0- he would have outperformed! but when you measure his performance only against his target- well he will look bad enough at 50%- possibly hanging on to his dear job! So what is the truth? Before I answer that, consider the vaccines’ that are likely to come up- they are 100% safe among how many- 100, 200, 300 and what are the population numbers that are going to get the shots- around 2 billion! Think about that- a trail done on a few hundreds is going to decide the fate of 2 billion people world over- let that sink in! Numbers are never the whole truth or the entire truth- like nothing is- I don’t want to sound philosophical here, but that is what it is- absoluteness is a mirage when it comes to applying that principle to the worldly things around us! So how do we go about this and make sense of the junk that we face day in and day out?

Well, first things first, if you are that sales guy and if you in that spot where you have not been appreciated or even had a mention of your efforts to win back lost clients, you should know right away- you are in a wrong place! You are basically in poker yard- where only sleight of hands matter and if you were to loose a few hands too often, you will be actually thrown out of that arena! As far as the other things that are concerned, the magical % and numbers and averages and fractions, the GDP’s, the Growth and Decline graphs everything that you see, think before you consume it! Practice the pause, and try to see what the numbers aren’t communicating enough– there has to be a contextual set around what has been presented and the first step is to see whether that is the right lens or frame to see and evaluate things through to begin with even before you want to decide what is the right thing to measure! In the case of a pandemic, measuring deaths is perhaps the only definitive metric to gauge the aggressiveness and severity of the infection and the spread of the virus among the vulnerable- everything else is just a statistical model- because eventually all of the other sets/ sub sets of data will live to tell the tale!

So, the next time you come across a hotshot, telling you details about stats and numbers, ask that person to pay a visit to the section of human studies, social construct and public policy, perhaps the person will have a changed mind- if not a changed heart- to revisit the numbers that they have- because they will too realise that- numbers are not the whole truth but a part of the whole truth and the whole truth can never be complete unless the human story is aligned and is part of that narrative! If numbers were truly supreme, the world would have been lead by all the people who had high scores across all the IQ and MENSA tests ever designed and administered- We all know for a fact that- we live in a world where fools have opinions louder than their wisdom and the knowledgeable are at times far too silent to even realsie that it’s not the noise around that they hear but their beating heart- which seems to be racing up and down as it witnesses dumb rule and the wise fail!

I leave you here with these thoughts, urging you to reflect upon how was your relation with numbers, how did you manage to extract completeness from them? Were you able to create value by adding relevant contexts and how did you stay away from adding ambiguity and ensuring that you did not measure what did not serve any purpose!

Ciao for now, will be back soon with another one, until than stay wise and yes, do read the text that comes with the numbers- always!