The word “coach” has touched us at some or the point in our lives. Whether it was a sport that you wanted to take up or learn to play some music or wanted to prepare for some tough competitive exam- very often we have been advised to get in touch with “abc” to be coached by them because they are the best! Join me here, as we try to unravel what is that makes coaches unique and so awesome and what is it about their approach to situations that sets them apart which enables them to empower their clients in no time and turn around a situation to their advantage!
Before we move ahead, let me clarify that coaching is not mentoring, you see mentoring is almost always a work setting and aligned to specific tasks or goals to be achieved pertaining to a goal that the work team or the individual needs to reach to either ensure their survival or their team’s existence or for their progress as the case may be! Coaching is about empowering the individuals, not because the coach knows everything and knows all, but because the coach knows that only you have the power to bring about a real change within you and the only thing that the coach does is, tells you how to unlock that untapped potential that resides within you and each one of us! This is the essence of real and meaningful coaching- bringing about extraordinary results from ordinary people by empowering them to take courageous actions and thinking so that they know where to look next and what to see as they surge ahead in life! So how do coaches arrive at this space and can anyone of us practice this too?
Coaches too are forged by time, knowledge, experiences, observations and the social construct around them, something very similar to what you and I are, the only thing differently that coaches (someone like me) do is, scan the ecosystem around frequently, rapidly and connect unconnected data points, observations and indicators to weave a meaningful imagery of what is really unfolding for the client! Unlike the mentor- mentee association, coaching or the approach of the coach doesn’t get designed to solve a problem with a full stop, it certainly starts with a pressing issue but as that issue is been resolves what really unfolds is a subtle empowering change within the client- which enables the client themselves to rectify what needs to be, so that they are back on track to what they aspire for! The coach is not the expert to solve the client’s problem, the expert is always the client and the solution too comes from the client, the coach only helps the client to find the solution for the pressing problem by altering the approach to the problem and if required bring about certain fundamental attitudinal changes in behaviour and approach to life in general so that, not only is this problem solved, but also there is enough firmness and resolve intrinsically developed to address and prevail over any such incident should it arise again!
If you want to build that formidable mindset of a coach, you too can, you will possibly first need to throw away your ego- literally vaporize it, if you can! Next you will have to come to terms to the eternal reality that no matter how much you know, you will almost always perhaps know nothing each time a new problem crops up or an old problem comes up in a new setting! Furthermore you will have to realise that you are not a sounding board, but rather a sink- which takes away all that does not serve the client and help unclutter your client’s mind so that once the cup of his mind is half empty- that can be filled with thoughts and ideas that can empower them and help them see clearly and move ahead! As deceptively as all this seems, its a tall order, to throw away the very fundamental of human attributes that all of us have, stay aligned to the centre-line and with every word that is shared with the client to know that what has been said , will serve the purpose of the client and is been done without any prejudice or any personal intent of the coach mixed up with it!
Do you remember, your school or college days and possibly you were coached for some sport? Let’s say you were coached for football, what were you then told- how to move every metre on the ground or just where the goal is and what position you are playing at? Chances are you would have been coached the second way- that is what empowerment is- you are made accountable and so that you can relish your success and embrace your failures in equal measure and this is what true coaches do- they help their client reflect inwards to once again shake hands with selves and their abilities and competencies and that’s about it- once they have re-connected within and are more clear about their goal post- the job of the coach is done! Sure enough if there are some tricky patches and some strategic challenges to overcome the coach is always there, but coaching is never about asking people to do something the way the coach would have done it or getting it done in a particular manner! It is always about how the client wants it to be done and the way that is empowering for the client and serves the greater good for all of those who are involved in it! Because the heart of the matter is that the Coach is not the expert of the Client’s Life- The Client is! The coach just has the expertise to help them de-clutter and use the search light effectively and help them focus where they must and help them stay aligned at all times!
The mind of a coach is ever fluid and is receptive to new situations, challenges and every coach knows that every challenge is unique even as the problem may be similar because the people who are dealing with it are unique and it is their uniqueness which directs them to take steps differently which either ends up simplifying things for them or ends up complicating the problem even further more for them! This is where the coach steps in and save the day for the client! The coaching mindset is also about having phenomenal levels of compassion, empathy and endless energy to have focused and directed listening to really connect and not only listen to what is been said but also to capture the unspoken words through non-verbal cues and statements which are presented with cryptic yes & no both intertwined within each other!
More importantly the coach always presents solutions which are specific, unique and tailor made to fit specific challenges by helping the client to breakdown, prioritize (kind of make a hit list) in accordance of urgency and importance so that they remain on the chosen path of progress! This step and process is repeated for every separate factor that a client may want help with and want it sorted!
The mindset of a coach is all about service orientation, enabling empowerment and creating value by aligning the client to their aspirations as long as they make genuine sense and serve the greater good for everyone involved! Sure enough, there are a lot of technical skills, tools and models that coaches use as they go about working with their clients, but the fundamental thing that every coach has, is the mindset of a coach- which is empowering, liberating and serving the client at all times and never even for a second suggesting anything, but waiting patiently to hear the softest whispers of the client and read the unspoken words to really understand what the trues aspirations are and then helping them achieve it!
I wrap it up here, given the limitation of a blog, guess these fundamental thought starters should be much helpful for now! Think hard, think deep and think long about whether you need a coach or you can be a good coach with the mindset that you have and if you seek that liberation and empowerment for yourself or wish to provide it to someone!
Ciao for now, stay safe and stay wise!
An Aura of Fleeting Thoughts 